Kiss Me
by LoveableKat
Summary: AU in which Mary and Matthew decide to get married rather early on. There are other aspects that are AU as well. Told in conversations.
1. Chapter 1

January 1913

Matthew and Mary

"I have a proposal to make."

"Go ahead"

"Marry me."

"So your proposal is an actual proposal."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't love you."

"I don't love you either. So we are on even terms then."

"Why do you want to marry me if you don't love me?"

"Because I think we'd do well together. And we'd both get what we want."

"And what would that be?"

"You'd get your father's estate and your mother's title. I'd get a wife who knows what it means to be part of the aristocracy."

"Since when do you care what being part of the aristocracy means? You are so proud of your middleclass roots."

"Yes, I am. But I can't be a good earl if I only act according to middleclass values."

"Who are you parroting now? Granny?"

"No. Those are my own thoughts. Think about it. Please."

"No. I don't want a marriage of convenience. Not if I can help it, anyway."

"That's a lie. You'd have married Patrick if, in your own words, 'nothing better had turned up'."

"How do you know I said that?"

"I talk to Edith a lot. Or rather, she talks to me. She has told me a lot of things about you."

"I bet not a single one of them was good."

"True."

"Then why don't you marry her?"

"I don't like her. No, that's wrong. I like her as a cousin but I couldn't marry her."

"What's the difference between her and me then?"

"With you I could live without flinching every time a saw you at the dining table. Even if you were my wife."

"How very romantic."

"I know this everything but romantic."

"You don't say."

"What about your parents?"

"What about them?"

"They didn't marry for love. But they are content, aren't they?"

"No, they are not."

"No?"

"No. If you refer to my parents as being 'content' with each other and in their marriage you are making the understatement of the century. And not just this century. The previous one as well. They are wonderfully, blissfully happy. They love each other very, very much."

"There you have it then."

"You think that would happen to us?"

"It's possible."

"I doubt it."

"Think about it. Please."


	2. Chapter 2

January 1913

Mary and Cora

"Matthew asked me to marry him."

"What did you say?"

"No, of course. But he didn't accept that answer."

"Why not?"

"Because he thinks we'd do well together."

"He's probably right, you know."

"No, I don't know. We are so different. I am part of the aristocracy; he is a middleclass country lawyer. And I don't love him"

"Hm"

"You do want me to get married for love, don't you?

"I'd prefer it. But it doesn't mean that there aren't other options."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your father and I"

"You and Papa were lucky, extremely lucky."

"Yes. But why shouldn't Matthew and you be just as lucky?"

"Because it would be quite a coincidence to happen twice within the same family."

"Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm rather certain."

"I am not. Mary, I know what it is like to marry someone you don't love. But I know that a marriage like that can turn out to be a very happy one. And regardless of what your Granny has probably been telling you for the last twenty years, I did not marry your father just because of his title."

"You didn't marry him because you loved him."

"No. But I accepted him because I thought that we would get along well enough to not hate each other. I think it was the same for him."

"How did you fall in love?"

"I don't know. But I think that in the end we both knew that we could be happy in this marriage if we put in the effort."

"How long did it take? For you to be in love?"

"Less than a year."

"That's not that long."

"No. Not long at all."

"I still can't do it."

"It's your decision. But don't make it lightly."

Mary and Robert

"For heaven's sake Papa, can't you knock before you come in here?"

"Why should I? This is my room."

"This is Mama's room."

"Maybe. But I sleep in here every night."

"I am aware of that. But can't you at least pretend that you are not doing that?"

"Why?"

"Oh never mind. I leave you to it. Good night."

"Good night, Mary."

Robert and Cora

"What was that about?"

"She's confused. Matthew's proposed to her."

"Has she accepted him?"

"Honestly, Robert? You don't know?"

"So she's said no."

"Yes."

"Pity."

"Apparently Matthew hasn't accepted her answer."

"Does he love her that much?"

"I don't think he loves her at all. Which is why he is able to not accept her refusal. If he loved her, he'd be heart broken."

"But he thinks they'd do well together."

"Yes. And I agree."

"So do I."

"But Mary doesn't"

"I'm not sure. She says they are too different but it seems to bother her more that they aren't in love."

"I always thought that she was the only one of the girls who would not care about that."

"Robert, every girl cares about that."

"You didn't."

"Yes, I did. I just thought other things were more important."

"That turned out not to be a problem."

"No. I told Mary that a marriage that does not start out as a love match might still turn into one. She said that we were extremely lucky and she didn't think it would happen to her as well."

"Should I talk to her?"

"I don't think that would help. The more people that tell her to accept Matthew, the less likely she is to actually do it. She gets her stubbornness from her father, you know?"

"I suppose I gave her that."


	3. Chapter 3

January 1913

Mary and Robert

"Papa, can I talk to you?"

"Of course you can."

"Why did you propose to Mama?"

"You know that. Because of her money. And because I thought, no, I knew we'd do well together. I was right."

"Yes. Imagine you hadn't fallen in love."

"I'd rather not."

"Please. Would you be happy now? After 25 years of marriage without love? Or passion?"

"I don't know. Mary, I am not good at talking about these things, so I'll say it only once. I love your mother more than anything else in the world and she has made me happier than I ever thought I'd be. I have no idea whether that was fate, or luck, or whether we fell in love because we wanted to. But I can't imagine not loving her because that is an integral part of me. But I believe that I would have been content, had I never known what it was to love her. Maybe I would even have been happy. Just not as happy as I am right now."

"Is that what you want for me? To be content?"

"I wish for you to be happy."

"But you want me to marry Matthew."

"I think you could be happy with him."

"Why? Because I don't"

"You are more alike than you think."

"We argue all the time."

"Yes. That's one reason why I think you'd do well. You both like a good argument. And you both argue well. Matthew is the only real match for you. And you know it."

"Well, he's a lawyer. He argues for a living."

"Yes. And you have inherited both my stubbornness and your mother's tendency to voice almost every thought in her head. You live to argue."

"That's not enough. I think that is rather dangerous. If we were married and had a serious disagreement, we'd never see or hear the end of it."

"I don't think that would happen. Because you are both highly intelligent. You'd know when to stop and what to do to stop it."

"You put a lot of faith in me."

"You are my daughter. I know you well. I don't think my faith in you is unjustified."

"Are you sure you are not just painting a nice picture because you want me to accept Matthew?"

"I'm sure. It is your decision whether you want to marry Matthew or not."

"What if I want to have the same kind of marriage that you and Mama have?"

"Then you have to take a gamble either way. Take the gamble of marrying Matthew and hope for love to come or take the gamble of not marrying Matthew and hope that someone will come along whom you'll fall deeply in love with before he proposes."

"And you think the first gamble is the less risky one."

"Yes. But you have to make the decision. Think about it carefully before you do."


	4. Chapter 4

February 1913

Matthew and Mary

"Marry me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't love you and you don't love me."

"Does that matter?"

"Yes, it matters a great deal."

"I'll keep asking you."

"And I'll keep refusing you."

"If I loved you, that would hurt."

"But you don't. And it's not about you, it's about us. How could we ever be happy together? All we do is fight."

"No Mary, we don't fight. We argue. There's a difference. And you know there is. You are too intelligent not to know."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere."

"I know. That's why I never compliment you on your dress or hairstyle or whatever else fashionable ladies like to be complimented on by single men."

"So you don't think I'm fashionable."

"I don't think you are vain enough for it to be important to you to be complimented on it by a man you don't love."

"My father says that it would be a gamble."

"What would be a gamble?"

"If we got married. We'd gamble on our happiness. But he thinks that not marrying you would be an even riskier gamble."

"I'd be ready to gamble on us. The question is are you."

"No."

"Think about it. Please."


	5. Chapter 5

March 1913

Matthew and Mary

"Marry me."

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes. I'll marry you."

"Why?"

"Because I think we'd do well together. And so do you. And everyone else."

"So you are willing to gamble your happiness on us."

"Yes. I'll win Downton and my mother's title for sure. And I won't have to flinch every time I see you at the dinner table. Even if you are my husband."

"When?"

"I don't know. Soon. Now that I've made my decision, why wait any longer than necessary? It will take a while to organize the wedding of course."

"Have you told your parents?"

"No. I'll make an announcement at dinner tonight. Why don't you come? We can announce it together then."

"You are rather practical."

"Yes."

"Where are we going to live?"

"I'll not move out of the Abbey. If that's what you want, I'll take back my yes."

"Don't. I don't mind living there. It's a beautiful house and your home. It will have to be my home eventually. Why not make it my home now?"

"You are just as practical as me."

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"Until tonight then."

"Until dinner."


	6. Chapter 6

Mary and Matthew

"Matthew, come with me, we need to talk."

"Why, what is it? Mary, are you all right? You look pale."

"Pamuk just kissed me."

"What?"

"I didn't want it to happen. He followed me into the library. He overpowered me for a second and caught my wrists and pushed me into the shelves and kissed me."

"You need to tell your father. Pamuk has to leave."

"No. He is here for important peace talks. And he is the friend of a friend."

"If you are sure"

"Yes. But you can't go home tonight."

"Why not?"

"You have got to stay with me."

"What?"

"Pamuk said that he wants to come to my room tonight. I know he doesn't know where it is but only one servant needs be willing to be bribed. It's too dangerous."

"Can't you just lock your door?"

"What if he knocks? If you are with me you can tell everybody that I didn't invite him or encourage him."

"Mary, if we get caught.."

"If we get caught people will think that we were rather eager to start our lives together. We are getting married in less than two months anyway. The wedding wouldn't even be moved up."

"All right, I'll stay. But I'll stay officially. Mother wants to go home anyway. I'll sent her on her way and tell your parents that I want to stay and would like to sleep here. They won't object."

"No. But you'll come to me?"

"That is why I'm staying."

"Thank you Matthew. That means a lot to me."

"There you are."

"Here I am."

"You brought a book."

"Yes. I thought that maybe you'd want to sleep. Then I could read."

"What if I want to talk?"

"Then we'll talk."

"Would you prefer that?"

"I think so. But if you are tired"

"No, I'm not. Let's talk."

"All right."

"Are you scared, Matthew?"

"Of getting married? No. I'm glad we've made this decision. We'll do well together."

"I hope so. It still feels like a gamble to me."

"But the odds are good. If you didn't like me or trust me you wouldn't have asked me here tonight."

"No, I think not. I do trust you. It still feels surreal."

"It does. We are tying ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives."

"Matthew, promise me something."

"What?"

"If you do see the chance of love for us, please act on it. I know it's not likely to happen, but I want to have what my parents have."

"I came here tonight, didn't I? Why'd you think I'd do something like that?"

"To save my reputation. And yours."

"No. Don't get me wrong. I don't want your or my reputation ruined. But that's not why I am here. I am here because you were scared and I could make it better."

"Kiss me."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note

To those of you who asked: We won't see actual kissing in this story, but whenever someone says "Kiss me" to someone else it means that the kiss will happen (and maybe more, I leave that up to your imagination). The idea behind this story is that it is only told through conversation and I don't think that Mary and Matthew would actually talk about their kisses and neither would Mary talk about them to anyone else, especially not her parents. Except for a three or four lines in a later chapter, Mary, her parents, and Matthew are the only characters who are part of the conversations. I try not to go to much OOC with any of the characters (not sure how successful I am though), so I can't have them talk about kissing ;). Hope that's ok for you ;)

Jenwren: I have no ideas why your reviews show up so late, but I enjoy them anyway, so thank you very much!

* * *

June 1913 (The day of the wedding)

_Cora and Mary_

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes. Weren't you?"

"Yes. I was. Mary, if you have any questions about"

"No, I don't. I know what I need to know. And I don't want to hear anything about what you and Papa get up to at night. Or during the day when you are alone."

"It's not the only thing we do."

"I know. But I still don't want to hear about it."

"Let me give you another piece of advice then. Talk to Matthew. As much as you can. Even if you are mad at him. And if you've had a fight, and I don't mean your constant bickering about politics and literature, a serious fight, don't let it get the better of you. Talk about it. Find a way to make it better."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because it is the best advice I can give. For any kind of marriage. But especially for one like yours. I know that you don't want to be in a loveless marriage. And I think that you and Matthew have a real chance of not being in one."

"I'd like to believe that."

"Then do. Mary, believe in Matthew and you."

"I'll try."

"Good. I love you my darling girl. Good luck."

_Robert and Mary_

"Are you happy?"

"No. But I'm not unhappy either."

"That's better than nothing."

"Mama thinks that Matthew and I could be as happy as you are."

"I know. And I agree."

"Do you know everything that Mama thinks?"

"Not everything. But most of it. It's because we talk a lot."

"She said that I should talk to Matthew a lot."

"Yes. She's right."

"Hopefully."

"Yes. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Good luck Mary. I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

August 1913

Matthew and Mary

"We'll be home in half an hour."

"I know."

"Aren't you happy to see your parents and grandmother and sisters again?"

"You aren't really asking me if I am looking forward to seeing Edith, are you?"

"I suppose not. But you've missed the others. Maybe even Edith. Deep down."

"Very deep down. But being away was like being in a dream. Now that we are home everybody will expect great things of us."

"And what great things would that be?"

"Mainly producing a male child."

"There's no lack of trying."

"We won't have all of our time to ourselves anymore. I'll miss that."

"Really, Mary? Will you?"

"Why are you so surprised?"

"Because I had to propose to you more times than I can count."

"You can't count beyond two then."

"Mary, you know"

"I know. I am almost glad you were so insistent."

"Me too. Maybe this actually will work out."

"Maybe."

"Hopefully."

"Kiss me."


	9. Chapter 9

October 1913

_Mary and Matthew_

"Matthew, please."

"No Mary."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to spend a week at your aunt's house. I don't know her very well and I am not fond of London society either."

"You'll get to know her. She's nice, even if she keeps hording our food. And you'll have to get used to London society eventually. You'll be a peer one day."

"Yes. But I don't want to go dress shopping with you and your aunt. I once went with my mother. It was the most boring day of my life."

"You could stay home while we went shopping."

"Why should I come then?"

"To go to the theater with me? Spend some time with me? Get to know my favorite aunt?"

"She's your only aunt."

"That's why she's my favorite one."

"Mary, I don't mind you going by yourself, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes. And I'd certainly go by myself if it did bother you."

"So because it doesn't bother me if you want to spend a week in London with your favorite aunt, you want me to come. But if it did bother me, you'd go by yourself."

"Yes."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yes, it does. I don't have to make a point of my independence to you. You accept it. And if you didn't, I'd probably not like you enough to want you to come in the first place."

"You should be a lawyer, Mary."

"I am married to one."

"And as your husband, who is a lawyer, I am telling you, you'd be great."

"Thank you for the compliment. So will you come?"

"All right."

"Thank you. I love you."

"What?"

"Thank you. I love you."

"You do?"

"Yes. That's why I said it."

"When did you realize that?"

"The moment I said it I suppose."

"And you just blurt that out? Without thinking about it?"

"Well, yes. My father once said to me that I had inherited my mother tendency to voice almost every thought in her head. I think that's true."

"You can say that again."

"Does it bother you?"

"That you voice your thoughts?"

"That I said 'I love you'. Because I do. Love you."

"No, no it doesn't bother me."

"But it doesn't make you happy either."

"Mary, darling, I've been struggling with this for weeks. I've been trying to understand my feelings for you for some time now. And I've been pondering about how to talk to you about it. And you, the most rational person I know, just say it. Without giving it a thought."

"It's what I feel. You are my husband. I don't see why I should not tell you that I love you. You even have a right to know."

"What if I don't love you?"

"Then I shall have to make you love me."

"So it's that easy to you."

"Yes. But I don't think I have to make you love me, because I am rather sure that you already do."

"You are? Why?"

"Because you called me darling. And you wouldn't have done that if you didn't love me."

"As I said before, you'd be a great lawyer."

"So does that mean that you love me too?"

"Yes. It does. I love you."

"Kiss me."


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I've actually finished telling the story I had orginally planned in Chapter 9. But then I decided to take the story beyond Mary's and Matthew's declaration of love. I thought about posting everything after Chapter 9 as a sequel, but I decided against that because the sequel would be longer than the original story and I believe that it works this way as well. At least that's what I hope. This will go AU in one (or actually two) major plotlines in the coming chapters, so just a little warning for those of you who prefer to stick to the original story as much as possible.

Thanks for the lovely reviews, everyone!

* * *

June 1914

_Cora and Matthew_

"You can go up Matthew. Mary and the baby are fine."

"Thank you, I'll, I'll"

"You go upstairs, Matthew. Take care of your wife and child."

_Robert and Cora_

"He didn't even ask if it is a boy or a girl."

"It's a boy."

"My grandson will be my heir. After Matthew."

"Yes."

"Are you all right Cora?"

"Yes. It's just, my little girl has had a baby. I can hardly fathom it."

"It is a strange feeling. But a happy one. And there's finally a boy in the family."

"Would you have been disappointed if it had been a girl?"

"No, of course not. I am only relieved because the settling of the succession takes a lot of pressure of the family. But especially of Mary and Matthew. I felt compelled to hope for a boy every time you were pregnant, even if I truly didn't mind. I love our three girls."

"Yes."

"Cora, are you sure that you are alright?"

"What?"

"Are you sure that you are alright?"

"Yes, yes. Just a little tired. And might have to throw up."

"It's the stress of becoming a grandmother."

"Maybe."


	11. Chapter 11

July 1914

_Cora and Mary_

"I'm pregnant."

"What? Is this a joke?"

"No, it isn't."

"So I might get another little sister. Because two is not enough."

"You might get a little brother."

"I don't know what I would prefer."

"You don't?"

"I've already got two sisters."

"If this child is a boy you and Matthew and George will lose both title and estate."

"I know. That's why I'm not sure what I would prefer. But then again, if Edith or Sybil had been boys or if you had had a fourth child who was a boy much earlier, I'd have never had the chance of marrying the next Earl of Grantham."

"No, but you wouldn't have married Matthew then."

"I suppose not, because I don't think I'd have met him then. What a horrible thought."

"So you wouldn't mind being the wife of a lawyer for the rest of your life."

"In general I would. But since the lawyer we are talking about is Matthew, whom I love more than everything else in the world, I think that no, I wouldn't mind. Not very much at least. Should I tell Matthew about this? Or would you prefer to do it?"

"Your Papa is telling him right now."

"How did he take the news?"

"To say that he was shocked would be an understatement."

"Poor Papa."

"I was so shocked myself, I almost yelled at him. Although I had suspected for some time. But having it confirmed was a shock nonetheless."

"Are you happy? Both of you?"

"Yes and no. We are happy to have another child but we feel that we've betrayed you."

"You haven't betrayed me. And should this child indeed be a boy, I will love my little brother. Don't ever doubt that."

_Matthew and Mary_

"I suppose your mother has told you about the baby."

"Yes. George will be older than his youngest aunt."

"Or his uncle."

"Papa is not much good at making boys."

"He said the same thing to me. But what if it is boy?"

"Then I'll have a brother."

"Who will inherit. Everything."

"Yes."

"Doesn't that bother you?"

"Oh, yes Matthew, it bothers me. Very much. I want us to follow my parents and I want George to follow us."

"Did you tell your mother that?"

"No. She's pregnant. You don't upset a pregnant woman. What did Papa say to you?"

"That he felt oddly sorry about the whole thing. He said we could stay here as long as we want. And that he'd find a way to involve both of us here if we want, even if it is a boy."

"What would you want? If it was a boy?"

"I don't know. I think I'd feel out of place. And I would want to focus on my career as a lawyer then. Maybe in London."

"We could move there. I'm sure they'd let us have the house. We could easily live of my dowry and your income. George could still follow in your footsteps."

"Not as the Earl of Grantham."

"No. But as the most brilliant lawyer of his time."

"Would you be frustrated or disappointed if it turned out that you'd be a lawyer's wife for the rest of your life?"

"Since I'd be your wife, no."

"So you wouldn't regret marrying me. Even if your mother had a boy."

"Of course not. My mother having a boy would not change how I feel about you. I will love you regardless of whether I'll have little brother."

"You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Kiss me."


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I am not too happy with this one, it is a bit abrupt at the end, but then I didn't want to dwell on this for too long, so this is some sort of compromise.

* * *

July 1914

_Mary and Cora_

"Mama, don't move"

"What?"

"Don't move. Wait until I'm there."

"What? Mary, I'm in my bathroom, you can't just come in here."

"Hold on to me and be careful. Mama, please"

"All right, if it is that important to you."

"Steady now."

"Hand me my towel."

"There. Look under the tub. Do you see the line the soap made? You'd have slipped and probably hurt yourself very badly."

"Where's O'Brien?"

"I sent her away."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you're dressed. I don't want you to be cold."

"Mary, what is going on? How am I supposed to get dressed and have my hair done without O'Brien?"

"Anna will do it. I'll ask her to. She'll help you, don't worry."

"Why do you get to decide that?"

"If _I_ help you put on some clothes will you be patient enough to wait for me to tell you after that?"

"All right. But Mary,"

"Put this on. Please. I'll braid your hair."

"Thank you. Now tell me what is going on."

"It was O'Brien. She moved the soap. She wanted you to slip."

"No, Mary. You are making that up."

"I saw her move the soap."

"It must have been accident then."

"No. Anna told me that she planned some kind of revenge on you."

"Revenge? For what?"

"She thinks you are looking for a new lady's maid."

"I'm helping your granny look for one."

"But O'Brien doesn't now that. And because she think's she'll be sent packing, she's decided to hurt you. And the baby."

"No Mary, she would never do that."

"Yes, she would. Ask Anna. Anna would never make something like that up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Anna's my friend. She'd never lie to me, especially not about something like that."

"But I thought O'Brien was _my _friend."

"She's not Mama. She's not."

"What am I to do?"

"Send O'Brien away. Today. Anna can be both yours and my lady's maid for a while. She won't object. You've already got the applications for Granny's lady's maid. Maybe there's one that would suit you. But don't steal Anna."

"I doubt very much that Anna would let herself be stolen from you. Don't tell your father what O'Brien has done."

"Why not? He'd give her a proper dressing down."

"Yes. And he wouldn't stop thinking about what could have happened. I don't want to do that to him. So don't tell him. Promise me."

"I promise, Mama."


	13. Chapter 13

August 1914

_Matthew and Mary_

"I have to join the army."

"You have to do no such thing."

"Yes I do."

"Matthew, no. Please, no."

"Mary, we are at war. I have to fight."

"Then fight here. With me. We are good at that."

"That's not what I mean."

"Imagine you die."

"I won't die."

"How do you know that? Did they tell you that you didn't have to go the front? That's what they told my father when they sent him to South Africa. Ask him how that turned out."

"He wants to join the army too."

"They won't have him. He's too old."

"Probably."

"Hopefully. Maybe they'll find a reason not to take you either."

"I doubt it. And it's not what I would want."

"What about what I want? I don't want you in France, fighting a stupid a war. I want you here. With me and our child."

"Mary,"

"Suppose you do die. Do you want George to grow up without his father?"

"No, of course I don't."

"Then don't go to war."

"Most of the men going to war have families they don't want to leave."

"Most of those men aren't in line to be the next Earl of Grantham. You could get out on that count."

"No I couldn't. We've got an heir. And there's no getting out of it since I am about to volunteer. And besides, I am your father's heir now. Come November, I might not be anymore."

"Is that why you are doing this? Because my parents might have a son and you might lose Downton and the Earldom? You didn't want it in the first place. And we've already decided that we'll move to"

"We haven't decided anything Mary. You have made a suggestion. And this is not why I am going to volunteer. I believe in this war."

"Matthew please. Don't you care about George?"

"I care about him very much. Would you like him to grow up in an England ruled by the German Kaiser? Because I don't. So I have to fight to prevent it."

"I hate you Matthew. I hate you for this."

"You don't mean that."

"No, I don't. I love you. But I hate the decision you've made."

"I know and I understand. But please try to understand me too, darling."

"I'll try."

"Thank you, that's all I can ask."

September 1914

_Mary and Matthew_

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. More than anything. You and George."

"I'll write to you. Every day. I'll tell you about George, how he's doing."

"Thank you darling."

"I love you Matthew."

"I love you too Mary. I am thankful for every minute we've spent together in the past two and a half years. I am happier than I ever thought I'd be. You are sending me to war a happy man."  
"Come back alive and whole. And such good luck."

"Kiss me."


	14. Chapter 14

November 1914

_Mary and Robert_

"Papa, you can go up."

"What?"

"Mama's fine. The child as well."

"Is it"

"She wants to tell you herself. I am not taking that from her."

"I love you Mary. Don't forget that."

_Robert and Cora_

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. And so is our daughter."

"So it's another girl."

"Yes."

"Oh, thank God."

"Yes. Isn't that strange? That we've hoped for a boy for such a long time, and that now, when we were given a last chance, we both wanted it to be another girl?"

"I couldn't take it all away from Matthew."

"You love him like son, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Don't look so ashamed. It speaks very well of you that you do love him."

"Does it? Doesn't it mean that I've loved him more than my unborn child because"

"Robert. No, it doesn't mean that. You have loved this child from the moment I told you that we were having it. You just feel a responsibility towards a man you have come to love as your son. Your eldest son. And your feelings for Matthew wouldn't have changed if this little girl had been a boy. But it would have meant placing Matthew in a different position. And don't forget that I wanted this child to be a girl too."

"Because you didn't want to take anything away from Mary."

"Yes. But don't tell me that that wasn't on your mind as well. And I didn't want anything to be taken from Matthew either."

"But you don't love him like son."

"Robert, that is rather difficult for me, considering that his mother lives in the village. But I do love him. He's made Mary very happy, they have a lovely son and he will be a very good earl. Although I do not like to think about that last part."

"Then don't."

"Would you like to hold our daughter?"

_Mary and Robert_

"How are Mama and my baby sister?"

"Very well and fast asleep."

"Are you disappointed?"

"No, I am relieved. I wanted this child to be a girl. I think I am cut out to be the father of daughters."

"You are very good at it. At being the father of daughters I mean. But you are the father of a son too, you know."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes. Matthew loves you like a father."

"Does he?"

"Yes. And you love him like a son."

"How do you make that out?"

"Before he went to war, I saw the way Matthew looked at our son every day. You sometimes have the same look on your face when you look at him. Although you try to hide it. It's a look full of fatherly pride and hopes for the future."

"I hope I have that look on my face when I look at my other children too."

"It's a different look. When you look at us, there is always a little worry edged on your face. Don't get me wrong, it's rather endearing. It shows that you think you have to protect us. And that you will."

"Although three of my four daughters don't need my protection anymore. Especially not you."

"Because I've got Matthew to protect me now."

"No. Because you are the strongest woman I have ever met."

"Don't let Mama hear you say that."

"She'd agree with me. Mary, you are incredibly strong. The last few months must have been hard for you. Both for you and Matthew, but especially for you. I sometimes wonder how that little girl who used to beg me for stories at night so that she wouldn't have to go to sleep grew up to be you, to be so strong and independent."

"Maybe because that little girl one day realized that her parents' and her own life would have been much easier if she had been a boy. So she decided to be a young lady and a young gentleman at the same time to make her parents proud."

"Mary, don't ever say or think that again. Your mother and I have loved you since the day that we knew that we'd have you. We were always proud of you. And we never wanted you to be a boy."

"I know that Papa. I know you love me and I know you are proud of me. But you asked a question and I gave you an honest answer."

"Mary, I"

"No. Let's not talk about this anymore. I am happy that I am the way I am. Matthew needs an independent wife. He needs someone to argue with. He wouldn't have fallen in love with me if I wasn't exactly the way that I am. And that means more than anything to me."

"You have no idea how happy it makes that you and Matthew are so happy."

"Maybe I do. Let's talk about my baby sister. What are you going to name her?"

"What would you name her?"

"I am not going to tell you what name I would give to a girl. I'm afraid you'll steal it and I might need a name for daughter of my own one day."

"I hope that you do. Daughters are wonderful. I should know. I have four of them."


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Because the next chapters are all rather short I'll post three of them today.

* * *

_Mary and Matthew_

"I am so glad you are finally home. For how long will you stay?"

"Ten days."

"So you'll be here for George's birthday."

"Yes. I am really glad about that."

"So am I."

"Maybe by that time he won't scream every time I try to hold him"

"Matthew, he doesn't know you. He doesn't remember you. I talk to him about you every day, but he is just turning two, we can't expect him to understand. Don't take it personally."

"Julia doesn't scream every time I come near her. She's happy enough with me."

"She's my sister. She has to be."

"Don't joke about this darling, please."

"All right, I'm sorry. But truly, don't worry. It's not unusual for two year olds to scream when they are held by someone they don't know. And he'll get to know you, don't worry."

"I hope you are right."

"I know I am right. You will survive the war. Because I couldn't live without you. It's that simple."

"If only it was."

"Kiss me."


	16. Chapter 16

November 1916

_Robert and Mary_

"Mary, there is something I have got to tell you."

"Is it Matthew?"

"He's missing."

"No. That can't be true."

"I'm afraid it is."

"But he was supposed to come home today. He was supposed to stay here for five days. Mama and I wanted to celebrate Julia's birthday early so that he could be here for it. "

"I'm sorry Mary. They sent a telegram this morning. I've telephoned the war office and called in a few favors. They are doing what they can my dear."

"It is clearly not enough if they can't find him. They will find him, won't they?"

"Mary, as much as I would like to promise you this, I can't."

"What am I do?"

"Don't give up hope."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know. But if there is anything you need, whatever it is, come to your mother or me. Anytime, even the middle of the night."

"Maybe I should do that. I'd find you in the same place then."

"Mary, I"  
"Papa, don't. I know what you mean. And I will turn to you should I have the need of it. Thank you."

_Matthew and Mary_

"I was stuck behind enemy lines. I'm so sorry I gave you such a fright. I'll try not to do it again."

"I'd appreciate that."

"Oh Mary, I love you."

"I love you too. Kiss me."


	17. Chapter 17

January 1917

_Mary and Cora_

"Mama, do you have a minute?"

"Of course."

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh, Mary. That's …"

"What's the end to that sentence? Wonderful? Horrible?"

"It certainly isn't horrible."

"Easy for you to say. You aren't the one who will have to go through it alone, not knowing whether your husband will ever see his child."

"No, I am not. But I'll be here for you. And so will your father be."

July 1917

_Cora and Robert_

"Robert, please come upstairs with me."

"Is everything all right?"

"The baby is fine. And Mary is fine physically."

"That means that she is not fine in another aspect."

"She is very unhappy. She hasn't stop crying since the baby has been placed into her arms. I don't think I've ever seen anything so sad."

"How can we help her?"

"Robert, I wish I knew. I have never felt so helpless in my life. But I think that all we can do is support as much as we can. And tell her that we love her very much."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl."

"She wanted a girl. At least she got that."

"Don't say that to her. Promise me."

"I promise."

"Thank you darling."


	18. Chapter 18

October 1917

_Robert and Cora_

"I have to go to London the day after tomorrow."

"For how long?"

"Just two days. There is some business I have to take care of. You are wearing your coat. Where are you going an hour and a half before luncheon?"

"To the hospital. And I won't be back before this afternoon."

"If you aren't here for luncheon then I'll be all by myself."

"Why? Where are the girls?"

"Sybil's on duty and eating with the nurses and Edith and Mary are working on a charity project."

"Are they working on the same project?"

"I don't know. That is an interesting question. But I doubt it."

"So do I. If the girls are all gone I'd have you to myself for luncheon if I made it back on time."

"You just said that wouldn't be possible."

"It will be difficult. But the incentive is a rather good one."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is. Robert, I can't promise I'll be back in time for luncheon, but I'll try."

"Thank you for that."

"There you are."

"Yes. I think some of the hospital staff are rather angry at me for cutting my visit so short but there was nothing I could do about that. I told them I had an appointment at the house. It wasn't a lie, strictly speaking."

"No. Anyway, I'm glad you made it back in time."

"Me too. It was worth the rush. I haven't had you all to myself in the middle of the day for longer than I care to think about. And I'm always so tired at night that we don't really get to talk then either."

"You are tired. You sleep like a stone."

"Robert, do you think that it is all a bit much? I mean have we bitten of more than we can chew?"

"You mean by turning our house into a convalescent home? It was your idea."

"It was Sybil's idea, or probably Isobel's, but you are right, I fought for it too. In general I think that it was right to support the war effort this way. But we are doing it on top of having two three year olds and a newborn in the house."

"Cora, you and Mary are running this house in an exemplary way. It was a good idea to transfer Isobel's tasks to Mary. She is much happier now."

"But doesn't that ever bother you? That your wife and eldest daughter are running your house while you mind the children?"

"It used to bother me. But if you look at it, the tasks you are doing to run this house at the moment are not really comparable to the tasks of running the estate and those have become far and few between with all the men in France. And someone has to oversee the upbringing of the children. Why should I not do it? I am taking care of the upbringing of my heir in absence of his father. That would have been my task anyway. And if I am taking care of my grandson I might just as well take care of my daughter and granddaughter."

"Robert, I"

"No, Cora. It is all right. I am glad that the children have fallen to me. I'd feel like a useless fool otherwise. The guiding of George gives me a purpose. Julia follows him everywhere. I couldn't tell my daughter to go away. She'll turn only three next month, she wouldn't understand. And I love her, so I don't feel a need to send her away. Although Nanny keeps complaining that she behaves like a boy. She told me I wasn't to take her with me anymore when I took George out on the estate. She said she didn't understand anyway why a three year old would have to learn about the estate. I told her that George needed to learn to love the estate, and the best way to do it was for his father to show him the estate and spend a lot of time with him that way. Since George's father isn't here to do that, his grandfather has to do it."

"You are right but I suppose Nanny wasn't pleased."

"No. She asked me if playing in the mud was part of George learning to love the estate. And should the answer be yes, which she couldn't imagine, if it was absolutely necessary to take the young lady with us. I said that is was."

"So you've been playing in the mud."

"No. I took George to the pond. He saw a puddle and jumped into it. Before I could stop her, Julia had jumped in too. They were dirty anyway, so what was I supposed to do? And I really do believe that memories like that will help George love the estate. They've certainly helped me. And what's more, those children need to learn that there is more to the world than wounded officers. If I can't help the young generation by fighting in the war, I can at least help them by showing them that war is not everything."

"Robert, I love you. I know I don't say it often enough but I do. I love you so very much."

"I … "

"There's no servant around. Carson has left. You can say it."

"I love you too. Come to London with me. I won't be busy all day. Please."

"Yes. Kiss me."


	19. Chapter 19

October 1917

_Cora and Mary_

"I wanted to ask you a favor."

"What is it?"

"Would you mind running the house by yourself for two days?"

"No. But why?"

"I want to go to London with your father. We haven't really spent any time together for such a long time and I miss him."

"He misses you too. Go there for a whole week. Stay with Aunt Rosamund. Or better yet, stay in a hotel, you won't have to put up with her then. I'll take care of everything. I'll even take George and Julia out on the estate."

"Mary, thank you, but we can't leave you alone like that."

"I am not alone. I'm sure that Sybil is willing to help and I wouldn't even be too surprised if Edith was willing too. Wouldn't you do the same for me if Matthew was here on leave for a week?"

"Mary, are you sure?"

"Yes I am. Just make sure you are back for my baby sister's birthday. If you weren't I'd have to get very angry with you on her behalf."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world."


	20. Chapter 20

AN: This story is almost at its end. There are only five more chapters to come, the two I am posting today and then three more I will post tomorrow. But I have been getting so much positive feedback on this story and so many views (over 10.000, I can hardly believe it) that I have been thinking about taking it past June 1919 where it actually ends. I have to think about it though and plan the story very carefully because I'd have to go AU in at least one more (and rather major) plot element. Maybe even two. And I wouldn't really know where and how to end it, but maybe I can think of something. There are two other stories I am working on at the moment and I will start to post the first one on Sunday probably. Should I decide to take 'Kiss Me' further there will most likely be a short break between the update tomorrow and the one to follow that.

Anyway, thank you so much for the feedback and the many, many views!

Kat

* * *

March 1918

Cora and Mary

"Mary, darling, wake up."

"What is it? Oh my God, there's bad news. Tell me. Please."

"Matthew's been injured. They are bringing him here. To the hospital."

"How bad is it? Will he live? When will he arrive?"

"I don't know the answer to any of your questions. Your father is telephoning the war office right now, but I am not sure if he will actually get to talk to someone. It's the middle of the night."

Mary and Matthew

"Wake up darling. Please. Matthew. Matthew. Please."

"Mary. Oh God, Mary."

"How are you my darling?"

"I don't know. I can't feel my legs."

"You've been here for less than 24 hours. Don't worry."

"I am worried. Tell me Mary, what is going on?"

"Matthew, I"

"Oh no. Oh no. I've lost the use of my legs. Haven't I? Mary, say something. Say something."

"Yes. But you've survived the war."

"Who cares about that?"

"Your mother does. My parents do. My granny does. My sisters do. I do. Our children do."

"Our children? A boy I haven't seen for a year and who probably doesn't remember me and a girl I have never seen at all. Neither one of my children know who I am. Maybe that's better."

"No Matthew, it isn't. George may not really know what to do with you when he sees you but he knows who you are. I've talked about you every day. And Lizzie will get to know you."

"The person she'll get to know is a good-for-nothing cripple."

"No. The person she will get to know is her father who loves her very much. Don't tell me you don't love our daughter."

"I've never seen her."

"That can be rectified. I'll telephone my parents and tell them to bring her. They are coming here anyway."

"No. I can't avoid your parents I suppose, but I don't want to see the girl."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't be a good father to her."

"Because you won't be able to walk? Do you think his ability to walk is why I love my father? I love him because he has taken care of me for as long as I can remember. He is always there for me. He loves my mother and my sisters. He only wants the best for me. Those are the reasons a girl loves her father. Not because he can walk. And George will feel the same."

"I doubt it."

"And I don't. And you will see Lizzie. Today. And you will hold her. I won't discuss this."

…

"Meet your daughter, Matthew."

"No."

"Yes. Look at her."

"No."

"Matthew Crawley, look at your daughter."

"She looks like you."

"Yes. But she has your eyes. Wait until she opens them. It will take your breath away. Here."

"No Mary, I can't hold her."

"Yes you can. There. Steady. You see? You can hold her."

"Mary," I "  
"Didn't I tell you she would take your breath away?"

"I'm sorry Mary. I'm so sorry. I love her. Of course I do."

"I knew that. Even if you didn't."

"And I love you too."

"Kiss me."


	21. Chapter 21

June 1918

_Matthew and Mary_

"Do you think he really is Patrick Crawley?"

"No. I meant what I said in the sitting room. He must be an imposter."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes.

"What makes you so sure?"

"What I said. Every memory he has of his childhood here with us is, I don't know, exchangeable. We had a governess we didn't like but that is not unusual. We celebrated birthday parties by the pond. That isn't unusual either as you can see by your idea to have a party for George down there. He remembers the Grecian temple the moment he sees it. If you took me to Manchester pointed at a building to me and told me that's where you used to live, I could claim to know it and just point out a few prominent features of the building. That is all he does. And then there is the fact that the real Patrick Crawley did not like Edith. Not at all. But I couldn't say that in front of her. She's been telling herself for years that had Patrick survived, she would be in my position now. Just not with you but with Patrick. But that is utter rubbish. He didn't love me either, but he almost hated Edith."

"You should tell your father."

"I'd much rather not. He loved Patrick. Not as a son, but as a very dear cousin he felt responsible for. It would break his heart. I'll tell him only if I really have to."

"Should he turn out to be Patrick"

"I will still love you and not regret marrying you."

"Kiss me."

_Cora and Robert_

"Do you think it's Patrick?"

"No. Something about him doesn't sit right with me. I don't know what it is."

"What would you do if it was Patrick?"

"What could I do? We'd have to accept him back. The question is what would we do with Matthew? I can't stop thinking about it. If this fellow turns out to be Patrick, everything will be taken away from Mary and Matthew. I know we've faced this thought before, but then it would have been because of our own son, not because of a cousin we haven't seen in six years."

"Even if it was Patrick, you'd still prefer Matthew to be your heir."

"Yes. Wouldn't you?"

"Yes. And not just because of Mary. I love Matthew as much as you do."

"Kiss me."


	22. Chapter 22

September 1918

_George and Matthew_

"Papa, will you read to me?"

"If you want me to."

"Please. Can I sit on your lap?"

"Yes."

"Thank you Papa, I love you."

"I love you too. But please stop bouncing. It hurts."

"Where does it hurt?"

"My legs."

"I am so sorry Papa. Papa, don't cry, I didn't want to hurt you, I promise."

"Go, find your Mama and bring her here. I think she's in the sitting room. Please."

"I am sorry Papa, I am sorry."

"Don't be George. You haven't done anything wrong. Get your Mama, please."

_Mary and Matthew_

"What is it? George said you asked me to come here. But he was so upset he was hardly coherent. He is sorry for something. What has he done?"

"Nothing, I think he misunderstood. I'll talk to him. He asked me to read to him and he sat down on my lap and he kept bouncing and it hurt Mary. It hurt my legs."

"It hurt your legs?"

"Yes. And I've been thinking that I could feel something for a few weeks. I asked Dr. Clarkson about it and he says its nothing but this wasn't nothing. I am sure."

"So am I."

"Why?"

"Because you've kicked me in your sleep. Last night and two nights before. I didn't want to say anything before you didn't feel anything. I didn't want to give you hope when there may not be any. But now there is Matthew."

"Kiss me."


	23. Chapter 23

April 1919

_Mary and Robert_

"How is Mama?"

"Not well. She's got the Spanish Flu."

"Oh no. Will she"

"Clarkson doesn't know. Mary, how am I to get through this?"

"With our help. Matthew will read the children their bedtime stories. I'll go and check on them in a moment. You go to Mama. Talk to her, even if she can't hear you. I'll come to Mama's room as soon as I've said goodnight to the children. We can talk about Sybil then if you want to."

"Thank you."

"I gave Julia a kiss goodnight from you. Matthew will read to the children until they are asleep. We don't want them to know that something is not right."

"Thank you."

"How's Mama?"

"Worse. Her temperature is rising and she has trouble breathing."

"I can come back later if you want."

"No. Stay. Please."

"Do you want to talk about Sybil?"

"Why is she doing that? Why would she want to marry a chauffeur?"

"Because she loves him."

"How can she?"

"He is nice and very intelligent, we all know that. He believes in the equality of men and women. They have a lot in common. And he's not a chauffeur anymore."

"So you think she should marry him."

"If she really loves him, and I'm afraid she does, then yes. It may not be what you wanted for her but it is what she wants."

"You sound like your mother."

"I am her daughter."

"I wish I could talk to her."

"Talk to me."

"I feel like I've lost Sybil. I didn't feel I had lost you when you got married."

"I married the man you wanted me to marry. And I stayed here. Sybil will move to Dublin."

"Where will they live?"

"That probably depends on how much support you are willing to give them."

"You mean how much money."

"Yes. Papa, Sybil is who she is. But she loves her family with all her heart. She does not do this to upset you or Mama or anyone else. You have to believe that."

"I do."

"Then accept that she will marry Tom."

"So he's Tom to you too?"

"He will be my brother-in-law. I might just as well call him Tom. And don't worry. Matthew's promised to give him the 'older brother' talk. If you give him the 'father talk', poor Tom will be so scared, he won't even dare to dream of doing anything less than worshipping Sybil."

"You think he's a good man."

"Yes. But if you aren't sure, wait for Matthew's report. He'll cross-examine him."

"I wouldn't want to be at the wrong end of one of Matthew's cross-examinations."

"No. It is not a very pleasant experience. He'll get everything out of you. Matthew will be able to tell you what exactly Tom's plans are."

"I wonder what we would do without Matthew."

"I'd be miserable. And we'd all be lost."

"We would be. I am glad you are so happy with him."

"We are wonderfully happy. Just like you and Mama."

"Mary, promise me something. If your mother doesn't make it through"

"Papa, please"

"Hear me out. Promise me that if your mother doesn't make it through, you will help me with Julia. Because I couldn't raise her by myself."

"I will. I promise. But I don't think you will have to hold me to that promise."

"I pray to God that I don't."

_Robert and Cora_

"A sight to gladden my heart."

"You are charming."

"You cannot fathom how relieved I am that you are fully awake again. There were moments when I thought I'd lost you."

"You didn't lose me. I'm still here."

"If it hadn't been for Mary, Matthew, Edith and Sybil I'd have gone mad with worry. They kept me relatively sane."

"So you've made your peace with Sybil then."

"Yes. Mary said what you said. And Matthew cross-examined Tom and came to the conclusion that he is a good man who only has Sybil's best interest at heart. His interests are her interests. So there is no arguing with that."

"I'm glad. So will we go to Dublin for the wedding?"

"Yes."

"Thank you darling. I love you."

"I love you too."


	24. Chapter 24

June 1919

_Mary and Matthew_

"Happy sixth anniversary my darling."

"And to you too."

"We've come a long way."

"Yes."

"You have no idea how glad I am you didn't accept 'no' for an answer."

"I think I do. I am just as glad as you are."

"We both got what we wanted in the end."

"A title and an estate that aren't really ours yet?"

"Matthew, be serious. Yes, we got that and I hope that the "aren't really ours yet" part will stay true for many years to come. You know that I wanted what my parents have. I got that as well."

"We did find love after all."

"Yes. Kiss me."

* * *

AN: This is it for now. Thanks for the reviews, views, auther alerts, story alerts and favorites! They make my day.

I have decided that I will take this a little further, which is why this last chapter is so short and abrupt. I've got some ideas for continuation of this story but I will have to plan it very carefully, so it might take a few days until I will be able to post the next chapter. Possibly, the first thing I'll do is change this chapter, but I'll let you know.

Regardless of when I'll start posting new chapters to this story, I'll start posting a new story tomorrow. It's called "No Right to Be Unhappy" and the starting point of it is that Cora sees Robert and Jane kiss in the library. It is mixture of conversation and stream of consciousness but with a focus on soc. (Yes, yes I know, it sounds like second version of "Weeks, Maybe Months" but it is different, at least I think so :)).

Thanks for sticking with me and everything else again!


	25. Chapter 25

AN: I made it just on time!

* * *

November 1919

_Cora and Robert_

"Sybil's asking if she and Tom can come for Christmas and New Year's Eve."

"Hm."

"Please Robert. What harm can it do?"

"People will talk."

"They talk anyway. But won't inviting them here for Christmas show that there is nothing to talk about?"

"Maybe"

"I miss Sybil."

"I miss her too."

"Then let's invite them for Christmas. Have all our children here."

"Hm."

"We went there for the wedding. You walked her down the aisle. Why can't we invite them here for Christmas?"

"Because it will be uncomfortable to have Tom here when my mother and my sister will be here too."

"But that isn't our fault. Or Sybil's or Tom's. It's Mama and Rosamund who might feel uncomfortable. I'll talk Tom into wearing tails for both Christmas and New Years Eve."

"It will be uncomfortable for the servants as well. They will have to serve him but they won't like it. Especially not Carson."

"But what can we do about that? Never invite Tom here because it might make the servants uncomfortable? Tom is a member of this family. Should he ever have children, and I dearly hope so, his children will be our grandchildren. I understand and appreciate that you worry about the feelings of the servants. But it shouldn't come at the price of not inviting our son-in-law here."

"All right then."

"Thank you. I know you are doing this for me."

"There isn't much I wouldn't do for you."

"Kiss me."

_Matthew and Mary_

"Tom and Sybil are coming for Christmas."

"Are they?"

"Well, Tom has written that Sybil will ask your mother which amounts to the same fact."

"Yes. I am looking forward to it."

"Me too. I miss Tom."

"I should think so. You and Tom write more letters to each other than Sybil and I."

"Well, we both married Crawley sisters."

"I think you two have more in common than that."

"Yes. We are both outsiders in this family. Outsiders who have been welcomed nonetheless. Although Tom hasn't really been welcomed by your father, has he?"

"No. But Papa will come around. He's already half way there. If he wasn't he wouldn't have walked Sybil down the aisle."

"True. And if he can't do that last bit of turning by himself your mother will make him."

"Yes. She has a way of making him see things differently. It's because she is what his world revolves around. He listens to her more than to everyone else. And I think it is the other way around as well."

"It is. And it is the same for us, isn't it?"

"Kiss me."


	26. Chapter 26

December 1919

_Cora and Robert_

"You look flustered."

"I am flustered."

"What are you thinking about?"

"That we have too many children."

"Why do you think so?"

"Look at that pile of presents."

"They aren't only for the girls."

"No. They are for their husbands and children as well. And only half of them are married. Imagine what it will be like when all of them are married."

"Julia is six. She won't be married for some time"

"I know. But we thought that about Mary too once. And now she is married and the mother of two children."

"Three soon, I think."

"Is she pregnant again?"

"She hasn't said anything yet but I think so. She's stopped drinking wine for dinner and I just have a feeling that she is having another baby."

"Is it your mother's intuition that is telling you that?"

"Yes."

"Then she is pregnant. You are always right about our girls."

"Not always. Often."

"More often than me."

"I am their mother, they are my daughters."

"Do you think that makes a difference? That they are girls?"

"In this case yes. You are much better with Matthew than me or even Isobel. And it doesn't bother me. Or her. In fact I think she is rather glad that he's got some sort father figure in his life. And you are a very good father for our girls."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Look at what Mary, Edith and Sybil have become. They are strong independent women with good heads on their shoulders and their hearts in the right place. And Julia will be just like that."

"They aren't what they are because of me."

"No. They are what they are because of us."

"They aren't what I thought they would be. The older three I mean."

"Of course they are not. But children seldom turn into the adults their parents imagined them to be. Just ask my mother."

"I won't. She will give me a speech about having turned you into an aristocratic snob."

"Then ask yours."

"I won't do that either. She still hasn't gotten over the fact that I didn't marry a woman from the English aristocracy."

"It's only been 31 years. We should give her more time."

"31 very happy years."

"Yes."

"Cora, you know I was joking when I said that we have too many children, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. Because that is certainly not what I think. And I am very glad that they will all be here for Christmas. "

"We have to go outside. Tom and Sybil will be here in a few minutes."

"Good."


	27. Chapter 27

Christmas Eve 1919

_Robert and Mary_

"Mary, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Are you pregnant?"

"What? What has Mama promised you to ask me that question?"

"Why do you think that your mother is behind this?"

"Because you would never ask a question like that on your own accord. I think it must be rather good."

"What must be rather good?"

"Whatever Mama has promised you. I'll ask her what it was. Maybe I can use it on Matthew."

"If I were you I wouldn't ask her."

"Why?"

"Because she might actually tell you. I don't know. I am never sure when it comes to your mother."

"You've been married to her for 31 years."

"I know."

"Why would it be bad if she told me?"

"I don't think you"

"Oh dear God, I don't want to know anymore."

"So are you pregnant?"

"I am not telling you."

"That means you are pregnant."

"I haven't told anyone yet. Not even Matthew. And I wanted him to be the first to know."

"You haven't told me either. Your Mama said that she thought you were pregnant a few days ago."

"Don't mention it to Matthew, please?"

"I won't. And I'll tell your Mama not to say anything either. But you shouldn't keep it from Matthew for too long."

"No. I am telling him tonight. After everyone's gone to bed. It'll be my Christmas present for him. He's been talking about us having another child for some time now and I think he's been worried."

"About what?"

"That it wouldn't be possible. Because of his injury. I told him not to worry, but you know him. I think that it will make him very happy."

"Are you happy?"

"I am over the moon about it. And it's the first time there is no nagging thought at the back of my mind that tells me that I should hope for either a boy or a girl. We needed George to be a boy and I desperately wanted Lizzie to be a girl. Now that we have the set it really isn't important anymore. It is a very nice feeling."

"I suppose it is."

"Oh, Papa. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't apologize Mary. I am very happy for you. You are my darling girl."

"One of your four darling girls I hope."

"Of course."

_Mary and Matthew_

"I'm pregnant."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh Mary. You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"Be careful. Put me down. You're making me dizzy."

"I love you. So much."

"I love you too."

"When should we tell the family?"

"Let's tell George and Lizzie tomorrow morning. And the rest of the family at lunch."

"What if George and Lizzie tell someone before lunch?"

"Then we'll have to live with it. My parents know anyway. I haven't told them, they guessed."

"You mean your mother guessed and told your father."

"Yes. You know my parents well."

"I've been living with them for more than six years."

"Four of which you spent in the trenches."

"Let's not talk about that. It's Christmas. We are having another baby. Let's think about that."

"Kiss me."


	28. Chapter 28

New Year's Day 1920

_Robert and Cora_

"What do you make of Rosamund's 'beau' to use Mary's words?"

"I am not so sure. He seems nice enough."

"But you are not sure that he _is_ nice."

"I am not sure that he is, I don't know, genuine."

"You mean you are not sure that he is in love with her."

"What do you know about his financial situation?"

"You think he is not so much interested in my sister as he is interested in her money."

"I am not sure. I can't point my finger to it."

"You think he is a fortune hunter."

"I think he might be. And if he is, Rosamund doesn't know."

"I had to invite him back for the shooting anyway. Rosamund's practically forced me to do it. Maybe Mama will have found something out by then."

"You can always count on your mother to find out the unpleasant things."

"Yes. Maybe Matthew should ask a few pointed questions as well."

"I don't envy Hepworth. Throwing him to your mother and Matthew borders on cruelty."

"You think it's too cruel?"

"No. I said it borders on cruelty. But it should be done nonetheless. No woman should marry a fortune hunter without knowing what she is getting herself into."

"You married a fortune hunter."

"Yes, but I knew what you were right from the start. And that was different because I was hunting for something too."

"I think Rosamund is hunting for company."

"Maybe. And if Hepworth is the right man for her then it doesn't matter if he is a fortune hunter. But she should make her decision carefully. Not everybody can be as lucky as me."

"No. I am much better than Hepworth."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I was smart enough to secure you as early as possible. Hepworth wanted you too I think. Everybody wanted you."

"Not everybody."

"Every fortune hunter then. You had more than enough money, were incredibly beautiful and most importantly rather smart. And all of that still holds true."

"The money is yours now."

"In a way. But you are still beautiful and smart."

"You proposed a lot earlier than I had expected."

"I'm glad I did. And I'm glad you were too surprised to reject me."

"I thought you were making a joke."

"I wasn't. All I said was true. I thought we'd do well together.

"You underestimated us. And so did I."

"Thankfully."

"Kiss Me."

"No."

"What?"

"We are late for lunch. Or we will be if we don't go downstairs right now."

"Kiss me after lunch then."

"We'll see."

"You are a cruel man, Lord Grantham."

"Yet you still love me."

"How do you know?"

"You want to kiss me. And my wife would never want to kiss a man she doesn't love."

"True."

"Cora, we have to go downstairs. We have guests."

"You are the Earl of Grantham, you can be late for lunch even if you have guests."

"Darling, I love you. Very much. But I will not be late for lunch. I'll make up for it later. I promise."

"We might be late for dinner then."

"No, we won't be. Dinner is at 8:30 today, that's enough time I should think. I might even be able to talk to Matthew about Hepworth before dinner. I think that would be a good idea. Well, I'll catch him in the library; he always goes in there first when it's white tie."

"You mean when your mother is coming over."

"And his. It warrants a drink before going anywhere near the dining room."

"Now we really are late for lunch. Let's go."


	29. Chapter 29

January 1920

_Robert and Mary_

"So Rosamund's beau is a fortune hunter."

"The worst kind I'm afraid. Really, going at it with the lady's maid in his room."

"How did she react? Rosamund I mean."

"She said she hates it when Granny is right."

"She does."

"I've been thinking. Maybe Matthew and I should go to London with her for a few days. So she won't be lonely then."

"Or she could stay here for a while."

"Won't Mama mind?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask her, won't I?"

"Yes. You better not invite your sister to stay here without asking Mama first."

"I'm sure she'll say yes. She feels quite sorry for your aunt."

"She is so American. She always feels sorry for everyone."

"And you don't feel sorry for your aunt?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mary, you just offered to go to London with her just so that she wouldn't be lonely. You hate London at this time of year."

"Well maybe."

"You are more 'American' as you call it than you think."

"I am not American."

"No. But you are like your mother in most regards."

"I am afraid I am."

"I am glad you are. You weren't always like that."

"No."

"Matthew has brought that side out in you."

"Yes, he has."


	30. Chapter 30

_Matthew and Robert_

"Robert, we need to talk."

"What about?"

"Money."

"Why?"

"You asked me to have a look at the finances of the estate."

"Yes. It's time you got a little more involved. You've been married to Mary for almost seven years now. The estate will be yours one day."

"Yes. You have to pull your money out of that railroad investment in Canada."

"What?"

"They might go bankrupt. If you get the money out now, you won't have lost anything or at least not much. But if you don't then you'll lose all of it."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. Do it. I know what I am talking about. And if you don't believe me call Murray. He'll tell you the same. You'll lose all of Cora's fortune if you don't act now. Best do it today."

"Matthew, that is not why asked you to get involved. To tell me what to do."

"Well, consider it well meant advice then."

"What do you know about managing estates?"

"I've learned quite a lot over the last few years. You've been a good teacher. But I think I know more about business than you do. And I am telling you, get the money out now."

"But won't that speed up the bankruptcy?"

"Most likely yes. But better a fast bankruptcy without much money lost than a slow one with all of the money lost."

"I'll talk to Murray."

"That's all I ask."


	31. Chapter 31

June 1920

_Mary and Cora_

"Is there anything I can do for Edith? I know she doesn't particularly like me, but"

"I am sorry Mary, but maybe you best leave her alone. Both you and Sybil. Don't take it personally. But it hurts Edith to see you at the moment. Happily married and pregnant. Both her older and younger sister."

"Maybe you should send Julia to talk to her."

"What can a five year old say to her?"

"I don't know. What Julia says is unpredictable anyway. But she has gift of making people happy."

"Yes she does. Maybe you are right. And she is her only unmarried sister."

"Best not send her in in her bride's maid's dress though. Maybe you should put her into her riding clothes. She looks so cute in those britches."

"I do not thank you for giving George's old riding clothes to her. She is too old to wear boy's clothes."

"Mama, Sybil and I wear britches too when we go riding. It is just so much more comfortable. And you have more control over the horse that way. And before you threaten me with talking Lizzie into wearing britches when she is five, I'll do it myself."

"You know that Julia wants to wear those britches because she wants to be like you."

"She wants to wear them because she wants to be like George."

"That is not true. George is her friend; you and Sybil are her idols. She talks about you all the time."

"Then you better tell her not to talk about Sybil or me too much when you send her to Edith."

"I will. I think she's playing with the kittens in the stables right now. She'll talk about the kittens. She wants one. And she will bully your father into allowing her to get one. And then there will be fights between the kitten and Isis. I have to tell you father to brace himself to withstand her."

"Good luck, Mama."

"You don't think I'll be successful?"

"No. Julia has Papa wrapped around her little finger."

"So do I, don't forget that."

"I am still betting on Julia. When you get her, would you get George and Lizzie too? I think they are down there as well and I wouldn't have to go myself that way. And Matthew's busy with Papa. I don't know what they can be talking about right now, but apparently it's business."

"Would you like me to tell Nanny to get them changed?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Mary, if you would like me to take George and Lizzie of your hands until the new baby is here, I'll do so gladly."

"Thank you. I'll think about it. I will. I promise."

"All right darling. I'll get the children then."

_Robert and Matthew_

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me pull the money out of the railway investment. You were right. The company went bankrupt."

"You are welcome then."

"Matthew, I wanted to ask you something. By telling me what you think about the investment you have saved this estate. No, don't deny it. It's the truth. You know more about law and business than I ever will. So I thought that you might want to take a more active role in the management of the estate."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I am. If I had had a son your age I would have involved him long ago. You are my heir. And you know what you are doing. So if you are willing"

"Yes. I am willing to take a more active role."


	32. Chapter 32

AN: I am trying my best to incorporate the development of the characters and the change in the relationships between the different characters into this story. Especially the changing relationship between Matthew and Robert and Robert's self-doubts. I am not sure how successfull I am. I hope it doesn't turn out to be just OOC because it gets really difficult as we are about to go beyond what has been shown on TV.

* * *

August 1920

_Matthew and Robert _

"Robert, you have to help Tom."

"I don't have to do anything."

"Yes, you do. For Sybil. For the family. It would be such a scandal"

"Since when do you care about scandals?"

"I don't want my children's names to be dragged through the mud. If Sybil is turned into some kind of martyr"

"Do you think that would happen?"

"Yes, it would. And that would be something that this family would not get rid of easily."

"Maybe you are right. But what am I supposed to say to the home secretary?"

"I have no idea."

"You are the lawyer."

"You are the Earl."

"Maybe you should come with me."

"If you want me to I will."

"We'd have to leave tomorrow morning on the six o'clock. You'd have to leave Mary and the baby."

"I think they are in capable hands. Cora will take good care of them and I wouldn't be surprised if my mother came here the moment she heard I was gone. She likes to make a fuss."

"That is true. We'll probably have to stay the night. Maybe even two nights. He might not be able to see us right away."

"I know. But I'll go with you."

"Thank you Matthew. I appreciate it."

_Matthew and Mary_

"I have to go to London with your father."

"I thought he might ask you to come with him. It's a good idea, I think."

"I don't like to leave you and Jamie. Especially not after those complications. And he is still so small. Smaller than normal. But I think I don't have a choice. Your father would like to have a lawyer with him."

"He trusts you more than he trusts Murray."

"Maybe."

"I am sure. He's proud of you."

"Maybe."

"I am sure. What do you think will happen to Tom?"

"I don't know. Maybe we can make a deal with the home secretary. They might let Tom go if he never goes back to Ireland. Something like that. We'll see. We don't really have much to bargain with."

_Cora and Robert_

"So will you go to London?"

"Yes. Matthew's convinced me. He's coming with me."

"I think that's a good idea."

"Cora, I"

"What is it?"

"I am not sure that what I am doing for the estate and the family is right anymore. I made a risky financial investment a while ago and if Matthew hadn't told me in no uncertain terms that I had to pull the money out, we might very well have been ruined now. I didn't want to go to London, Matthew talked me into it. And I know that he is right."

"Then trust him. You've asked him to take a more active role for a reason. He has a different view of things and it will be good for the estate and the family."

"But doesn't that make me useless?"

"No. You have lived on this estate, with the knowledge of the responsibility of being the Earl your whole life. That is something that Matthew never experienced. And something that he still needs a lot of guidance in, I think. He sometimes only sees the business aspects of running the estate. And that is important. But seeing the other aspects as well is equally important."

"I wouldn't know what to do without you."

"Then be glad that you've got me."

"I'll miss you. Even if I'll be gone for only a few days."

"I can't come with you. Not with Mary just having had the baby early and Sybil about to have her baby within the next four weeks. At least the baby will be born here and not in Dublin. But I'll miss you too."

"Kiss me."


	33. Chapter 33

August 1920

_Cora and Robert_

"I'm glad you saved Tom. Even if he can't go back to Ireland."

"Maybe that's for the better. The child will be born here and his or her future will be much brighter growing up here."

"So you think they will stay here?"

"I hope so. Sybil might want to. I think that her life in Dublin agreed less with her than she thought it would. Matthew will talk to Tom about staying here. He thinks it would be best too. At least for the time being."

"I'm glad you are home. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

_Matthew and Mary_

"Tom will never be allowed to go back to Ireland."

"You don't know that."

"True. But that's what the situation is right now."

"Will they stay here?"

"I hope so. I'll talk to Tom. I'd like to have him around. And you wouldn't mind having Sybil around, would you?"

"No."

"Tell her to stay then."

"After the baby has been born. She wants the child to be born here anyway."

"It's for the best I think."

"Yes"

"How's Jamie been?"

"Very well. His siblings love him. Lizzie loves not being the youngest anymore."

"I bet she does."


	34. Chapter 34

September 1920

_Cora and Robert_

"Those were the longest 24 hours of my life."

"Yes."

"I thought she wouldn't make it."

"Yes."

"Thankfully Dr. Clarkson knew what to do."

"Yes."

"I'm glad that Matthew told Tom to send the Sybil to the hospital right away. But he knew what he was doing. Jamie was born there too."

"Yes."

"Robert, what is going on with you?"

"I would not have sent her to the hospital. I would have let her stay here. If you and Matthew and Mary and Edith hadn't been so insistent, Sybil would be dead by now."

"Don't think about that anymore. We were insistent, yes. But we had good reason to. You weren't here when Jamie was born. But the rush to the hospital with him coming so quickly and a month early was just horrible. That's why we were so eager to get Sybil there as soon as possible. Had you been here for Jamie's birth, you'd have insisted on Sybil going to the hospital right away."

"I hope you are right."

"I am."

"Still, I can't get over the fact that I would have trusted Tapsell over Clarkson."

"Robert, don't beat yourself over the head with it. You argued for what you thought was best."

"But it wouldn't have been best. It would have led to the worst possible outcome."

"But it didn't."

"Because you overruled me."

"You let yourself be overruled. Not many men in your position would have given in."

"I thought you were trying to make me feel better, not worse."

"I am trying. Don't you see? If you weren't who you are, if you hadn't taught our daughters to speak their minds, if you hadn't encouraged Matthew to take over responsibility for this family too, then we would not have been able to convince you. But you are who you are. You are willing to take your daughters' and son-in-law's advice. And that is what ultimately saved Sybil."

"I mainly took your advice, I think."

"But that amounts to the same fact. You listened to your wife. Not many men in your position would have done that either. And I don't think that you'd have listened to me if I had been to only one to argue for Sybil going to the hospital."

"Still, I know what I thought was best."

"Robert, please. Be happy that we have another healthy granddaughter. And that her mother is on the road to recovery."

"I am trying."

"Come to bed. I want to go to see Sybil and the baby in the morning. Why don't you come with me?"

"All right."


	35. Chapter 35

October 1920

_Robert and Cora_

"They want to make Caitlin a Catholic."

"I know."

"There hasn't been a Catholic Crawley since the reformation."

"But she isn't a Crawley. She's a Branson."

"That does not matter. Our granddaughter, a left footer."

"It's Tom's and Sybil's decision. Not ours. And if Sybil is happy with Katie being a Catholic then there is nothing we can do about it. And what difference does it make, really?"

"Cora, sometimes you still don't understand."

"I still don't understand what?"

"What it all means. How important those things are to us."

"Robert, even your mother doesn't mind the girl being Catholic."

"So you agree with Mama then."

"Yes. I know it doesn't happen often but in this we agree."

"Mary and Matthew think she should be a Catholic too."

"They don't think she should be Catholic, they only think that Sybil and Tom have a right to choose their daughter's religion. And that is what I think as well."

"Are they going to stay here?"

"At least until the christening. But I want them to stay permanently. They can't return to Ireland. And I don't want them living in Liverpool in a tiny apartment."

"No. Is it true that Sybil won't be able to have any more children?"

"Yes."  
"How sad for her."

"Yes. Katie won't have any brothers or sisters. That's another reason why they should stay here. She'd grow up with children her own age. Although I suppose she'd meet children her age in Liverpool as well. But they won't be her cousins."

"No, they wouldn't be. Unless Tom's brother has children."

"He doesn't. He isn't married either. That's what Sybil said at least."

"I'll suppose we'll meet the brother. If Tom wants him to be godfather."

"Yes. He'll stay here for the christening."

"I'm glad they've asked Mary and Matthew as well."

"It's not a surprise. Matthew and Tom get along very well."

"I suppose they do."

_Mary and Matthew_

"We'll have a Catholic niece."

"Does it bother you?"

"No, not at all. You know I don't really believe in God, so it doesn't make a difference to me either way."

"Don't tell your father that."

"Don't worry, I won't. Katie will never have any brothers or sisters."

"They should stay here. Let Katie grow up with our children and Julia. I'll talk to Tom about it. Maybe you should talk to Sybil again too."

"She wants to stay. She told me this morning. She just doesn't want to fight with Tom right now."

"They will have to fight eventually."

"I think Tom doesn't know what he is supposed to do here."

"No, he doesn't."

"Can't you come up with something?"

"I'll try. I promise."


	36. Chapter 36

October 1920

_Robert and Matthew_

"Jarvis wants to leave."

"I know. It was about time."

"What? Matthew you can't be serious. He's been her for over forty years."

"Yes. And that is the problem. It was your father who employed him. To him you are the young master. I am nothing."

"I have been the Earl for 25 years now."

"Yes, but he doesn't care about it. To him you are the son of the man who employed him and thus you don't know anything. Or not much. I am the one who doesn't know anything."

"Matthew,"

"No. It's true. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him about my plans for overhauling some of the farms."

"Your plans are rather drastic. I don't really agree with them."

"Tom agrees with me."

"Why would that matter?"

"Because he's got experience in farming. His grandfather was a farmer."

"He doesn't know anything about big estates."

"He knows quite a lot about them. Don't forget that he worked here for years."

"I won't forget that. You can count on that."

"Don't be so melodramatic. What I am saying is that Tom has got hands-on experience. That is something we don't have."

"I should think not."

"But don't you think it would be good to have someone with hands-on experience?"

"Matthew, what are you saying?"

"Well, we do need a new estate manager."

"Yes. And I have no idea where to find one."

"We've already found him."

"Who?"

"Tom of course."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"You are telling my mother."

"She'll be happy about it. She suggested it to me."


	37. Chapter 37

December 1920

_Mary and Matthew_

"How's Tom working out as the new estate agent?"

"Brilliantly. His hands-on experience is priceless. And the farmers accept what he says a lot faster than what Robert or I say."

"It's because they see Tom as one of them."

"Probably. Robert has offered him Jarvis' old cottage but apparently Sybil doesn't want to move in there."

"No. She wants to stay here. She loves her family. She never left to get away from us. She wanted to get away from our kind of life, but never from us. And she's glad she's back. And with Tom managing the estate some of her problems have dissolved into nothingness."

"What do you mean?"

"Sybil was always sure that we, or at least Papa and Granny, would never really accept Tom. But by giving him such as central role to play, we have all accepted him. And you are making it very easy for him to feel accepted."

"I like him very much. He's the first friend I have had ever since moving here. Don't get me wrong, I love you and your parents and sisters. But it's different."

"Of course you like Tom. And I am glad that you do. It makes things so much easier. For Sybil and me as well. My relationship with Sybil has never been as complicated as that with Edith, but you and Tom being friends has changed something between Sybil and me I think. We see eye to eye now and I am very happy about that. Sybil has always been my sister, my favorite sister if I'm honest, but now she is a friend, probably even my best friend, too."

"You are an incredible woman."

"Of course I am. Seriously, why do you think that?"

"Because since our first meeting, you have changed a lot. When I first met you, you were a cold woman who didn't love anyone except for maybe her parents. But even that wasn't obvious. But know you are so different. And you haven't lost yourself along the way. You are still the same person. Just a better version of your old self."

"Papa said something similar once. He said you brought the change out in me."

"I am not sure about that."

"I am. Without you I'd still be the spiteful person I once was. I am still spiteful, but I've got it under control."

"That may be true, but you are so much more than that."

"Kiss me."

_Robert and Cora _

"I have to thank Matthew again. For suggesting Tom to be the agent of the estate. He does his work very well."

"I think you have to thank your mother. It was her idea in the first place."

"That doesn't mean that I will thank her."

"Robert"

"Not because I don't want to. Because she'd be embarrassed. Telling her that I am thankful for something she has done would mean talking to her about feelings. She hates that."

"Probably."

"Definitely. Has she ever told you that she loves you?"

"No. But your mother isn't one for telling outright lies."

"But it wouldn't be a lie. She loves you as much as she loves Rosamund and me. She'd just never admit to it."

"Robert, please"

"What I say is true. I am sure of it."

"If she'd never admit to it, then how do you know it is true?"

"I just do."

"Regardless of that, I am glad that Tom seems to have found his place. And that you have accepted him."

"I had accepted Sybil's choice of husband before that. I wouldn't have walked her down the aisle if I hadn't. And I am glad that I did walk her down the aisle."

"So am I."


	38. Chapter 38

June 1921

_Robert and Cora_

"We've all been invited to Duneagle in September."

"Oh dear."

"Don't you want to go? I had the impression that you thought it was beautiful there."

"Yes, I do. But we'll be travelling with five young children."

"There will also be eight of us and we will have to take the nanny with us."

"I am not sure if Susan and Shrimpie know how many children we'll be bringing with us. It is possible that they think that the children will stay home."

"Well, I'll mention the children to Shrimpie in my next letter. He is unlikely to tell me that he doesn't want the children there, but at least they are warned that way."

"Tom and Sybil might not want to come."

"Tom is excited about going. I've already told him and Matthew. They are both very interested in finding out about how Duneagle is run, how it can be kept the way it is without modernizing it. They are less interested in stalking though. Especially Tom. I think he'd like to drive around the estate all day long. And Matthew would only be too happy to join him."

"Have you told them about the bagpipers yet?"

"No. I thought their wives might want to tell them about that."

"You just didn't want to put them off."

"I want the whole family to come. Even if Matthew and especially Tom might behave unconventionally while we are there."

"It will be nice for Edith. To get away from it all."

"Do you think she still hasn't gotten over Anthony jilting her at the altar?"

"I am not sure. But she has to watch her happily married sisters all the time."

"She will have to do that at Duneagle too."

"Yes. But it will be a different setting. New things to see, different people to talk to."

"Cora, Edith spends half her time in London these days. Don't you think she meets people there?"

"She meets her editor quite a lot."

"Should I be worried?"

"No. She is an intelligent adult."

"That doesn't mean that I won't worry."

"I know darling. You always worry about the girls."

"I am their father. How could I not worry? But I worry about Edith the most. Sybil and Mary have found their positions in life. They are both very happily married, Mary has her charities and helps you run the house and Sybil is involved with the hospital so much that she spends more time there than at home. Julia is a mixture of Sybil and Mary, which drives me up the wall sometimes, but mostly makes me confident that we don't really have to worry about her. But Edith has never had it easy. I know she likes her work as a journalist and while I may not agree with her publishing her own column I am still very proud of her for doing it. As strange as that might sound."

"Tell her that."

"I will. I should have long ago. But I still worry for her."

"What about?"

"I don't think that she's happy. Not really. But I want her to be happy. As happy as her sisters. As happy as us."

"Kiss me."


	39. Chapter 39

AN: This is one of only two chapters so far in which a character besides Matthew, Mary, Cora and Robert says something. I thought about Robert retelling this conversation to either Cora or Matthew first but that was very complicated and awkward to write and this is much more natural. I always liked the conversation between Shrimpie and Robert at Duneagle because I think that was what made Robert realize what he has got and that he has no reason to be jealous of anyone.

* * *

September 1921

_Shrimpie and Robert_

"How do you do that?"

"How do I do what?"

"Whatever you do with your family. To keep the peace between them."

"I don't do anything, I think. Mary and Edith used to be the ones who fought the most and I think they still are, but they don't fight as often anymore as they used to because they both lead their own lives. And Mary doesn't want to fight in front of the children, so she keeps her comments to herself when the children are around."

"That's not what I mean. I am not talking about fights between sisters who are not great friends. They still love each other and get along most of the time, don't they?"

"They love each other as sisters, not as friends. That is different between Mary and Sybil but I hope and think that Edith can accept that because Sybil's and Mary's lives are rather similar while Edith's is just something else, as Cora would put it."

"You still love Cora."

"Of course I do. More than anything."

"Why?"

"There are a million reasons."

"Give me a few of them."

"She's kind, gentle, loving, accepting of others, intelligent, witty, forgiving, a very good mother to our daughters and she loves me although I have no idea why, because she is a much better person than I am."

"You married her for her money."

"Yes. I am very ashamed of that and I wish that people would stop mentioning that me. It happened in a different century."

"I think people keep mentioning it to you because you are so obviously happy. Everybody thought your marriage would not work out. Everyone we know was sure that you'd either end up very unhappy, with a wife who either mopes around all day because she isn't home which would lead to both of you having scandalous affairs or that you would actually end up with your wife in America which would also lead to both of you having scandalous affairs and maybe a divorce."

"I'm glad that didn't happen to us. But I never pictured my marriage like that. Not even before I fell in love with Cora."

"When did you fall in love with her?"

"I can't remember. I just realized that I had one day."

"Have you ever told her?"

"Have I ever told her what?"

"That you love her?"

"I tell her every day."

"You tell your wife that you love her every day."

"Yes. Shouldn't I?"

"It seems so out of character for you to talk about your feelings."

"It's different with her. But I tell my daughters that I love them too. Certainly not every day, but once in a while."

"Does Cora tell you that she loves you?"

"Of course she does. She is much more open with her feelings."

"What is that like? Having your wife tell you that she loves you?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"Susan has never told me that she loves me. Not once. And I have never told her either."

"Well, did you ever love each other?"

"No."

"Then why would you say it? Don't say something like that if you don't mean it."

"I am jealous of you."

"Don't be. You have this wonderful castle and you still keep up with the traditions. I have always been jealous of Dunealge."

"When we'll come back from the outpost it will be gone."

"I am sorry, Shrimpie. I didn't know."

"Besides having a wife who loves you, you also still have an estate. You did the right thing by modernizing it. You saved it. Your Tom has told me that Downton is self-supporting and that you use the capital to invest into the estate."

"Yes. But that didn't happen because of me. We'd probably have lost Downton if it wasn't for Matthew and Tom."

"So you have two wonderful sons-in-law was well."

"Do I? One of them is a country lawyer, the other one my former chauffeur."

"Matthew's your heir, he is much more than a lawyer."

"I was joking. I am very proud of Matthew. And of Tom. He's made a very delicate transition and has done so admirably well."

"Would you do me a favor?"

"What would you like me to do?"

"Take Rose with you when you go back to Downton. She needs to learn what love is."

"I'll talk to Cora about it. Shrimpie, if there is anything I can do, just tell me."

"There is nothing. Susan and I don't like each other and that can't be changed."

"You could get a divorce. I am sure that Matthew would be willing to help with the legal matters."

"We can't get a divorce. I have an official post."

"If you say so."

_Robert and Cora_

"I have just had the strangest conversation with Shrimpie."

"What about?"

"Us. Our family. And why I love you."

"Did you tell him? Why you love me?"

"I did."

"That must have been a very strange conversation then. You never talk about your feelings."

"I talk about them to you. Sometimes."

"That's different."

"I know. Shrimpie is very unhappy I think."

"He's not the only one. Susan is very unhappy too. She kept biting my head of whenever I mentioned you."

"They are jealous. Both of them. Although Shrimpie at least is nice about it."

"Susan is frustrated. Did you know they won't be coming back here?"

"Shrimpie told me. I am very thankful that we are not like them. Not just because we've still got our home and are not in danger of losing it. That is important. But because of our family. I haven't thought about how lucky we've been for some time. We've got four lovely daughters and two wonderful sons-in-law. I've got an heir who cares about the estate. Shrimpie said that his son hasn't cared in years. Hasn't been here in years. Annabelle hasn't been here since she got married. My heir and all our children and grandchildren live with us. We see them almost every day."

"We should be careful not to take any of that for granted. And count our lucky stars."

"Shrimpie told me that everyone who knows us thought that our marriage would end in disaster."

"Your mother certainly thought so."

"I never did. I always thought that we would be all right."

"I think we are much more than alright."

"Yes."

"Kiss me."


	40. Chapter 40

September 1921

_Mary and Matthew_

"What a horrible family."

"Mary, they are your cousins. And they aren't horrible."

"Maybe not individually. But the family dynamics are horrible. I'm glad we are only staying for three more days."

"We have to be careful not to end like them."

"Matthew"

"No Mary, I'm serious. We are very happy now but who knows what we will be like in 20 years?"

"Matthew. You were the one who kept telling me that we'd do well together and that we should therefore get married. Why are you talking about us ending up hating each other now?"

"When I talked you into marrying me all those years ago I didn't love you."

"Why does that matter now? Why is that so important for you Crawley men?"

"What?"

"My father keeps beating himself over the head for having married my mother for her money, not because he loved her. But look at them. They've been happy for over 32 years. They fell in love during the first year of their marriage. And so did we. It only took us a few months to fall in love. Why should we suddenly not be in love anymore at some point in the future?"

"I don't know. Love is such a strong emotion and I don't think I could keep on living, knowing that you didn't love me anymore."

"But why should that happen? I love you more than anything. I have loved you for eight years now. That won't change."

"How can you be so sure? How do you know that we won't end up like Susan and Shrimpie?"

"Susan and Shrimpie were never in love. At least not with each other."

"How do you know that?"

"Shrimpie and my father used to spend a lot of time together. We came here at least once a year and Shrimpie and his family came to visit us more often than that. Susan and Shrimpie were never in love. I know what it looks like when two people are in love, I have been living with my parents all my life. Susan and Shrimpie never looked like my parents."

"They certainly don't act like your parents now."

"No. But we do. Granny says so."

"My mother says so too."

"There you go then. There is nothing we have to worry about. Although I agree with you in that we should not take us for granted but work on staying the way we are."

"Kiss me."

"Not right now."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted to ask you something"

"What is it?"

"You know that Michael Gregson is coming tonight, right?"

"Yes."

"I was wondering if you could talk to him. Maybe spend some time alone with him."

"Why?"

"Because I think that Edith is in love with him. And we don't know anything about him."

"You don't want her to be disappointed again."

"No. She may not be my friend but she is my sister."

"I'll ask him to go fly fishing tomorrow. He won't want to go stalking. And your father hates fishing. So he won't be there. Should I ask Tom to come with us?"

"That might be a good idea. Show this Gregson that Edith has brothers who care about her and who protect her."

"All right. I'm sure Tom will be willing to help."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Kiss me now."


	41. Chapter 41

September 1921

_Mary and Matthew_

"So?"

"So what?"

"Matthew!"

"All right. He seems nice enough."

"Nice enough. What is that supposed to mean?"

"I think he is nice but there is a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"Mary, I'm not sure I should tell you about it."

"I am sure."

"He's married."

"What?"

"He's married. His wife is an asylum. She's been in there for years. But he can't get a divorce because lunacy is no reason for a divorce in the eyes of the law."

"Are you sure that the story is true?"

"I think so, but I'll make enquiries when we are back home."

"What does Tom think?"

"He thinks Gregson is genuine but he agrees that I should still make enquiries."

"If the story is true, about the mad wife, would you be able to help Gregson?"

"I don't know. I am not expert in divorces. I've handled a few but they were straightforward. Or as straightforward as possible with a divorce. It is true that lunacy is no reason for a divorce."

"Would you be willing to help him?"

"If he turned out genuine and you and I and Sybil and Tom agreed that he is the right man for Edith, then I would be willing. But only then."

"What about my parents' opinion?"

"No man will ever be good enough for any of your father's daughters in his eyes."

"No man except for you."

"I don't know."

"I do. My father loves you."

"I can hardly remember my own father. So I'm glad I've got yours."

_Robert and Cora_

"I don't know what to think about Mr. Gregson."

"Just ask Matthew and Tom. They took him fishing today."

"Cora. The boys took him finishing because they wanted a chance to speak to him without me being there. Do you really think I should ask them about it?"

"Yes. They did it because they wanted to get to know him. And to find out whether he is the right man for Edith. They don't want her to be hurt again. They'll tell you about it if you ask them."

"Probably. We are going stalking together tomorrow. If we can get away from the others for long enough I'll talk to Matthew and Tom. I hope we can get away. I have had enough of stalking."

"You looked forward to it so much."

"Yes, I did. I wanted to do it once or twice. Not every day. You are not allowed to talk. Or cough. Or think too loudly. The boys are even less enthusiastic than me. I told them that if we were successful early on we might do something else."

"And by something else you mean going to the village pub."

"I don't go to pubs."

"Yes you do. If Matthew and Tom are going."

"Am I supposed to say no every time they ask me to come along?"

"Certainly not. But don't tell me you don't enjoy it."

"I, well, I don't enjoy going to pubs per se. But I enjoy going with them. I'll give you that."

"That makes me very happy. You always liked Matthew but you were so against Tom."

"I had a good reason, even if I was wrong."

"You like him now, don't you?"

"Very much. I am very proud of him. He is a very good estate agent. And an excellent husband to our daughter and father to our granddaughter. I was so afraid he only wanted to marry Sybil to prove a point or to cause a scandal. But he really loves her. And he has become a member of this family, regardless of how hard it was for him to change so much. And he hasn't lost himself along the way. Deep down in his heart he is still a socialist. And that is good for the estate because he understands the tenants positions much better than Matthew or I ever could."

"He's good for Matthew too."

"Yes. Matthew needs a friend and Tom is a very good friend to him. They get along very well. You should see them when they are out on the estate together. You'd believe they were brothers who grew up there."

"In a way they did. With you as their father."

"Maybe."

"Certainly."


	42. Chapter 42

November 1921

_Robert and Matthew_

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Would you mind being responsible for the estate by yourself for a few months? I mean together with Tom."

"No. But why would that be necessary?"

"Because I want to take Cora to America for few months. She hasn't been there since before the war. It'll be her Christmas present."

"Are you going to take Julia with you? If you want to be alone with Cora we'll be happy to take care of Julia."

"I'd prefer to take her with us but I leave that up to Cora."

"How long will you stay there?"

"Three or four months. We'll leave at the end of January and then come back in April or May. We won't stay longer than four months because we'd both go crazy if we did."

"What about Rose's coming out?"

"We'll be back before that but I'll have to talk to Mary about the preparations."

"Talk to Sybil."

"Why? Mary is much more interested in things such as dresses and shoes and whatever else a girl needs for her coming out."

"Yes. But Mary might not be able to"

"Might not be able to what?"

"take care of all of that. Or go to London for the season and participate in it."

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"Talk to Mary about it."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"Because it isn't my news to tell."

"Matthew. She's having another baby, isn't she?"

"Yes. But I did not tell you that."

"No. Congratulations, son."

"Thank you."

_Robert and Mary _

"Has Matthew told you about my plans for your mother's Christmas present?"

"Yes. Papa, it's a wonderful idea. It will make Mama so happy."

"I think so too."

"If you want to be alone with Mama, we'll be more than happy to take care of Julia."

"I think I'd like to take her with us and I am almost sure that your mother won't want to leave her alone for three or four months. Julia has never been to America and she deserves some alone time with her parents, so I am almost sure that we'll take her along. But thank you for offering."

"You are welcome."

"Mary, we'd be gone from the end of January to April or May. But if you'd like to have your mother here with you, I can just move the trip."

"Why would I want that?"

"Because"

"Hold it. Matthew has told you about the baby, hasn't he? He is such a spoilsport sometimes."

"He hasn't told me. I guessed. And I haven't told anyone. Not even your mother."

"You haven't told her yet because you only found out this morning. It hasn't been night yet. Because once you and Mama are alone in your room you are going to tell her. Even if you try not to."

"What makes you think that?"

"Having lived with you all my life."

"Your Mama is in the library. Why don't you go tell her now?"

"That would probably be best."

"Mary, I am very happy for you and Matthew. I know that you have wanted another child for some time now."

"Thank you, Papa."


	43. Chapter 43

Christmas 1921

_Robert and Cora_

"So, do you like your Christmas present?"

"Of course I do. I haven't been to America since before the war. But what about Mary?"

"I've talked to her. She doesn't mind us going. And we should be back in time. The baby won't be here before the middle of May even if this one is early as well."

"What if something happens?"

"Sybil is here. I've talked to her too. She promised to keep an eye on Mary and to make sure that she takes care of herself. She also promised to help Mary organize Rose's coming out."

"I forgot about that."

"Don't worry. We'll be back in time for that as well. And Rose is in good hands. Mary, Edith and Sybil will get her ready. They know what they are doing."

"What about Julia?"

"Matthew, Mary, Sybil and Tom all offered to take care of her but I wouldn't mind taking her along."

"I'd like to spend some time alone with you. But I don't want to leave Julia behind. She's only seven and she's never been to America. And she's never had us just for herself."

"The let's take her. We'll go to see your mother first. We could leave her there for a week or two while we go to Boston. Your mother won't mind having Julia around."

"No, she won't. It's a brilliant idea. I'm glad you've got the time to leave the estate for so long."

"Matthew and Tom will take care of everything, I am not worried about that. And Mary has become quite the professional when it comes to running the house, so you can be gone for such a long time as well."

"We are very lucky."

"Kiss me."


	44. Chapter 44

January 1922

_Cora and Robert_

"Julia is finally asleep."

"Good. Maybe we should have taken the nanny with us."

"And leave the other four children without one? Mary and Sybil would not have thanked us for that and they are doing quite a lot for us. And wasn't the point of this to give Julia some alone time with us?

"Yes. But I want some alone time with you too."

"You've got it now."

"Until Julia decides to throw up again."

"She doesn't decide to do it. She is just sea sick."

"I know. I was joking. Poor girl. Should we go to dinner then?"

"We can hardly leave Julie alone."

"So now you are calling her Julie too."

"It's what everyone else calls her."

"It's what the boys call her. And they are allowed to do it because she is their little sister. Everyone else should call her Julia."

"Darling, I think you are fighting a losing battle. When was the last time that anyone besides you called Katie Caitlin?"

"I don't remember. The boys started that too but I couldn't very well tell Tom not to give his own daughter a nickname."

"You call Lizzie Lizzie."

"That is different."

"Because it is in a Jane Austen novel?"

"You win, darling."

"What is my prize?"

"A kiss."

"Let's eat first."

"All right then. By the way, I got an offer of marriage."

"Tell me the name of the woman who proposed to you and I'll throw her overboard."

"What? No. For Julia. A Mr. Davis offered his son to her. Apparently this son is the heir to quite a lot of money."

"What did you say?"

"That my daughter was seven years old and that it would be at least another thirteen years before I'd even think about her getting married. And that she should choose her own husband."

"Then what did Mr. Davis say?"

"That he didn't think that aristocrats married for love. I told him we had four daughters and two sons and asked him whether he thought that could be the result of a loveless marriage."

"Robert"

"What? I thought it was a good answer."

"It was. But it was also a lie."

"To quote my mother: 'lie is so unmusical a word'."

"But Mr. Davis now thinks that Julie has two older brothers."

"Which is good. Let him think that. And it isn't a complete lie. She thinks of the boys as her brothers. And they think of her as a sister. What are you smiling at?"

"That you keep calling Matthew and Tom 'the boys'."

"Well, that's what they are."

"They are grown men."

"Yes. But Sybil, Edith and Mary are grown women and we both call them 'the girls'."

"That's different. They are our children."

"Well, Matthew and Tom are almost our children, aren't they? They live with us, they are the reason we still have the estate and they are the fathers of our grandchildren."

"You have no idea how much it means to me that you think like that. I knew you think of Matthew as your son in many ways but I'm glad you feel the same about Tom."

"It surprises me sometimes, but I do."

"Have you ever told them how you feel about them?"

"No. I think Matthew knows because I once told Mary and I'm sure she told Matthew."

"Tell them. It would make them so happy."

"You think so?"

"Yes. Matthew's father died when he was five and Tom's father left right after Tom was born."

"You know, if I met him I'd probably kill him."

"Who?"

"Tom's father. How can you leave a child like that? No wonder Tom still seems so insecure at times."

"Tell him. And Matthew too."

"I will. When we are back."


	45. Chapter 45

AN: Two rather pointless chapters, I think. But I didn't want to skip too much time.

* * *

March 1922

_Mary and Matthew_

"How is the management of the estate going?"

"Very well."

"Good."

"Yes."

"Would you mind if Sybil and I went to London with Edith tomorrow? We want to prepare some things for Rose's coming out. We'll stay at Aunt Rosamund's. She's looking forward to it, I think."

"By all means, go. Will you take Rose?"

"No. Edith will take her next week to look at dresses, but this week it will only be us."

"Enjoy your time with your sisters."

"I think I will. Sybil and I are getting along with Edith much better now."

"It's because you have become so much nicer and Sybil doesn't have to pick sides anymore."

"Thank you, darling, I love you too. I think it's because she's finally come out of her shell. I just wish that Michael Gregson wasn't married."

"Me too. I'd have a lot less work to do then."

"Thank you for helping him."

"I'm doing it to help Edith."

"Then thank you for helping her."

"You are welcome. And I do love you."


	46. Chapter 46

April 1922

_Robert and Cora_

"I have just been asked whether my wife knows that I'm traveling with my mistress and our love child."

"Who asked that?"

"A Mr. Lambert."

"Never heard of him. What did you say?"

"I told him that my wife knew that I was traveling with a woman I loved very much and our youngest child."

"Robert, what has gotten into you?"

"Why? It's the truth."

"You do know that people on this ship will think that you are traveling with your mistress, don't you? And that you have more than one child with this mistress. And that I am that mistress."

"We'll have to explain it to them then."

"No. That would be too obvious and they will be offended. They have to find out by themselves."

"All right. Is Julia ready for dinner?"

"Yes. People will not be happy that you are bringing your mistress and her child to the dining room."

"At least she is a very well behaved child."

"She can be if she wants to. Let's hope that she wants to."

"Cora, don't worry. I promised her that if she was well behaved we'd let her eat with us and Mary and Matthew in Liverpool when they come to pick us up."

"Do Mary and Matthew know about this?"

"Of course not. But they won't mind."

"Let's hope not."


	47. Chapter 47

October 1922

_Matthew and Robert_

"The Shackletons have gone bankrupt."

"What?"

"I said that Shackletons have gone bankrupt."

"How do you know?"

"I heard about it at the office today. Apparently their estate has fallen to pieces and the house must be in a desolate state."

"I'm sorry to hear it, it is a beautiful house. Or I suppose that it was."

"Robert, we have to be very, very careful or we'll go the same way."

"I thought the estate was self-supporting."

"It is now. But that is no guarantee. Tom and I are doing all we can and at the moment we are actually making money but I think that we should think about investing more conservatively. In financial terms I mean."

"If you've already decided what to do, then why do you ask me? The finances are your business. You wanted it that way."

"Yes. But I would still like your opinion."

"We could buy more land. The Shackleton's land borders on ours on the north of our estate. I wouldn't feel great about buying the land of a bankrupt family, but there is nothing we can do about it."

"Tom thinks so too and it is good idea."

"But?"

"But the more land we'll buy, the higher the death duties will eventually be."

"Death duties."

"I deal with death duties almost every day. And they are high. In the current state Mary and I would be hard pressed to pay them and the larger the estate gets the higher the death duties will be."

"I'm surprised you could pay for them at all."

"We've invested almost all of Mary's dowry purely for that purpose."

"I had no idea."

"You are not a lawyer but I deal with wills and such every day. And I know what is coming our way."

"I suppose you do. What is your suggestion then?"

"I still think that buying more land would be the best idea. But we should try to reduce the death duties."

"But what could we do to achieve that?"

"Smash the entail."

"What? Matthew, you know we tried that, we tried to make Mary the heiress of the estate in 1912. And what would that help? She'd have to pay death duties as well."

"Yes, but that is not what I mean. I know the title has to go to me, I even want it to go to me now, but it might be possible to give the estate to George directly. He's both my and your direct blood relative."

"Matthew, no. The estate is supposed to go to you. It is your right. You deserve it. You've worked so hard to keep the estate in the family. It would be unfair."

"But we can hardly afford to pay death duties once, let alone twice."

"Then how about this: We buy the new land in your name. Or George's if you insist on it. You or him wouldn't have to pay death duties on the new land then. We won't spend all the superfluous money on new land but save some to make sure you will be able to pay death duties when that day comes."

"But the money we'd use to buy the new land would be yours."

"On paper, yes. But if you look at it that way you might just as well argue that all of this actually belongs to Cora because without her money we'd have lost the estate in 1888."

"That isn't the same and you know it."

"Matthew, this will all eventually be yours. And I want it to be yours. But you are right; we have to think about things such as death duties and a possible financial crisis. We should talk to Tom about it. But I dare say that he will agree."

"There is something else we should think about."

"What?"

"Katie's dowry. I know that Tom and Sybil haven't touched Sybil's money and Tom asked me to invest it for him in Katie's name, but it might not be enough. Actually, there's even more than that. I'd like to change Katie's, Lizzie's and Claire's dowries into trust funds they'll have access to when they come of age, regardless of their marital status. I want them to be independent. I know how hard it was for Mary to be dependent on marriage. I don't want that for our two girls or Katie."

"Or Julia, I suppose."

"I wouldn't be so presumptuous. She's your daughter."

"While we were on our way to America I told someone that it would be at least 13 more years until I thought about Julia getting married. That will be in 1935. Who knows what the world will be like then? I certainly don't. I can't even be sure whether I'll still be here then. So it might be a good idea. I'll talk to Cora about it."

"You'll still be here."

"Hopefully. I am happy we've got Julia, of course, she was such a wonderful surprise, but having a child so late in life means worrying about being there for her for as long as she needs it. I am scared we'll leave her alone too early."

"You won't. Think about how old your mother is. But even if something happened to you, Julie wouldn't be alone. Mary and I would take care of her. We've talked about it."

"When?"

"Sometime between Cora telling us that she was pregnant and me going off to war."

"You didn't even know if she'd be a girl then."

"No. But Mary said that if anything happened to you or Cora or worst of all both of you, she wouldn't be able to leave such a young sibling to his or her own devices. She was right and I knew that. And I felt the same. I still do."

"Matthew, I don't know what to say. I really don't."

"If you'd prefer someone else to take care of her all you'd have to do was to write it into your will."

"What? No, I don't, of course I don't. Matthew, I, I, it's just I never would have expected you or Mary but especially you to have felt like that. Not then. Now, maybe. But not back then. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything."


	48. Chapter 48

AN: Thank you so so much for the many reviews and views! There have been over 25.000 views so far and that is beyond what I can believe ;)

I've noticed that the first new chapter I post every day only ges about 2/3 of the views the second new chapter gets, so just a small reminder: I usually post two chapters every day (this chapter and the previous one today) ;)

Anyway, thank you so much again!

* * *

October 1922

_Cora and Robert_

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hm?"  
"What are you thinking about? You seem preoccupied."

"I am. I've been thinking about changing my will."

"Your will."

"Yes. I never specified what we want to happen to Julie should something happen to both of us. All it says it that we want our children to be taken care of by my family."

"So you would like to be more specific about that now."

"Yes. I've been wondering whether it shouldn't explicitly say that we want Mary and Matthew to take care of her."

"That does seem like a good idea at first glance."

"But?"

"Mary and Matthew have four children of their own. The moment you die they'll become Earl and Countess. Wouldn't it be a bit much for them to inherit a fifth child then as well? A child who, if it comes the question of who will take care of her, must have lost both her parents? Shouldn't we say that we want Sybil and Tom to take care of Julie instead?"

"You are right about that, but as much as I like Tom, I am not sure that he would be the ideal guardian. Don't get me wrong, I think he is a very good father to Katie and I value what he is doing for the estate very much. But Julie is the daughter of an earl. And I think the only two people we know who really have a grasp of what that means are Mary and Matthew."

"Sybil is the daughter of an earl as well."

"Yes, but her daughter isn't. And I think that Mary and Matthew are very well aware of what raising the daughter of an earl entails. Also, Matthew would have to take care of all the financial aspects anyway. He is much better suited for that and I know that Tom asked him to take care of Katie's finances."

"Has he?"

"Yes. And Matthew wants to change the girls' dowries into trust funds. So they won't have to get married to get access to their money. It will actually be their money."

"Does he intend to do that for Julie too?"

"He said he wouldn't be so presumptuous as to suggest it but I think it might be a good idea. Think about how the world has changed in the last 10 years. And who is to say it won't change even more, maybe even more drastically? It might be good for Julie to have some money of her own."

"It would be a lot of money."

"Yes. But that makes it even more important that we at least think about actually giving it to her and not her husband, whom we might very well never meet. Neither Tom nor Matthew have touched Sybil's or Mary's dowries, Matthew told me about that. Tom is saving it for Katie and Matthew and Mary want to use it to pay death duties when the time comes. We've been very lucky with the sons-in-law we've got. But we can't be sure that Julie will find a man like that."

"No. I think it is a good idea. Let's sleep on it and if we still think so tomorrow evening we'll change the will and ask Matthew to take care of Julie's finances as well."

"All right then. Goodnight darling."

"Goodnight love."


	49. Chapter 49

AN Leni: Thank you so much for saying that! I can't believe that one of the first things people do after getting up is read something that I have written!

* * *

December 1922

_Mary and Cora_

"Mama, do you have a minute? Or maybe more?"

"I told your father I'd go for a walk with him but he hasn't shown up yet and I can just tell him to wait a little if necessary."

"Good. Because this is very difficult."

"You are scaring me. Is someone sick?"

"No."

"Mary, if you don't want to tell me you don't have to. But if you do just say it. Sometimes that's easiest."

"I want to but I don't know if I can."

"Mary, I know you are 31 years old and that you have four children of your own but I am your mother. You can tell me anything if you want to."

"You know how Sybil and I get along with Edith much better now?"

"Yes and it makes me very happy."

"She told us something and made us swear not to tell anyone but I'm afraid that she'll make a mistake she is going to regret for the rest of her life."

"Have you told her that you think so?"

"Yes. And Sybil has done the same but it didn't change her mind. But maybe you could. Because I think that the reason she wants to do it is that she is afraid of disappointing you and Papa."

"Whatever it is, I'll try not to be too disappointed. And I'll cushion the blow for your father if necessary."

"You best sit down."

"Mary, you have got me very worried now."

"Edith is pregnant and she wants to have an abortion without telling Michael because she is so afraid of disappointing you and Papa and Granny and everyone else."

"She can't do it. You are right, she would regret it for the rest of her life."

"I've asked Matthew whether there was any way of speeding up the divorce process but there isn't. So she can't get married to Michael now."

"That is not good, but she has to keep the child or at the very least she has to tell Michael."

"Sybil and I told her that too. But she is afraid that Michael will want her to keep the child. I told her that would be a good thing but she is so focused on what you and Papa would say that she doesn't even consider that this might drive a wedge between her and him."

"I have no idea what to do. What do Matthew and Tom think?"

"I haven't told Matthew and Sybil has given Edith her word and she never breaks it, so I think that Tom doesn't know either."

"I will talk to Edith. But before I do that I will have to talk to your father about this. We can't do anything behind his back."

"I know. Please tell him that Sybil and I are willing to help Edith."

"I will. And I'll try to think of a solution."

_Cora and Robert_

"There you are. Should we leave now?"

"Yes."

"Robert, there is something we have to talk about."

"I know. I heard you talking to Mary. I shouldn't have listened, I know but she got me worried just as much as you with her beating around the bush."

"Maybe this is better because I don't have to tell you then."

"How were you planning to 'cushion the blow' as you said?"

"I hadn't thought that through to be honest. Are you very disappointed?"

"No. I don't like it, you can be sure of that, but it wasn't as if we hadn't suspected that she might spend her nights in London with Mr. Gregson."

"No. But we thought she'd be more careful."

"Sometimes children come as a surprise as we know quite well."

"Yes, but we didn't actively try to prevent it. We were sure it wouldn't happen. It didn't' happen for 18 years."

"Maybe they were sure too. Regardless, we need to talk to Edith. We have to tell her that we are not disappointed."

"Aren't we?"

"Does that matter? Cora, we can't tell her we are disappointed if that is the reason she wants to have an abortion. Mary is right. Edith would regret that forever."

"I love you."

"Where did that come from?"

"Edith' well-being is more important to you than that she keep a scandal under wraps."

"Of course it is. She is our girl. And besides, her older sister married a lawyer, her younger sister a chauffeur, is having a child of wedlock really that much worse? And who knows what Julie will get up to."

"So what are we going to do?"

"I have no idea. But we will support her."

"Kiss me."


	50. Chapter 50

December 1922

_Cora and Robert_

"Poor Edith."

"Yes. She was so shocked we knew."

"Mary will hear about this. I feel sorry for her too."

"Mary did the right thing. And Matthew and Tom need to know. Maybe they will come up with something. They are good at that."

"Yes. We also have to tell your mother eventually."

"I do not fancy doing that. Maybe we should leave that to Julie. She's got her Granny wrapped around her little finger."

"She's got you wrapped around her little finger too."

"She's our baby girl, of course she does."

"Just like the other three."

"And you."

"And the boys."

"But you most of all. I'd do anything for you."

"I know, and it makes me love you even more."

"Maybe we should just face the scandal."

"What?"

"Maybe Edith should just stay here and have the baby here. There would always be rumors, so why not be open about it?"

"Robert, I can't believe you are considering this."

"Neither can I. But we are a house of scandal anyway. People have been whispering about us ever since the announcement of our engagement."

"You are right. First people gossiped about us not marrying for love and then they gossiped about us for actually being in love. And they haven't stopped that yet. Well, why would they, it is true."

"Kiss me."


	51. Chapter 51

December 1922

_Robert and Matthew_

"Has Mary told you about Edith' baby?"

"Yes."

"What do you think about it?"

"That she should keep the child."

"Because this is a house of minor scandal anyway it doesn't matter if there is a huge one."

"What are you talking about?"

"Matthew, people have been whispering about this family ever since my engagement to Cora. It was rather embarrassing at the time, having to marry an American for her money. Falling in love with an American was apparently an even bigger scandal."

"I don't think that is why people are talking about us. They are talking about us, I know that, and your marriage to Cora sometimes still is the starting point, but what people find worthy talking about is what you have made out of that marriage. And I don't mean your personal happiness but what you, or rather we, have done to the estate. Robert, you are one of a rather select few who have been able to actually make profit with their estates over the course of the last years. You are one of a very select few whose estate is still intact and who can still finance living in a house like this."

"I wouldn't have been able to do this alone though. Without Tom and you."

"That is something else that people talk about. That you share your responsibilities with us. That you are able to see that we might have something to add. People are jealous of you, that is all there is to it."

"I do have a good life."

"Yes you do. We all do. And considering that, Edith being pregnant without being married is sjust a minor hiccup. And she loves the father of her child; it's not as if this was the result of a one night stand."

"No."

"Robert, could we invite Michael here for the holidays? I am sure that it would make Edith very happy and it might actually help to keep the scandal small, if the child's father is obviously welcomed by the family."

"I'll talk to Cora about it."

"Mary is doing that right now."

"Divide and conquer?"

"In a way"

"How are you getting on with the divorce?"

"I am not sure I am making any progress at all but I am not giving up."

"That is more than anyone can ask."


	52. Chapter 52

February 1922

_Matthew and Robert_

"You have to come to London with me."

"Why?"

"You need to pull some strings. Because of the divorce."

"Have you made progress then?"

"Possibly, I don't know. But I need to speak to the Lord Chancellor. It would be best if we both spoke to him together. As the current and future Earl of Grantham."

"I don't understand."

"There is no standard procedure to let Michael divorce his wife, I've checked everything and I've talked to more divorce lawyers than I can count. But this is a special situation. He wants to get married again and he wants to marry a daughter of the current Earl of Grantham who also is a sister-in-law of the future Earl. If we promised that we'd take care of Mrs. Gregson's finances, which admittedly would mean that we'd have to promise to pay for her stay and care in the asylum, we might have a small chance. The major reason why a lunatic can't be divorced is that it costs so much to keep them in an asylum and somebody needs to pay for it. And if we were both to promise that we would do it, there might be a small chance."

"Matthew, I don't know."

"The only other possibility is for Michael to become a German."

"Let's see if we can talk to the Lord Chancellor."

_Cora and Robert_

"So Matthew's found a way for Michael to get divorced."

"Possibly. We don't know. We have to see what the Lord Chancellor says."

"I hope that you will be successful."

"So do I because I am sick and tired of having Michael here, pretending to be guest. Everyone knows that he spends every night in Edith' room."

"Robert, what did you expect? And nothing worse could happen. Edith sleeps better when he is there with her, so let her have that comfort. She feels bad enough already."

"I know she does. And I have told her not to. Repeatedly. I have told her that I am just as excited about this grandchild as I was about all the others but she doesn't believe it."

"Did you tell her the truth?"

"Yes. It is not the baby's fault that it will be born under unfortunate circumstances."

"If you and Matthew are successful it might not come to that."

"The child will be born in July, Matthew says it is unlikely that the divorce will be through by then, even if we are successful."

"But they will eventually get married. This child won't be fatherless or nameless."

"No."

"But you are not comfortable with Michael regardless of that."

"I don't know. He is a gentleman. I am sure that the child was a much Edith' doing as it was his, if not more. But there is hardly anything I can talk to him about. He is so different from Tom and Matthew."

"Of course he is. Matthew and Tom are country boys. They live for this estate. Michael will never be like that and you will never feel about him as you feel about Matthew and Tom."

"No, I am sure of that. Michael will never be one of our boys. Not the way Matthew and Tom are."

"That isn't necessary though. They'll move to London anyway, I am sure of it. They might come here for the weekend but that will be it. And Michael is older than Matthew and Tom. He won't need you like they needed you. He is a completely different person. Matthew and Tom are so alike that you could mistake them for brothers."

"They are best friends, anyway."

"Yes. And it is good that they are. Imagine they couldn't stand each other and we'd still have to live with both of them."

"Tom and Sybil would have left then."

"You are probably right, but it doesn't matter. I was joking."

"I know, darling. And you've made me laugh and I thank you for that."

"Kiss me."


	53. Chapter 53

October 1923

_Mary and Matthew_

"Congratulation my dear."

"On what?"

"This wedding was mainly your doing. Without your work they wouldn't have been able to get married today."

"Probably not. But you should congratulate your father too. He was quite persuasive when we talked to the Lord Chancellor."

"He got my mother to marry him. He must be good at persuading people to do something they don't want to do."

"As long as it turns out to be for the best, there is no problem with that. And it has turned out for the best, both for Edith and your mother."

"Yes."

"She looked so happy."

"Who? My mother or Edith?"

"I meant Edith. Your mother always looks happy, especially when your father is around. Or when she thinks about him."

"She thinks about him all the time when he is not around."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I always think about you when you are not around. Not consciously but for example when Mama and I make the plans for dinners the following week I keep thinking about what you would like. And she thinks about what Papa would like. We of course try our best to keep the balance. It's the same with many other things. When I read something in the newspaper that I think would interest you or make you laugh I immediately think 'I should tell Matthew about this'. It's just little things like that."

"I sometimes have a running commentary given by you in my head when I talk to clients who want impossible things. I hear how you would make fun of them."

"It is hard for me not to make fun of you right now. Hearing voices in your head."

"Make fun of me all you like, darling. Your tendency to be sarcastic and make fun of so many things is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you. And I said 'voice'. Not voices. I only hear your voice."

"Good. Because if you heard another woman's voice I'd have to be very jealous. Unless of course the voices belonged to Lizzie or Claire, I could live with that very well. Matthew, are you alright?"

"Yes. I just realized that we've been in love for 10 years."

"And that is a reason to pull a face like that?"

"No, darling. I just thought about what our marriage would have been like if we hadn't fallen in love."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I was just wondering. We were very lucky."

"Maybe."

"What?"

"I think we were lucky in having met and in you not being offended by my rejecting two of your proposals."

"I was very offended Mary, I just didn't give up."

"All right then, by you not giving up. But I think us being in love was not something that came along by chance. Before I accepted you, I talked to my father about his feelings for my mother. And he said that he didn't know why they fell in love and that it could have been fate, or luck, or because they wanted to be in love. And I am sure that they fell in love because they wanted to. They wanted a happy marriage and they knew that if they put in enough effort they could have it. And they did and they have been happy for 35 years now. And we are the same. Matthew, I wanted a happy marriage and so did you. I wanted to love you so I looked for things that would make me love you. And I asked you to do the same."

"You once said to me that should I see a possibility for love between us I should act on it. And I did."

"Yes darling and you still do so every day. And so do I."

"Do you think that you would have fallen in love with Patrick, had you married him?"

"Is that important?"

"I just want to know."

"I don't know. I didn't want to love him. I wanted him for the title and the estate."

"That is why you married me."

"Yes and no. I wanted that, there is no doubt about that. But by the time you started proposing, I had realized that I wanted something more."

"Is that why you once said that you would have only married Patrick if nothing better had turned up?"

"Yes. But at the time I would never have admitted that something better would have been the prospect of a very happy marriage."

"If Patrick hadn't died, do you think there would have been any way for us to get married?"

"Matthew, why are you thinking about this?"

"I just want to know."

"I don't know. I like to think that we would have met at some family function we had both been invited to and we would have had a fight because you would have been so presumptuous as to talk to me and Sybil would have said 'But Mary, isn't that exactly what you want? A man who doesn't care about the rules of society and who stands up to you?' and I would have realized that we would be very well suited and I would have told Patrick to marry Edith."

"That is an extremely unlikely story, my love."

"Maybe, but I don't care about what would have been. And neither should you. We are so happy, why dwell on things that would have meant us not being this happy? Isn't it more important that we are happy?"

"It is all that counts."

"Then kiss me."


	54. Chapter 54

December 1923

_Mary and Robert_

"So I am going to be an aunt again. That was a lovely surprise."

"Was it?"

"Was it what? Lovely or a surprise?"

"It certainly was a surprise, I am not so sure about the 'lovely' part."

"Why not?"

"Because I think it is too soon. Their little girl is only five months old and Edith is pregnant again. And she must have been pregnant for at least a few weeks already and I am worried."

"Why?"

"Because Sybil almost died when she had Katie and you almost died when you had Claire."

"Papa, I didn't almost die. It wasn't an easy birth, I grant you that, it was worse than the other three put together, but I was never going to die."

"So you say. But you didn't see the look on your mother's face. I thought you had died at one point, that was how desperate she looked."

"But that is not her fault, or mine, or Edith'. Dr. Clarkson didn't express himself very well but he was under a lot of stress. Claire was breech and that isn't easy to deal with for the doctor who has to deliver the child."

"They had to cut you open."

"They cut Sybil open too. And we both made it. And who says that that is going to happen to Edith? I have had three children before that one complicated birth. She might just breeze through this one."

"As much as I love my grandchildren, I won't be sad when I won't have to deal with my daughters being pregnant anymore."

"What about Julie?"

"She just turned 9. It will hopefully be another 15 years before she has her first child. By that time I might feel differently, who knows."

"You won't. You'll be just as worried about her."

"Yes, I will be, you are right. All that worry is the prize I am paying for having four such wonderful daughters."

"The worry and your grey hair."

"That is the prize I am paying for your mother."

"It's a good bargain I suppose."

"A very good one."

"You should go up; she said she'd wait for you."

"Yes I should. Goodnight Mary."

"Goodnight Papa. And please remember that we have guests and that Mama will have to be at the breakfast table at nine. I will check if she is up at 8:30. I will come into your room without knocking. Remember that Granny is still sleeping here and I don't want to be at the breakfast table with her while you and Mama are both conspicuously absent ever again."

"I'll try my best."

"I won't knock Papa."

"All right. I'll tell your mother."

_Robert and Cora_

"You have to get up on time tomorrow morning."

"Why?"

"Because my mother is still sleeping here and you have to be at the breakfast table at nine."

"Robert, your mother has been here since the night before Christmas and will stay until New Year's day. It is only Boxing Day. Do you expect me to get up for her every day?"

"I don't expect you to, but she does. And Mary does."

"Why Mary?"

"Because she was at the breakfast table with my mother this morning while we weren't there."

"We were busy."

"I suppose my mother gathered as much and didn't keep quiet about it. Mary said she never wants to be with her grandmother at a breakfast table again while we are both 'conspicuously absent' to use her words."

"But then why don't you just get up on time? And let your wife sleep?"

"The reason we didn't go down for breakfast this morning was not because we were asleep."

"I am aware of that. You woke me with amorous intentions."

"You looked so lovely with your braid having fallen apart. What was I supposed to have done? Just walk away? I am only a man."

"I am not sure whether I should be flattered or offended."

"Flattered, darling, always flattered."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Robert, if you don't stop, there will be no way I will be up on time tomorrow morning. It is past one am. And I will have to get up at seven if I am to be ready on time. What were you doing downstairs for such a long time anyway?"

"Talking to Mary."

"About what?"

"My grey hair. I told her it was the prize I had to pay for you."

"What did she say?"

"That she would come in here tomorrow morning at 8:30 to make sure that you were up. And that she wouldn't knock."

"Then you have to stop now Robert, or the day will start with me being made fun of by our eldest daughter."

"I don't want to stop."

"Robert"

"What?"

"Kiss me."

_Mary and Cora_

"So you really are up."

"And you really came in here without knocking."

"You look as if you didn't get enough sleep."

"Your father kept me up until"

"I do not want to hear that Mama. I am very happy for you and Papa, believe me. But I do not want to hear about what you are doing or when you are doing it. That sounded wrong. I'm sorry."

"You haven't slept enough either."

"No. Jamie had a nightmare and decided that the best way to deal with it was to wake up Claire. So we had our youngest two children sleeping in our bed. You have no idea how much space two such little people can take up."

"I do have an idea about that Mary. And I dare say that your children inherited that particular talent from you."

"I am sorry for the all nights I have kept you awake because I took up too much space in your bed."

"I am not. Mary, you might be exasperated now, but once all your children are too grown up to sleep in your bed from time to time, you will be glad that you have those memories. What you will not be glad about however, is your grown up daughter coming into your bedroom unannounced."

"I am not announced. I told Papa to announce me last night. I just didn't knock. And I didn't have to because you knew I was coming in here."

"If you weren't my daughter I'd be angry at you now."

"But I am your daughter."

"Yes. You better be glad about that."

"I am glad about that. Very glad, Mama."

"Let's go downstairs or your Granny will have a fit."


	55. Chapter 55

March 1924

_Mary and Cora_

"So it is really all right if we leave all our children with you while we are in New York."

"Yes Mary. I have told you this several times already. And so has your father. And we have both told Matthew. We do not mind watching our grandchildren while their parents are on a much deserved vacation."

"It isn't really a vacation, is it? Matthew has to get Uncle Harold out of trouble. And if that doesn't work"

"If that doesn't work your father will have to go to America too. But we'll see about that. And Matthew won't have to work the whole time."

"No. It will be nice to have him for myself for more than a few hours at night. We haven't really been by ourselves since George was born and he turns ten in July. But I still think that maybe we should at least take him and Lizzy. You took Julie two years ago."

"But that was different."

"Why?"

"Because your father and I had had about 4 years of being at least almost by ourselves for a lot longer than just a few moments at night before we had Julie. You were all grown up by that time. And I wanted Julie to have us to herself so she would be aware of who her parents are."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mary, you can't ever talk to your father about this, promise me."

"I won't tell Papa. I promise."

"Before we took Julie to America I had the feeling, and I think that I was right about that, that she sometimes was a little confused about whether we were her parents or you and Matthew."

"What?"

"You take her along whenever you do something with George. And don't get me wrong, both your father and I are very thankful for that. There are some things when it comes to parenting that you and Matthew can do better than us because you are younger than us. But little girls usually want to be like their mother and idolize their father. Julie wanted to be like you and idolized Matthew. I am not saying that is wrong, Matthew and you are wonderful people, but it wasn't good for Julie at that time. That's why I wanted to take her. So that she would learn that we are her parents. And it worked. Especially her relationship to your father has changed. She still loves Matthew to pieces but she idolizes your Papa."

"Mama, I am sorry about that. I wasn't aware"

"How could you be? And it doesn't matter anymore, because those three months were enough to make it right. Your father still spends more time with her than he spends with any of his grandchildren. He didn't use to do that before we took Julie along. I don't think it is something that he does consciously but it is good that he does it nevertheless. It makes both of them very happy."

"What about your relationship to her?"

"That's different. She knows I'm her mother but she still wants to be like you. But that is because I spend a lot more time with you than I spend with her. She isn't angry about that and she understands that we spend so much time together because we do a lot of work together, but she thinks that if she is like you, I will spend as much time with her when she is grown up."

"Mama, why don't you take her along to some of the things you usually do with me? You could have her with you while planning the dinner menus or take her along to some of the charities. She is nine and rather well behaved when told that she has to behave for something. We can keep that up when I'm back and if Lizzie asks why she can't come along too, we'll just tell her that Julie is your daughter and has different responsibilities or something like that."

"That sounds like a good idea although I wonder if she isn't too young."

"I don't think so. She is wiser than her years. Maybe I should do more 'sister things' with her. To show her that she and I are sisters and nothing else. Sybil and I are going to London tomorrow. I still need to run some errands before we leave and Sybil wants to help Edith pick out baby clothes. How about we'll take Julie? We won't do anything too grown up. We'll stay with Aunt Rosamund, she won't mind having Julie around, I am sure I can convince her to let Julie have dinner with us. Aunt Rosamund loves Julie. And I'll convince Edith to come round for dinner too. Maybe she'll even stay one night."

"Are you sure about that? I thought you always went out for dinner one night, just the three of you. And you can't take Julie to a restaurant at night. Your father would have a fit and so would I."

"But we can take her to a restaurant for lunch can't we? We are only staying two nights, we'll have dinner with Aunt Rosamund both nights. I'm sure she'll agree. And we won't take the governess or the nanny because that would make Julie feel like a child. But I am sure that we can keep her in check."

"Mary, you are a wonderful sister."

"I am trying my best. With all of my sisters."

"Which proves my point. You worked very hard to become friendly with Edith, even if you probably won't ever be really good friends."

"I consider her my friend. Not as close a friend as Sybil or Anna, but a friend nonetheless."

"Which is a lot more than I would have asked for while you were children. I was glad you didn't try to kill each other."

"At the very least we didn't try to do so successfully."

"Go and tell your youngest sister that she will join you in London. It'll make her happy."


	56. Chapter 56

April 1924

_Robert and Cora_

"I can't wait for Matthew to be back."

"You miss your son."

"Yes. And my daughter too. But most of all I miss my valet."

"Why? Don't you like Moseley?"

"I think the only reason Matthew has kept him on for the past 12 years is because he doesn't really need him for anything besides cleaning and mending clothes. He does everything else himself. And if Moseley was my valet I'd do that too. He is driving me up the wall. He is so insecure about everything. And at the same time so overconfident. I don't even know how that is possible, but it is. Still, he's better than Thomas I suppose."

"It was very nice of you to allow Bates to go to America instead of Moseley."

"What was I supposed to do? Mary wouldn't stop begging."

"She wanted to do Anna a favor."

"If Anna couldn't be away from Bates that long, shouldn't Mary have taken someone else then? Instead of taking my valet too?"

"Robert, Anna and Mary have known each for half their lives. Anna wanted to see America, so Mary took her."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm just a little grumpy."

"They'll be back in two weeks. And you won't have to go to America, Matthew got Harold out of trouble although I have no idea how he did it."

"He played the Earl of Grantham card."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he wrote it to me. He thought it would make me laugh and it did. I almost fell out of my chair. Tom thought I was having a seizure."

"What did he do?"

"Tom? Stare at me."

"No. Matthew."

"He was asked who he was and he said the he was the future Earl of Grantham. Someone asked him what the title of the eldest son of the Earl of Grantham was and he said 'Viscount Downton', which is true. The authorities have called him 'Lord Downton' the whole time. He didn't find it necessary to tell them that he wasn't my son."

"I am sure Mary loves this."

"Yes. I am surprised she hasn't written it to you."

"She probably didn't because she knew that Matthew would tell you. That is usually enough to tell both of us."

"Kiss me."


	57. Chapter 57

June 1924

_Cora and Robert_

"What did Tom want to talk to you about?"

"His father."

"I thought he didn't know his father."

"He doesn't. But he has resurfaced. The father I mean."

"What? How?"

"Tom had a letter from his brother yesterday. It included a letter from his father. He wants to meet Tom."

"What does Tom want?"

"He doesn't know. He wants to know his father but he is terribly afraid of being disappointed. He believes that it is possible that his father only wants to meet him because Tom is now a member of this family, because he married the daughter of an earl."

"What do you think?"

"That that is very likely."

"Are you sure that it really is Tom's father?"

"Tom's brother seems to think so and he is 10 years older than Tom and remembers their father. But if it became important we could ask Matthew to make enquiries."

"How do you feel about this?"

"It makes me uncomfortable. I don't want Tom to be hurt and I am almost sure that he will be if he meets his father. But I don't want to tell him not to meet him either."

"What about Sybil?"

"She thinks that Tom should meet his father even if he will be hurt. She is probably right."

"Has Tom asked for your advice?"

"Yes."

"What have you told him?"

"That in the end it is his decision. But I told him to think about it carefully."

_Matthew and Robert_

"Tom asked me to ask you to come to London with us when he goes there to meet his father."

"Why doesn't he ask me himself?"

"Because he is afraid of disappointing you."

"I am not the one to be disappointed. I am afraid that he will be, but I understand why he wants to go."

"He is afraid that you might not want him to meet his real father, that you think that he already has a father and shouldn't want another one."

"I don't think that."

"No?"

"I think he has a right to meet his real father regardless of how I feel about that or about Tom. Cora doesn't tell you not to talk to your mother anymore, does she?"

"No, of course not."

"And yet, when she meets someone she has never met before and is asked how many children she has got, she usually says 'six'."

"Tom and I should count ourselves very lucky then."

"Yes, but I am sure that you do. Is Sybil coming?"

"No. She's offered of course, but Tom doesn't want her to. It might be better if she stayed here anyway, because apparently Edith doesn't want to leave here anymore before the birth and Sybil might be needed. So it will be just the three of us. I thought that we should stay at our house, not with Rosamund. And have the drink cabinet filled up."

"Our house? Do you own a house in London I don't know about?"

"What? No, I meant Grantham House. I am sorry I shouldn't .. Papa, you are making fun of me."

"Yes I am, son. And I think you are right. About staying at our house and not with Rosamund."

"Should I tell Tom that you are coming with us?"

"Yes. He probably doesn't want to talk to me about it anymore before we are there."


	58. Chapter 58

June 1924

Cora and Robert

"How was London?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"But I want you to talk about it."

"Well, I should tell you regardless because there might be a story about me in the paper."

"What kind of story?"

"'Earl punches innocent man in public place' or something like that."

"Robert what did you do?"

"Nothing."

"You just told me that you punched an innocent man."

"I said that's what the papers would write. I didn't say the man really was innocent."

"Seeing your facial expression, the man you punched was Tom's father."

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to ask Matthew?"

"I'll tell you. Tom's father, and it really is him, there's no denying it, asked to meet in a restaurant rather than at our house. Matthew and I thought that was probably best, not to show Tom's father exactly what kind of life he now lives. Tom asked both Matthew and me to come to the restaurant, not with him, because he didn't want his father to know that we were there, but to be there. Just in case. The nerve of that man. He didn't even explain himself. All he said was "So you are Tom, my son. And you married the daughter of an earl."

"I am sure he didn't say it like that."

"Not exactly. But that is the essence of it. Anyway, he told Tom about his financial troubles, about how he has to pay off some debts and expected Tom to offer him to pay them for him. Tom told him that the money he owns was hard earned and that he wasn't wiling to just give it away to someone he didn't know and that he had a daughter to think of. His father yelled at him, called him names I am not going to repeat to you, but at the end he said to Tom that he was an ungrateful piece of scum who wasn't worth do be anyone's son."

"And then you punched him."

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Not punch him."

"I know. But I lost my temper. How could he say something like that to his own son? Even if he doesn't know him although he is his own son? How could anyone say something like that about Tom, who is such a good husband to our daughter and father to our granddaughter? Who is such as good son to us?"

"Did you tell him that?"

"I told Tom's father. After he asked me why I had punched him."

"What did he say?"

"That I was an ungrateful piece of scum too who didn't deserve to be anyone's father. I almost punched him again."

"Only almost?"

"Both Tom and Matthew beat me to the punch quite literally. So that might be in the papers as well."

"I dare say so. And I am very proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yes. What did Tom say afterward?"

"He asked me and Matthew to go to pub with him and so we did. We drank to fathers and sons and many other things I don't really remember."

"You got drunk."

"All three of us. I don't think I've ever seen Matthew that drunk. We all fell asleep in the library and I think we shocked the servants."

"So once you left the pub quite drunk you went home and kept on drinking."

"Why do you think so?"

"What else would you three have been doing in the library?"

"We all like to read."

"Yes. But not when you are drunk. You like to keep on drinking then. Our boys are rather like you in that aspect. Although not only in that aspect."

"I hope so, because I wouldn't have done a very good job if that was the only thing they had learned from me."

"They've learned a lot more from you than that. You have done a very good job. Neither one of those boys would be what they are today if it wasn't for you. And the same goes for all our girls. Don't ever doubt that you are a good father. Because you are. You are a wonderful father."

"I have been trying my best."

"You were very successful. You still are. It is one of the reasons I love you so much."

"But you loved me before we had children."

"I knew you'd be a good father. I knew that before I fell in love with you. I wouldn't have married you had I thought that you wouldn't be a good father. That was even more important to me than a title."

"Kiss me."


	59. Chapter 59

July 1924

_Matthew and Mary_

"It's nice to have another baby in the house."

"Yes. And another girl."

"I have stopped counting the girls and women around me. But they are all lovely and you are the loveliest one of them all."

"I doubt it."

"Why?"

"I am 33 years old."

"That means that you have at least 50 more years to live. And I will spend them with you."

"I am getting old."

"No darling. You are just becoming more beautiful every day."

"Matthew, don't lie to me. I am not that beautiful anymore. I've had four children. You can still see it."

"Mary, I am serious. You couldn't be more beautiful."

"Thank you darling. I know you are only saying it because you are my husband but I appreciate it nonetheless. Do you know what they are going to name her?"

"No. And since it does not seem to be a tradition in this family to name children after someone else, I have no idea either. I didn't want to ask Michael. I was afraid that he had his heart set on a boy."

"I doubt it. The only ones who really needed a son was us. And we accomplished that mission on our first try. I can't believe he is ten."

"Neither can I. He was so small and so helpless. And I was so helpless too. I was so scared to hold him the first few days. I thought I'd break him. And then I had to leave and miss the first four years of my son's life."

"Matthew, don't dwell on that. You did what you had to do. And I wrote to you about him and later Lizzie as much as I could."

"Many of the other soldiers didn't believe me when told them that your letters were so long because you told me everything about our children. They thought we were plotting something. And they couldn't believe that I enjoyed reading about those little details of their lives. But I did. I still have all those letters."

"I still have all your letters."

"Considering why we got married, we've turned into a rather sentimental couple."

"Yes. Could you have imagined that? The Lady Mary Crawley you met in 1912 being here with you like this?"

"The one who told me that 'this was a complete joke'?"

"Yes."

"No. I thought you despised me."

"I did. But you won me over."

"Thankfully. 12 years and four children ago."

"Matthew?"

"Hm?"

"Would you like to have another child?"

"No. We've decided to leave it at four."

"I know. But if you've changed your mind"

"I haven't and I never will. Dr. Clarkson said that another birth would be very dangerous for you. I am beyond happy with the four children we have got. They are wonderful, being their father is wonderful. And I won't risk you."

"But you'd like to have another baby. I saw it when you looked at Edith' little girl. There was so much longing on your face."

"Mary, if everything was perfectly all right, if Claire's birth hadn't been such a disaster, I probably would want another child. I can't deny that and I won't lie to you about that."

"Matthew, we could try."

"No Mary, no. I'd much rather have four children and my wife than five children and no wife."

"That was the loveliest thing you ever said to me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Matthew I know how much you would like another child. But you are willing to give up on that dream for me."

"I'd do anything for you. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Kiss me."


	60. Chapter 60

_Robert and Cora_

"I met Anthony Strallan today."

"Where?"

"In London."

"What did he say?"

"That he was surprised to see me. And he asked how I was doing and how the girls were, how you were, how my mother was. I told him that everything was well. I hoped he'd leave after that but he sat down at my table. I was just about to have lunch, so he had lunch with me."

"That must have been rather uncomfortable."

"It was very uncomfortable. What do you say to man who jilted your daughter at the altar?"

"Wasn't Tom with you?"

"He was running late."

"Anthony started apologizing and told me that he had travelled through Europe almost the whole time since leaving the church. And that he never regretted anything as much as not marrying Edith."

"It is a little late for that."

"I told him so. He knew that she was working as a journalist. He said he liked her column. I told him that he had hurt very much but that she was happily married now and had two adorable daughters. I told him that she had married her editor but used her maiden name for her articles still. He was rather shocked."

"What happened then?"

"Tom showed an impeccable knack for timing. He came to our table, said 'Hello Dad', sat down, finished my drink for me, looked at me and asked 'what's he doing here?' I was torn between admonishing him for his behavior and laughing at the show he put on. So all I said was 'Tom'. You should have seen Anthony's face. He tried to keep his countenance but not very successfully."

"Robert, you amaze me."

"Why?"

"Because only a few years ago you'd have been very mad at Tom instead of very proud of him."

"Times have changed my dear and you are no longer the only one of us living in the 20th century."

"I like you in the 20th century."

"Good. Because I am not planning on leaving it anytime soon."

"Kiss me."

"No. I am not finished yet."

"Sorry."

"Don't ever say sorry for wanting me to kiss you."

"Robert. Focus on your story."

"Yes. Anthony wants to meet Edith."

"What? Is he mad?"

"That is exactly what Tom said when Anthony told us. And I am glad he said it, because I was too shocked to say anything. I told him not to do so or at least to write her a letter first but he is quite determined."

"Are you going to tell Edith about all of this?"

"Mary and Sybil will. Tom has told them already and I think they are going to London tomorrow to talk to her. And offer her to be there, should Anthony really come to visit her."

"I'm glad she's got her sisters' support. It wasn't always like that."

"No. Especially not between Mary and Edith. I think we have to thank Matthew for Mary's changed behavior towards Edith."

"Matthew has changed Mary. For the better. I sometimes think that she was a rough diamond when he proposed and he polished her into a sparkling jewel."

"For a long time I thought she was a mixture of my mother and sister. And that we may have let her spend too much time with them. But she is a lot like you."

"She's a lot like you too. Will you kiss me now?"

"Yes."


	61. Chapter 61

October 1924

_Matthew and Mary_

"How was it in London?"

"Matthew, if one of our children ever gets jilted at the altar, promise me that you will do something very painful to the person who did it to them."

"I'd give them a proper dressing down."

"Which can be rather painful when given by you."

"I hope so. I am a lawyer. Anyway. Tell me."

"He really showed up there Matthew. And he told Edith that he still loves her and that he regrets jilting her and that he couldn't live without her anymore."

"What did Edith say?"

"That he hurt her very much but that she has forgiven him for it because him jilting her led to the life she was leading now. And that it was a very happy life."

"That was a good comeback."

"Yes it was. Sybil and I are rather proud of her."

"Because that is exactly what you two would have said."

"In different words but essentially, yes. But Edith is now afraid that she has hurt Anthony too much. I told her that wasn't possible but she is afraid he might kill himself. She thinks he was serious when he said that he couldn't live without her."

"What do you think?"

"I don't think so. He might leave England again, he might never be happy again, but it is his own fault. He hurt her worse than she has ever been hurt by anyone else. And he couldn't honestly have expected her to wait for him for four and a half years or to give up her marriage for him."

"Does Michael know about all of this?"

"Yes. She told him everything. I suggested they come here for the weekend. Well, I actually told them to come with us straight away but they couldn't leave right away. But they'll come tomorrow."

"Mary?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"Why?"

"Right now? Because you care so much about a sister you used to almost hate."

"You've changed me, life's changed her. We get along now. We wouldn't be friends if we weren't sisters, but we are sisters. And as my sister I want her to be happy."

"Kiss me."


	62. Chapter 62

November 1924

_Cora and Robert _

"What has gotten you into such a state?"

"Matthew."

"What has he done?"

"Disrespected and disregarded everything that I have ever taught him, everything that this family stands for, everything that we live for."

"Robert whatever it is, I am sure that he didn't mean to do that."

"Cora, don't defend that boy to me. He does not deserve that. He went behind my back in the worst possible manner."

"What can he possibly have done to make you so mad? Has he sold the estate and didn't tell you? Do we all have to pack tomorrow?"

"Don't joke now. Please."

"All right. I am sorry. But please tell me."

"He plans to smash the entail."

"He can't. We've tried it."

"No, not like that. He'll leave that be. But he wants to change what happens to the estate after it has passed to him. He wants to separate the title from the estate."

"But that is exactly what we"

"Not we. You and my mother. And if you want me to tell you, stop interrupting me."

"Robert, I"

"Do you want to hear or not?"

"Yes."

"Then stop talking."

"All right. But you'll hear about this later."

"Even if you've muttered that last sentence, I heard it. And we'll see. Maybe you'll understand why I am so mad. Matthew's idea is to pass the title and estate to George because he is his son. Should George have a son it would just both title and estate would be passed on the same way. But in the event that George didn't have son but one or more daughters, the estate would go to the eldest daughter."

"And the title would go to his nearest male relative."

"That is one of Matthew's possible solutions. But not the one he prefers. His preference is to let the earldom lapse in case title and estate have to be separated. I can't believe that he even thinks about something like this. How can he be so disloyal?"

"I think he is very loyal. Towards his family. He thinks it would be better to let the earldom lapse than to give everything he has worked so hard for to a complete stranger."

"But that is exactly how he will get it. I told him so and all he said was that it wasn't his fault that my father tied such a tight knot."

"He is right about that."

"Yes. But he wants to become the earl now, he told me so. So he has no right whatsoever to make such outrageous plans. And I won't stand for them. As long as I am alive he needs my permission to make such a substantial change. And he won't get it. And I have no idea why he wants to do this at all. Even if George never had son, he has got three siblings and three cousins. One of them is bound to have a son."

"And then what? He could marry his daughter off to the future earl then, so that everything would stay in the family?"

"It is exactly what happened to Matthew and Mary. And he is not complaining about his marriage to Mary."

"No. But neither one of them felt comfortable with the arrangement. Mary would have preferred to be the heiress. And I wanted that for her too. And this would be fairer to the girls in the family."

"Girls are supposed to marry well."

"Robert I can't believe you've said that."

"That's the way it is."

"A few weeks ago you told me that you had finally arrived in the 20th century. You've walked straight back into the 19th. What about women's rights?"

"I am in favor of them."

"But if you are saying that a girl cannot inherit the estate because she can't inherit the title, then you are not in favor of women's rights."

"But that is different."

"No it isn't. Girls should be allowed to inherit just as much as boys."

"You are becoming all American again."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"Well, I am American."

"And that gives you the right to support something as ridiculous as Matthew's proposal?"

"No. Because I don't think it is ridiculous. But I was an heiress in my own right and I can tell you that I did not enjoy watching all my money being singed away because my father thought that I needed a title."

"What? How can you say that?"

"Because it is the truth, Robert. I did not enjoy that particular part of our marriage."

"So you regret it."

"Of course I don't. But I would liked to have kept what was rightfully mine."

"Oh, you would."

"Yes. The money has been put to good use and I would never have spent even a tenth of it by myself but I felt robbed the day my father signed that contract."

"So you think I stole your money."

"No."

"You just said you felt robbed."

"That is not the same."

"Yes it is. And you weren't robbed. You bought a title."

"No. I didn't buy a title. My father bought it for me. With my money, mind you. If it had been my decision I would have gotten married in America where I could have kept my money."

"What?"

"I didn't want to marry into the English aristocracy. My mother dragged me over here because that was my father wanted. And nominally the money was still his, so I did what I was told. I didn't have a chance, Robert. And if my great-granddaughters were spared such an experience, I'd be very happy about it."

"You wanted to marry an American."

"Of course."

"Did you have anyone particular in mind?"

"No. Robert, I was 19. What did you expect?"

"I expected you not to ruin 35 years of what I thought was a very happy marriage."

"What?"

"It's what you've just done. I'll sleep in my dressing room. And don't come knocking. I don't want to see you or talk to you."

"Robert, darling"

"Don't ever call me that again."


	63. Chapter 63

November 1924

_Mary and Matthew_

"Matthew Reginald Crawley. How could you?"

"How could I what?"

"Do that!"

"Do what?"

"Tell my father that you want to smash the entail."

"It's the most sensible thing to do."

"Smashing the entail or telling my father about it?"

"Smashing the entail. If George doesn't have"

"Matthew I know. I was given a very detailed account of your plans by Tom. And while I agree with them in essentials, telling my father about those plans was the worst thing you could have done to him."

"Should I have gone behind his back? I need his permission."

"You should have waited until you were the earl. It would have been your right then."

"But it would have been horrible to have such a plan and not tell your father about it."

"No Matthew, it would have been kind. When Granny, Mama and Papa were fighting about whether to give title and estate to you or to try to smash the entail, I heard my father say that he had given his life to Downton, that it was his third parent and his fourth child. That is how strongly he feels about it. All of it. And you told him that you wanted to take it away from him."

"Mary, I"

"Don't interrupt me, I am not finished yet. Matthew, my father loves you. To him you are his son. He'd do almost everything for you. And he thought that you thought of him like a father and it made him very happy. But what you have done has caused him to think that you don't. My father thinks that his oldest son, the one he has known the longest, has gone behind his back to disrespect and disregard everything, everything that he has ever taught him."

"I had no idea he'd feel that way."

"No? Tom said he'd warned you."

"He didn't put it like that though."

"Matthew, you have to find a way to apologize to Papa, to make him see that you do think of him as your father, that you do love him. And that you respect him for what he is. Because I know you do."

"Of course I do. I'll try to make to right."

"Good. And while you do that, I'll try to make my mother see sense. They haven't spoken in a week and it can't go on like this. It just can't."


	64. Chapter 64

December 1924

_Robert and Tom_

"Tom"

"Robert. How are you?"

"As can be expected."

"So you are still avoiding talking to either Matthew or Cora."

"Cora doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know if I'd talk to her. But I certainly don't want to talk to Matthew."

"If you don't give him the chance to talk to you he can't apologize."

"Is that what you think he wants to do?"

"It is what I know he wants to do."

"Because Mary is making him."

"No."

"Yes. She told me she talked to him. Of course she is making him."

"She did talk to him. She is not making him do it. But she explained to him why you are so hurt."

"If he needs explaining"

"He is a radical in some ways and he doesn't always see aspects besides business and practicability. He tends to forget about traditions."

"He does."

"But that doesn't mean that he disrespects them. Or you."

"I am not so sure about that."

"Papa, Matthew didn't think it through. He had a goal in mind and checked the legal aspects and it fit. That doesn't mean that he doesn't respect you. He knows you love him like a son and he loves you like a father. And so do I. And as your son, I am telling you, no giving you the advice, to give Matthew the chance to say what he wants to say."

"I'd have never thought that you'd be the one who understood me better. You are a socialist."

"A very tame one."

"I must be mad. Letting my estate be managed by a socialist."

"And a country lawyer. And we don't manage it by ourselves. We've got you. Talk to Matthew, please."


	65. Chapter 65

December 1924

_Matthew and Robert_

"Papa"

"Don't call me that."

"All right. Robert. Please, listen to me."

"Why should I?"

"Because there is something important I want to say."

"All right then, go ahead and tell me what Mary and Tom have told you to tell me."

"They haven't told me what to tell you. They have made me see things more clearly. And I am sorry about what I have said. But I am even sorrier about having made you think that I went behind your back. I would never do something like that. I can't really remember my father. I was five when he died. All I remember are a few blurred images of Sunday breakfasts with my parents. But I am not fatherless. You have filled that role in my life when I needed it the most, when I was thrown towards a future I would never have dreamed of and I wasn't prepared for. I know that I sometimes forget about the more traditional aspects. And I did in this respect. I won't try to smash the entail. I'll find different ways to support the girls of this family."

"And you think that this will make it better? Because it doesn't. You have broken my trust Matthew. I won't ever forget that. And I want control over Julia's money again."

"You can have it. I'll give the paper work to you later today."

"I damn well can have it. She's my daughter and her money is not your responsibility anymore."

"If that's what you want"

"What I want is for you to not be involved in anything concerning the estate anymore. I am taking the responsibility for the estate's finances and its legal matters away from you. You will give all the paperwork to Tom in an hour. And you won't ever touch it again until I am dead. I can't stop you from becoming the earl, but I wish I could."

"Papa, you don't mean that."

"Stop calling me that. And yes, I do mean that. And if you weren't married to my daughter, I'd make you leave this house too. But I won't do that to Mary. She doesn't deserve it."

"I don't deserve this either. I'll give all the paperwork to Tom, don't worry. I know I hurt you and I apologized for it. I do not deserve this treatment."

_Robert and Cora_

"And what do you want?"

"Robert, Matthew"

"Don't get involved, it is none of your business. What do you want?"

"Talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. You are no better than Matthew. You are just as disloyal."

"Robert, please"

"No. Don't even try to pretend to be nice to me. You have no reason to. I stole all your money, remember?"

"No I don't and you have willfully understood what I said. Anyway, don't forget that we've been invited to the Feversham's Christmas party next week and we have to go there together. In the same car."

"Well, I'm looking forward to it."

"Don't be so sarcastic Robert."

"Leave me alone."


	66. Chapter 66

December 1924

_Mary and Robert_

"Papa, are you all right?"

"Mary."

"Papa, how much have you had to drink?"

"I don't know."

"Give that glass to me. I'll ring for water."

"Mary I am not a child."

"No. But you are pretty drunk."

"Pretty drunk is an American expression. It's what you mother would say. She won't ever talk to me again, I think."

"I don't think so. She will talk to you again. Why should she not?"

"Because, I forgot why. Something about America and money."

"Papa. We have to get you to bed. Mama will have a fit if you are still hung over by the time you have to leave tomorrow."

"Where are you taking me?"

"Into Matthew's dressing room. He can get changed in my room. And Mama doesn't need to know how drunk you are. You'll be throwing up a lot tonight."

"What will you tell her?"

"That you didn't feel well and I knew you had had a fight and that because you both need to cool off I decided to take care of you. That is true. I just won't mention the alcohol."

"Mary, thank you."

"You're welcome. Call me when you need anything."

_Matthew and Mary_

"Why is your father sleeping in my bed?"

"Do you need it?"

"Of course not. But why is he in there?"

"Because he got drunk."

"I've noticed. The smell is unbearable."

"I don't want Mama to see him like that. They had a huge fight."

"I had a fight with him too. And I have to see him like that? And hear him throw up? Because that's what he'll do."

"That is different. You aren't married to him."

"No, But he said things to me"

"You've already told me. And I will talk to him about, I promise."

"Thank you darling."

_Robert and Mary_

"Mary?"

"Yes?"

"Would you give me some water please?"

"There you go."

"What time is it?"

"8 am."

"I have to get up."

"You better don't. You are in a bad state. Matthew wanted to call Dr. Clarkson. But I told him not to."

"Why does Matthew care?"

"Because to all intends and purposes, you are his father."

"Haha"

"No Papa. I'm serious. Think about his apology. Please."

"All right."

"Without Matthew, I wouldn't have been able to take care of you. Sybil gave you some medicine. But you needed constant observation. Matthew and I took turns."

"Thank him for me then."

"Thank him yourself."

"I won't"

"You will."

"How do you know?"

"You haven't talked to him in almost three weeks. You miss him. Almost as much as you miss Mama, whom you haven't talked to either in the past three weeks and hurt even more than you hurt Matthew."

"They both hurt me."

"Not intentionally. But you have been ignoring them intentionally. And that hurts them."

"What do you think I should do?"

"Apologize to Matthew first. Then use tonight to make thinks right with Mama. If you tell her that you and Matthew have talked, it might appease her."

"I don't think so. She told me"

"She told you nothing you didn't know. Did you really think that she liked signing her money away to a man she hardly knew and didn't love? Did you think she left America thinking 'jolly good, I'll meet Lord Downton, future Earl of Grantham, love of my life? She did what her parents asked of her. You did what your parents asked of you. It was a marriage of convenience that turned into a wonderful love match. But if you and Mama don't work it out, you will ruin it. And you can only work it out if you make the first step."

"What do you know about it?"

"I married Matthew almost 13 years ago."

"I keep forgetting why you got married."

"I don't. But it doesn't matter because I love him now. I've loved him for most of our marriage. It's the same with you and Mama. But you have to apologize."

"I'll think about it."

"I am making progress then."


	67. Chapter 67

December 1924

_Matthew and Robert_

"How are you?"

"I deserve what I got, let's put it that way."

"Horrible, then."

"Is that what you think I deserve?"

"Considering how much alcohol you drank last night? Yes. Why did you do that? You know how you feel the next day."

"Because I was. I don't know what I was. Disappointed, frustrated. Something like that."

"And alcohol is a solution to your problems."

"Of course not. But I thought it would help me forget."

"Did it?"

"Of course not. It made me even broodier. If Mary hadn't stumbled upon me, I'd still be in the library."

"She didn't stumble upon you, she found you. She was looking for you."

"How do you know? Did she tell you?"

"No. I told her to go looking for you. I had a feeling you might do something stupid."

"Why?"

"Because I heard how you talked to Cora. I have never heard you to talk to anyone like that, least of all her. I knew that you couldn't be doing well."

"I owe her an apology, I think."

"A major one."

"I owe you an apology too."

"Yes you do."

"I am sorry Matthew. I don't want you to relinquish control over anything. Not over the estate's finances and legal matters and not over Julie's money either."

"So I can ask Tom to return all the paperwork to me?"

"Yes. I suppose he hasn't touched it."

"No. He asked me if there was anything important coming up and if there was what he was supposed to do about it if we hadn't made up by then."

"Tom is rather smart."

"Yes."

"Matthew, I am sorry about the things I said to you. I was shocked by what you wanted to do, but I forgot that you have a different view of things. You have to have, you weren't born into the aristocracy, but I keep forgetting that too."

"Papa, I know. I know it was a stupid notion and that it hurt you. I won't do it. I promise."

"Not even when you are the earl."

"No. I've decided to leave that decision to George, who was born into the aristocracy."

"Thank you, son."

"Go back to sleep for another hour. Tom and I will take you out then. You need some fresh air to get rid of your hangover. And probably some food too. You and Cora have to go to that Christmas party later today."


	68. Chapter 68

December 1924

_Cora and Mary_

"Where is your father?"

"His got some estate business with Tom and Matthew."

"Over lunch. Two days before Christmas."

"Yes. Matthew said it was on the other side of the estate, so they'll have lunch in the pub."

"Your father is having lunch in a pub with both Tom and Matthew."

"Yes."

"I thought he and Matthew were fighting."

"They made up."

"He got drunk and they are helping him to get rid of his hangover."

"Matthew hardly ever gets drunk."

"Neither does your father. And you know I mean him. But he didn't sleep in his room last night."

"He didn't feel well and didn't want to bother you. So he slept somewhere else."

"Where?"

"In Matthew's room. He never needs it."

"Mary, don't lie to me. He either got drunk, really slept in Matthew's room and you and Matthew and probably Sybil helped him or he went to bed with another woman and you are covering it up. As I know that he would never go to bed with another woman, he must have been drunk."

"Mama, you are being unfair."

"Mary, I know you and most of all I know your father. He was in a horrible mood last night. He had a fight with Matthew and with me. He got drunk. And you took care of him because you didn't want to drive a further wedge between us."

"What would you do if that was true?"

"Pity your father, because it will be rather loud tonight. People will be shouting at the party because most of the guests are so old that they are all hard-of-hearing. We will be the youngest ones there."

"Tom and Matthew have taken him to the pub. They've walked part of the way and Sybil has given him some medicine. He'll be alright tonight."

"Good."

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"I'll have to. The drive there is almost an hour. I might be able to feign sleep on the way back but not on the way there. Although your father might sleep on the way there."

"Mama, stubbornness won't get you anywhere."

"You are one to talk."

"I am not stubborn when it comes to Matthew. Well, not as much as I usually am."

"Are you planning on giving me a lecture on marital harmony?"

"No. You know all about it."


	69. Chapter 69

December 1925

_Cora and Robert_

"How are you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"What do you think why?"

"Because Mary can't keep a secret from you."

"Well"

"It's true. I know our daughter. She is good at keeping secrets in general but she can't keep them from you or Matthew."

"I suppose I can't deny that."

"My head still hurts and I still feel dizzy."

"The drive is an hour Robert, go to sleep. Don't feel obligated to talk to me. Please. If you feel like sleeping, I won't be mad. I promise"

"Thank you darling."

…

"Robert, we'll be there in ten minutes. Wake up. You shouldn't look too sleepy."

"All right. Thank you."

"Are you feeling better?"

"A little. Your dress looks a bit rumpled."

"Yes. You fell onto my shoulder. I didn't want to wake you."

"That was very nice of you."

"I didn't want to be embarrassed by you looking too hung over."

….

"I'm glad that's over."

"Robert, it wasn't that bad."

"You aren't hung over."

"Neither are you anymore."

"No."

"Do you want to talk or keep on fighting?"

"I don't know. I am not sure what to say to you, Cora."

"How about 'I am sorry and I love you'?"

"Hm"

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Hm"

"Robert, you can't tell me you don't love me anymore. Because you wouldn't lie about something like that."

"Of course I love you. I'll always love you, no matter what you do or say."

"Robert, I am sorry that what I said hurt you so much. But I only told you what I felt before our wedding, before I left America. Had I known then that I would find and marry the love of my life, even if in a slightly backwards order, I'd have looked forward to all of this tremendously. But I didn't know that. I only realized that you were indeed the love my life when we were already married. How was I to know how happy we would be when I watched my father sign that contract? He didn't only sign my money away, he signed my life away. That signature meant that I would have to live in England for the rest of my life. I hoped that you were nice enough to let me return to America for a few months once in while, and I knew I was hoping with reason. But that was it. I was more or less happy that I was going to marry someone my own age, someone I could talk to without flinching. But that was it. And I was scared Robert, so scared. I hadn't been groomed to be a countess and I thought that your mother was right when she said that I wasn't fit for that role. I was scared that if I disappointed you, you'd hate me after all."

"You could never disappoint me and I could never hate you."

"Is that really how you felt when that bloody contract was signed?"

"No. I hoped I would never hate you but I wasn't completely sure. I couldn't be sure, I hardly knew you."

"Now imagine you had to give up your family, your friends, everything you knew for me at that moment. How would you have felt?"

"I am sorry Cora. I really am. I know you didn't mean what you said the way I understood it. I was just so disappointed by Matthew's suggestion and so hurt by it. I had hoped that you would agree with me that Matthew's suggestions were outrageous, but of course you didn't. Just like him, you weren't born into the aristocracy. You are bound to think about these things differently. And I am glad that you, Matthew and Tom do think differently. It's what has saved the estate numerous times. And my personal happiness depends on you not being an aristocrat. There are so many 'society rules' you don't believe in. If we had lived by all the rules, if you hadn't made me stay in your room after our wedding night and many nights after that until I didn't have to be made to stay anymore, if you hadn't been so American, I would never have opened up to you the way I did. And if I hadn't done that, we wouldn't have had the marriage we have. We'd have a marriage maybe not as bad as Susan and Shrimpie but like most of those other couples we met tonight. Bounded together for life with nothing left to say to each other for the rest of it. But that is not how it turned out for us."

"No, it didn't. My father did me a favor when he signed my life away. Because he didn't sign it away from me, he signed it to us, to a very happy marriage."

"Darling, I am sorry about all the things I said to you. Of course you didn't ruin our marriage, how could you. And I am sorry for the way I ignored you for the past three weeks and for the way I talked to you yesterday. You did not deserve that."

"No I didn't. But I accept your apology because I know that it is heartfelt."

"Of course it is."

"And because I can't go on living like the past three weeks. It was the longest fight we ever had."

"And we'll ever have. I promise, I won't behave like that ever again."

"Kiss me."

"All right."

"That wasn't a proper kiss, darling."

"We'll be home in five minutes. I'll kiss you properly when we are in our room. I have a lot to make up for."

"Yes you do."

"I love you"

"I love you too."


	70. Chapter 70

**AN**: This chapter is rather pointless, but I like fluff, so there you are ;)

Thank you for all the views! So far there have been over 38.000 which is about ten times more than I expected! And thank you for the reviews as well, they are what keeps me writing!

Kat

* * *

December 1924

_Mary and Matthew_

"And again, we began the Christmas festivities by me being at the breakfast table by myself with Granny and my parents conspicuously absent."

"Mary, it can't have been that bad."

"No? Then I suppose there was no reason why you, Tom and Sybil all fled the room as soon as Granny had entered. And don't claim work. You are not working right now."

"We thought you could handle it best."

"Edith and Michael are coming today. I will make Edith stay at that table with me if they don't come down breakfast tomorrow."

"Why do you think they didn't come today?"

"Because they were doing what we did not do so that we would be downstairs on time."

"So you think they've stopped fighting?"

"I know they stopped fighting. I went to my father's room this morning and he didn't sleep in his bed. I wanted to see if he was all right. Apparently he is. I will give those two a piece of my mind when I see them next."

"I thought this development would make you happy."

"It makes me very happy. In most aspects. But having to listen to Granny going on about why she thinks that my parents shouldn't be doing what they are obviously doing is not exactly enjoyable for a number of reasons."

"I am sure."

"Don't laugh at me Matthew."

"I am not laughing at you. I only thought that if we were lucky, Lizzie might say the same in ten or twenty years' time about us."

"Yes. She'll say it to your mother because by the rate they are going my parents will still not show up for breakfast by then."

"Kiss me."

"No. I have to brave the storm and get my parents out of bed. And they have to be dressed and downstairs before lunch."

"Why don't you let the servants do it? It's not as if it was a secret that your parents sleep in the same room. And Anna wakes both of us every day."

"Yes darling. But if Baxter goes in there, they'll just say that they will get up and won't do it. Especially not when they've just made up after a fight."

"Good luck."

"Thank you. I'll need it."

_Mary and Cora_

"Mama, Papa you have to get up now."

"Mary, please don't yell like that."

"Where's Papa? I thought he had slept here."

"He did. He's in the bathroom."

"Good."

"He'll come back in here."

"I gathered as much."

"So you might want to leave."

"No, I don't. I want you to get up. I've already had to listen to Granny talking about your 'newly-wed behavior' at breakfast. I won't listen to it at lunch."

"Mary, we will come downstairs."

"Can you promise that? Mama?"

_Robert and Mary_

"What are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too, dearest Papa."

"Good morning. What are you doing here?"

"Getting you out of bed. You have to be downstairs for lunch or Granny will have a fit. And so will I. I am going to send up Baxter and Bates right now."

"Mary,"

"No. Papa, please. You know Granny. And Isobel will be here too. Please."

"All right."

_Cora and Robert_

"You are such a spoilsport. I thought you didn't want to get up yet."

"I don't. But Mary is right. What are we supposed to do?"

"I could come up with something that would be more fun that having lunch with your mother and Isobel."

"I am sure of that. But we'd face Mary's wrath."

"It would be worth it."

"I am sure of that too. But the children will wonder where we are. Julie might come in here, looking for us. We'd scar her for life."

"All right my dear, you win."

"It's bound to happen once in a while."


	71. Chapter 71

AN: Two more chapters of fluff for you today :)

* * *

March 1925

_Matthew and Mary_

"You won't believe what my mother has just announced to me."

"What?"

"She's getting married again."

"To Dr. Clarkson I guess."

"Yes."

"Well, that's good news."

"I suppose so."

"Matthew, are you alright?"

"Yes. It's just, I'll have a stepfather."

"Matthew, you are 36 years old. You are the father of four children. Having a stepfather should not bother you."

"I know. But it does. A little. I like Dr. Clarkson, he's nice and he'll be good to her. But it just feels strange. I suppose I'll just have to get used to the thought."

"Yes. But be happy for your mother."

"I am happy for her."

"Good."

"She might ask you to be maid of honor."

"Shouldn't her best friend be her maid of honor?"

"That would be your granny. I somehow don't see that happening."

"No. You are right."

"She wants me to give her away."

"That's nice."

"Yes. But Dr. Clarkson wants me to be his best man. So what am I to do? Who do I say no to?"

"Papa can give her away. He's got practice."

"Do you think he would do that?"

"I don't see why not."


	72. Chapter 72

June 1925

_Cora and Robert_

"That was a nice wedding."

"Yes."

"Very romantic."

"Do you think so?"

"They've known each other for 13 years. And then realized they were in love. They were even slower than you."

"I was a lot faster than that."

"I was joking, darling."

"I know."

"Why are you so pensive?"

"I was thinking about our wedding."

"That was a much grander affair."

"And a lot less romantic."

"Robert, please stop thinking about it. We'll celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary in a few weeks. Out of those 36 years, we were blissfully happy for more than 35."

"I know. But I still feel guilty about it. If I had realized how lucky I was to have you, if we hadn't rushed the wedding the way we did, we could have gotten married out of love. I stole that from you."

"Darling, you didn't steal anything."

"How about we go away for our anniversary?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Paris or Rome?"

"It'll be too hot in Rome."

"Paris then?"

"Yes. Kiss me."


	73. Chapter 73

October 1925

_Robert and Cora_

"Who called so late at night?"

"My brother."

"What did he… Cora, are you alright?"

"My mother is dead."

"I am sorry, so sorry."

"She had a stroke and just died. There were no signs of it prior to her having it. He said they could wait six days at most with the funeral. I have to leave tomorrow morning and try to get on a ship that goes straight to New York. Without stopping in Ireland."

"I'll come with you."

"What about Julie?"

"We'll leave her here. Her sisters will keep an eye on her."

"My brother has no one left. Except for me."

"I know darling. We'll offer him to come back with us for a while."

"Thank you. We have to tell the girls."

"I will tell them very early tomorrow morning. I'll wake them and tell them. After that we can say goodbye to them and the boys and leave. I'll give Edith a call, we can't go to see her first, but I am sure she'll understand."

"Robert, would you leave me alone for a bit, please?"

"Of course darling. I have to go to Bates now anyway and tell him what happened. Would you like me to tell Baxter as well?"

"Yes. But take Moseley, not Bates."

"Why?"

"I don't know how long we'll have to stay in America. And Matthew won't mind."

"All right darling."

_Robert and Mary _

"Mary, wake up."

"What is it?"

"Come with me into the other room."

"Papa, what is it?"

"Your grandmother is dead."

"Which one?"

"The one in America."

"Oh, thank God. Oh no, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't apologize for that. It's only natural that you feel that way. And it is exactly what Sybil said. I thought you would say something like that, that's why I am telling you without your mother present. Listen. Your mother and I will leave on the six o'clock to go to Liverpool. We'll try to get on a ship that will arrive in New York before the funeral. We can't take Julie and we have no idea how long we will be gone. Your mother is very worried about her brother and I think with good reason. We are leaving Julie in your and Matthew's care. We might not be here for her birthday. Think of something nice please."

"I will, don't worry. Sybil and I will come up with something that will make her happy."

"Thank you. We'll leave in half an hour. Your mother wants to say goodbye to all of you. So please try to get your children and husband out of bed. And please tell Matthew that I am taking Moseley. Bates will take care of him. We didn't want to separate Anna and Bates for an indefinite amount of time."

"That was very nice of you, Papa."

"Your mother wants to speak to you. She is in her room."

"Would you wake Matthew then? Tell him what happened and to wake the children and about Moseley."

"Yes."

_Mary and Cora _

"Mama, may I come in?"

"Yes."

"I am sorry Mama."

"Thank you."

"Papa said you wanted to talk to me."

"Take care of Julie please."

"I will. Don't worry. And so will Matthew and Sybil and Tom."

"Make sure she attends her lessons."

"I will. She takes them with George, so that should not be a problem."

"We might not be here for her birthday."

"Papa already mentioned that and while I walked over here I came up with something. Sybil and I will take her to London. We'll take her to the cinema and shopping. We'll meet Edith there and stay with Aunt Rosamund. You could telephone her there on her birthday. And we'll have a big celebration when you are back. So don't worry."

"Thank you."

"How are you?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her in more than two years but right now I miss her incredibly."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No."

"I'll check on the children then. I love you, Mama."

"I love you too."


	74. Chapter 74

December 1925

_Robert and Matthew_

"Matthew"

"Papa, you're back. Why didn't you let us know? I'd have stayed home today to welcome you back. And return Downton to your care."

"Haha. I trust everything is well."

"With the estate? Of course. And everything else as well. All the children are healthy. Lizzie broke her arm last week but it's her own fault. She tried to stand up on a horse. We were worried of course, but she is such a tomboy, much more than Julie. I think Mary actually suffered more than Lizzie. She's rather proud of her cast though."

"Matthew, I need your help with something."

"With what?"

"Cora's mother's will. Or rather the lack thereof."

"She didn't have a will?"

"Apparently not. And we don't know how much money there actually is. Harold took care of it but I am afraid that he didn't do a very good job. I had a look at the books and to me it didn't look as if he was as careful as he should have been."

"How can I help? I suppose the books are in America?"

"No. Harold came home with us and I told him to take the books with him. I made sure he had everything. You might have your work cut out for you. I am sorry about giving you even more work but you are the only one I trust with this."

"I am the estate's lawyer after all. I'll do what I can."

"Thank you, son."

_Cora and Mary _

"Thank you for giving Julie the birthday of her life."

"I think she liked it."

"She loved it. She talked to me about it for over an hour. She is so proud of that necklace."

"It was Edith' idea, actually. One of the photographers at _The Sketch_ took the picture we put in the pendant. We've got a copy for you too."

"I know, Julie told me."

"Where is Papa?"

"Talking to Matthew I suppose. There was some trouble with my mother's will and her finances. Your father wants Matthew to take a look at it. He thinks that Matthew has his work cut out for him. Your uncle doesn't seem to have done a very good job with managing my mother's finances. And it seems as if she didn't have a will. So my father's will might become important. It's all rather confused."

"Matthew will figure it out."

"What would we do without your husband?"

"Be miserable and broke."


	75. Chapter 75

March 1926

_Matthew and Cora_

"Cora, do you have a minute?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"I have finally made sense of your family's finances and I thought I should tell you before I told Robert."

"That means that it doesn't look good."

"It looks very bleak. Your mother did not have a will but your father's will clearly states that everything will go to your brother because you already received your share of the inheritance in 1889 when your money was tied to this estate."

"That's what I expected. And I don't need any money. Robert is pretty rich."

"Yes. But your brother is not."

"I thought he had more money than Robert."

"He used to. But not anymore. He mismanaged everything. His own fortune and your mother's fortune as well. It's all gone. He couldn't touch most of your father's money, so that is still there. But Harold is in so much debt that he will need all of your father's money and the money that will hopefully come from selling your mother's houses in New York and New Port to pay off his debts. But he will still be left with next to nothing then. You should probably talk to Robert about giving your brother some support, but while you are right about Robert being very rich, most of his money is tied to the estate as much as yours, and some of it is in George's name."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Talk to Robert, see what he thinks. But your brother wants to go back to New York. I'd suggest you get him an apartment there and support him with some money each month. Don't give him a lump sum; your brother doesn't know anything about money or business."

_Cora and Robert_

"Has Matthew told you about my family's finances?"

"Yes. And I agree with his suggestion. We'll finance your brother's life in New York to some extent but we won't give him a lump sum."

"Thank you darling. All that money lost. It's unbelievable."

"It's not. The world of finances becomes more complicated every day. Matthew spends almost all of his time dealing with it. I was appalled in 1912 when I first heard that my heir was a lawyer with a specialty in industry. I am beyond thankful for that now. You can't trust anyone in the business world anymore. I've told Matthew that we do not only need to groom George to run this estate but Jamie as well. It is not possible to do so alone anymore. He agreed and said that he hopes that Lizzie has interest too. We'll see."

"You look worried."

"I am. I asked Matthew to go over Harold's books with me, to tell me where he went wrong, so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I know the finances are Matthew's responsibility but I still wanted to know. I would have made some of those mistakes and I told Matthew. He said that I wasn't the only one and that there is a danger that too many people who don't really know what they are doing are dabbling in the economy right now."

"And that has you worried."

"Cora, do you have any idea what this estate and all that belongs to it is worth? How much money we have saved?"

"Not really."

"It's much, much more than your inheritance was. But if the economy goes down, we might lose quite a bit of it."

"But why should that happen?"

"Because there are too many people like your brother. People who were raised believing that they were made for business, but they aren't."

"I thought Matthew had made precautions."

"Of course he has. We own half of what used to be the Shackleton's estate. It's all in George's name. And Matthew has invested money in very conservative enterprises and he keeps investing into this estate. Tom has suggested we buy the other half of the Shackleton estate as well. We could afford buying it, but Matthew isn't sure whether we could actually afford running it. And the house is on that part of the estate and we'd have no idea what to do with it."

"Keep it for Jamie."

"That's what Tom said. But Matthew isn't sure. He is still worried about death duties. Even if we bought it all in Geroge's name, eventually someone will have to pay death duties so high that it will ruin him."

"Then buy the other half and the house in Jamie's name. If it is supposed to be for him anyway"

"I'll suggest it to Matthew."

"Good. And now stop worrying darling. Please."

"I'll try. But I don't know how."

"Come to bed and kiss me."


	76. Chapter 76

August 1926

_Mary and Matthew_

"I can't believe that George will leave for school tomorrow."

"He's twelve darling, we have to let him go."

"I know. But I'll miss him."

"And he'll miss us. At first. He'll find friends and will want to bring them home for Christmas. And because there aren't enough children in this house already, we'll say yes."

"Or he'll want to spend Christmas at their house."

"I don't think so. Christmas at Downton in something special. Something he'll find nowhere else. And we want him to succeed. He will only be able to do that if goes to school."

"I know. And I am proud of him. He'll do very well."

"Yes, he will."

_Cora and Robert_

"Mary will miss George."

"We will all miss him."

"Yes. Julie wants to go to school too."

"I know. She told me. She wants to be a doctor."

"What do you think about it?"

"Cora, I don't know. I don't really want to send her to school. I want her here with us. But she is such a bright child. I sometimes wonder if we can provide the education she needs."

"You surprise me. I thought you'd be against it."

"I want to be against it. But I don't think I can. Richard said that he thinks that she would make an excellent doctor. He says that she already shows an aptitude for dealing with patients."

"Richard wants to make sure that the hospital will survive."

"Maybe. But Julie spends so much time there. He said that he keeps forgetting that she is not yet twelve. And she's talked about being a doctor for a year now. And even if in the end that is not what she'll do with her life, I wonder if it isn't our duty to give her the best possible education."

"Mary, Edith and Sybil didn't go to school."

"No, but Sybil wanted to, remember? At that time it was out of the question. But not anymore."

"We'd have to find the right school for her. She needs a school with a focus on the sciences. I have no idea whether such a school exists for girls at all."

"Maybe not as a boarding school, but I am sure we could find a school in London for her. She could live with Edith or Rosamund. Rosamund might actually enjoy having her there during the school year. And London isn't that far away. She could come home every weekend. Or we could visit her."

"Robert?"

"Yes?"

"When did you become a liberal?"

"What?"

"Letting your daughter go to school in London so she can become a doctor."

"It doesn't sound like me, does it?"

"I don't know. But it makes me love you."

"Then kiss me."


	77. Chapter 77

February 1927

_Cora and Robert_

"Julie's been gone a month now."

"And true to her word she has called us every day."

"I couldn't do this without a telephone."

"You'll have to."

"What?"

"Close your eyes darling. Good. Now give me your hand."

"What is this? We are going to America again?"

"Yes. Just you and me. With Julie at school there is no reason we shouldn't."

"I love you."

"I love you too. And I haven't had you to myself for such a long time. I miss you. Even with George at Eaton and Julie with Rosamund there are still a lot of people in this house. My mother, Isobel and Richard all come and go as they like nowadays. Edith and Michael spend more weekends here than in London. Tom's brother thinks that this house is a five star hotel he gets to stay in for free at least once a month. And I don't mind any of that, not even Kiernan, although he drives me up the wall. But it will only be a short time until both George and Julie will start to bring friends home for the weekend. Or the school holidays. This house will be even more crowded. And I like it. It makes me happy to see all those people around us. But sometimes I just want to spend some time with my wife. The house and estate are in good hands. Tom is making plans for the rebuilding of the Shackleton house, but he says he needs a few more months before any major decisions have to be made. And even if we weren't back by then, I am sure that the boys would know what to do."

"Where will we go?"

"To New York first. From there on it is up to you. We'll go where ever you want to go."

"Why Robert?"

"Because I love you and you deserve it."

"Kiss me."


	78. Chapter 78

October 1927

_Cora and Robert_

"Robert, darling, wake up."

"What?"

"Robert, I know you are tired. You've travelled for two days straight. But you have to wake up now."

"Cora, I know it is the middle of the day but I … What is it?"

"Your mother. She had a heart attack. She's on her way to the hospital. Or probably already there. Isobel just called. She was there when it happened."

"Oh God. We have to go the hospital."

"Not yet. Richard said she had to go into surgery. Sybil is working today, so she probably already knows what happened but the others don't and we have to tell them."

"Mary and Julie"

"Mary and Julie will probably take it the hardest, yes. But they have to know. Both of them."

"Cora, I can't stand this. What if she dies?"

"Then we will all be here for you. But she isn't dead yet. She might make it. Isobel recognized what had happened immediately. That might have saved her. But all we can do now is wait and pray."

"We have to call Rosamund. She'll want to come and she needs to bring Julie anyway. And we have to get George home too. And Edith and Michael and their girls."

"Yes. Tom and Matthew are in the library. I'll go and tell them. They can tell the others and organize everything."

"Thank you, darling."

_Matthew and Robert_

"I've called Rosamund, Edith, and the schools."

"Thank you."

"Rosamund, Julie and Edith are already on their way here. Michael has got his girls and he is waiting for George to arrive from Eaton. He'll pick him up in London, so George won't have to switch trains and we won't have to worry about picking him up from the station."

"Thank you."

"As soon as we know more, Tom will take you, Cora and Mary to the hospital. I'll stay here with the children. Michael might be coming here first to drop of his girls, I am not sure. But I want to be here in case he does, because if he comes here first, George will come here first too and I don't want him to arrive here with no one home. I am sure that Rosamund, Edith and Julie will come to the hospital right away. Lizzie wants to go to the hospital too but I've told her she couldn't right away. Depending on what happens, Michael and I will bring her along later on. The extra rooms we need are being made ready right now. So it's all under control."

"The telephone is ringing. I should answer it."

"Cora will do it and then tell you what they said."

_Cora and Robert_

"That was Isobel."

"What did she say?"

"That we should come to the hospital to see your mother. She is still alive but Richard won't make any predictions."

"Matthew said Tom would take us."

"Yes. He's already got the car out front."


	79. Chapter 79

October 1927

_Robert and Cora_

"What did she want?"

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"She asked me not to tell you Robert, but it wasn't about you. Please don't be offended. She almost died and there were a few things on her mind she needed to deal with."

"Something I should be worried about?"

"No."

"But you won't tell me."

"I promised her I wouldn't. All I can tell you is that it was about me."

"Has she reverted to criticizing you? Because if she has, I'll have words with her. Sick she might be but"

"No, darling. Nothing of the sort. Leave it be, please. Be happy that she made it through. It is almost a miracle."

"She told me she couldn't die because she promised Papa that she'd watch all their grandchildren get married."

"She'll be around for quite some time then."

"Thanks to Julie."

"Yes, thanks to our little girl."

"Cora, Richard said Mama couldn't live by herself anymore."

"We'll have to hire one or two nurses then."

"Yes. She doesn't want to stay at the Dower House."

"Where does she want to go?"

"I think you know, darling."

"She wants to move back into the Abbey."

"Yes. I know you aren't very keen on my mother living with us and to be honest neither am I."

"But you don't think we can say no."

"She's my mother, Cora."

"I know. But you have to explain to her that she won't be treated like a guest. She'll have to live by our rules. She'll have to accept that most dinners aren't white tie and that Lizzie always eats with us when there are no guests and that so do George and Julie when they are home. And that sometimes Katie and Jamie are allowed to eat with us too. She'll have to accept that neither Mary nor I will go downstairs for breakfast every morning, that every member of the family and every member of staff has the right to take books from the library, that we allow George and Julie to bring home their friends and that we allow Kiernan to stay if he feels like it. That sometimes you whisk me off for a night or two."

"I'll explain it to her. I think she'll accept it. Grudgingly and not without comment, but she'll accept it."

"She'll probably find out how much control we have given to Matthew, Mary and Tom. She won't approve."

"She'll have to. She knows that I have relinquished some of my power over the estate, she just doesn't know how much. But we won't have to explain it to her in detail."

"No. But considering how often you take me away for a day or two, she will find out that it is effectively Matthew and Mary and to some extent Tom who are running the house and the estate. At least on a day to day basis."

"I think she knows that. Even if I don't always tell her when we go away, she knows that we do so a lot more than we used to. And if it doesn't suit her, I'll tell her that I prefer Mary and Matthew to have gotten a lot of practice before they really have to run it all by themselves."

"She might swallow that."

"She'll have to. She can live with us but I won't have her decide how we live. I enjoy spending time with you alone too much for that."

"I love you."

"Good. Kiss me."


	80. Chapter 80

March 1928

_Mary and Matthew_

"15 years, darling."

"I know. See the grey hair? It's your fault. Being married to you gives me grey hair."

"One grey hair. I must have been a very good wife then."

"The best one, darling."

"Good. Because I put in a lot of effort."

"I know. And I love you for it."

"You are an acceptable husband as well."

"Only acceptable?"

"Well, maybe a little more than that."

"How much more?"

"Infinitely more."

"Now you're talking. I've got a surprise for you."

"What?"

"I am taking you to Paris. Today."

"You can't. George and Julie are coming home to celebrate our anniversary with us."

"No. They'll come here two weeks from today. We'll have the party then. Today, we'll go to Paris."

"They lied to me then, both of them."

"They didn't lie, they were in on the secret. Just as the rest of the family."

"I know darling, I was joking. It's a wonderful idea."

"A wonderful idea for a wonderful wife."

"Do we have time for?"

"Yes. Kiss me."


	81. Chapter 81

June 1928

_Matthew and Mary_

"I've thought about something."

"What?"

"I think we should send Lizzie to school as well. To Julie's school I mean."

"Does she want to go there?"

"I think so. It is a very good school and Julie is very happy there. Why shouldn't Lizzie be as well?"

"Have you talked to my aunt about this? Because if we send Lizzie to school, we'll have to send Claire to school eventually. And I am sure that Katie will then go there too. And all those girls would have to stay with my aunt."

"I honestly don't think that she'd mind. She likes having the girls around."

"She likes having Julie around, which is different. Julie is her niece. The other girls are not."

"I don't think that makes a difference to her. Your father doesn't think so either."

"You've already talked to him about this?"

"He asked me whether we were planning to send Lizzie to school. He also told me that Rosamund had already asked him and that she would like to have Lizzie with her."

"As hard as it will be for me to let her go, we'll probably have to let her go."

"It's not that bad. Julie comes home every weekend. And George too."

"You know that Lizzie will start to bring friends here all the time, just as the other two, don't you?"

"Yes. But that doesn't matter, does it?"

"No. Sometimes I feel as if we were living in a hotel. All those people coming and going all the time. Now Granny's started to invite friends here as well. Mama had a fit."

"She had a fit because the Duchess was here on your mother's birthday."

"Yes. And Mama and Papa couldn't leave. Although they wanted to. Papa said we have never had to buy as much food as we have to buy now. It's unbelievable. But with Edith and her family and Rosamund coming here almost every weekend as well, we need rather a lot of food."

"Be happy that we have such a big family and so many friends."

"Our children and my granny have a lot of friends you mean."

"Then be happy for them."

"I am happy Matthew."

"Good. Kiss me."


	82. Chapter 82

June 1929

_Matthew and Mary_

"I've heard they've asked you to give a speech."

"Yes and although I am honored, I am not looking forward to it."

"Why not? You are good at speaking in public. You do it for your charities all the time."

"That is not what I mean. What I am supposed to say?"

"Congratulations on 40 years of happy marriage."

"That is one sentence. And it won't even be on their anniversary. It'll be in November because they'll go to America for their anniversary."

"You can still congratulate them."

"But it'll have to be funny and moving and entertaining and what not."

"I'm sure you'll do well."

"You are just glad they didn't ask you."

"You see right through me."

"Yes I do."

"I love you."

"Kiss me."


	83. Chapter 83

July 1929

_Matthew and Robert_

"I know you are busy because you are leaving tomorrow, but can we talk?"

"Of course Matthew. What is it?"

"You know that we have made investments in American companies."

"Yes."

"I want to get our money out of them."

"It's your decision. If you think it is best."

"I do."

"Why are we talking about it then?"

"Because it is quite a lot of money."

"Matthew, I won't interfere. But I'll give you my advice if you want it. However, if you want my advice, you have to tell me why you want to get all our money out."

"Because I think that the economy and especially the American economy is some kind of bubble. And I am afraid that it will burst or suddenly deflate or whatever the appropriate metaphor is. And I want to get our money out before that happens."

"Matthew, you've been right about these things many times before. The only thing I can tell you is that if I had to make a decision, I'd listen to your advice."

"The question is what do we do with the money? I don't want to invest it in the English stock market either because if something happens in America it is bound to hurt the English economy as well. But I am not sure that buying more land would be sensible either. And I don't just want to keep the money in the bank."

"Would it make sense to invest it into smaller companies that are not listed at the stock exchange?"

"They'd be hurt as well if something happened."

"You could buy land now and resell it later, after the economy has gone up again. Or if you don't want to buy land, by a house or houses. In London or New York. Even if the economy went down, you'd still have some kind of value. And one or two houses in Manhattan might be a good investment in the long run. I could look into it while we are there."

"Wouldn't Cora mind?"

"I don't think so. If I tell her what it is about she will probably want to help, which is just as well. If I have to negotiate with an American it might be helpful to have Cora there. Maybe I should let her do the talking. Maybe we should introduce ourselves as Mr. and Mrs. Crawley. We might get a better offer then."

"Thank you for your help. I'll ask Tom for his opinion as well, but I'm sure he'll agree. So thank you again."

"You're welcome."


	84. Chapter 84

October 1929

_Robert and Cora_

"Have you seen the evening paper?"

"Yes. What does it all mean?"

"I have no idea, but I am sure it isn't over yet."

"Do you think even more money will be lost?"

"Yes. Thankfully Matthew pulled our money out. He has a knack for knowing when to be careful. But we will lose money. We've already lost some money in September when the London Stock Exchange crashed and we will lose some money now. But we will be able to keep most of it. And we own a lot of land in England and now two houses here. Matthew's been very careful. Without him, we'd be bankrupt now, I am sure."

"Will we be able to keep up our life style?"

"I am sure that we will be able to stay at the Abbey. Depending on their investments, we might have to prepare to let Edith and Michael live with us and to let Rosamund live at our house in London. But that would hopefully be the worst of it. We should be able to keep the staff, or most of them at least."

"Do you think we should cancel the party? For our anniversary I mean?"

"We can still afford it, darling. It isn't that expensive anyway."

"That's not what I mean. Many of the people we've invited will have lost money. Should we really show them in how much splendor we still live?"

"I doubt that poses a problem but if you want to, we can make it a more modest affair than we have planned so far."

"I'll think about it. Are you ready for the return journey?"

"Yes. I am looking forward to going home. But you would like to stay here a while, wouldn't you?"

"No. If we stayed we'd miss Julie's 15th birthday. She'd be devastated."

"I can't believe she'll turn 15 in three weeks. Our baby girl has grown up."

"Yes. I know it is stupid and we have all those grandchildren, but I miss having a young child. I miss being the parent of a very young person."

"Cora, it's not stupid, it's natural. We've been parents for 38 years now. But we won't stop being parents just because our youngest daughter is almost grown up. We'll just be needed for different things. And we've been through this before. Remember that Sybil was already 18 when we found out about Julie."

"That won't happen again."

"No, thankfully not. Because it is time that I had you for myself."

"40 years of marriage and you still want to spend time with me."

"And you still want to spend time with me."

"More than anyone else in the world. I know it is unfair towards our children maybe, but we wouldn't have them if we didn't spend so much time together."

"No darling, we wouldn't. And no matter how much they've driven me up the wall in the past 38 years, I'm glad we've got them."

"Yes."

"And I am very glad that I've got you. Proposing to you was the best decision I ever made. Because you are a wonderful woman. You are perfect. I love you."

"Robert, if we want to be on time for dinner you have to stop now."

"I don't care about dinner. We could just order room service. Isn't that something typically American? Wouldn't you like that?"

"I'd like a lot of things right now."

"Give me an example."

"I'd like you to kiss me."

* * *

AN: Just to let you know: I will post one more chapter tomorrow and then that will be it for this story.

I very seriously thought about whether I should let the Crawleys lose Downton in the financial crises that started in 1929 and I think that would have been the better ending, but I just didn't have the heart.

I am working on a few outtakes but they won't change the major story line or go beyond it.

So thank you for all the support again!


	85. Chapter 85

November 1929

_Mary_

"For those of you who do not know who I am, I am Lady Mary Crawley, eldest daughter of the Earl and Countess of Grantham and they have asked me to give a speech today. To be honest, I have no idea why, because all three of my sisters would be able to do this in a more heartfelt manner and my husband is a lot funnier than me, but here I am. As you know, my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary a while ago. Because they were in New York by themselves that day, they've invited all of you to come here today to celebrate with them now and in their name I'd like to thank you all for coming.

When my parents told me that they would like me to give a speech here today, the first thing I did was ask my husband Matthew what he thought I should speak about. He told me to say 'Congratulations on 40years of happy marriage' which I did not think was very helpful. So I asked my sisters as well and while none of them came up with anything better, my sister Julie at least ventured a guess as to why I had been asked to conquer this seemingly herculean task. She said 'because you and Matthew are the same as Mama and Papa'. I don't know whether this was the actual reason they asked me or not, but when I thought about it, I found that there was a lot of truth in my youngest sister's statement.

Matthew proposed to me for the first time almost 17 years ago. Not because he loved me but because he thought we'd do well together. I refused because I was afraid of entering a marriage without love. But I talked to my parents about Matthew's proposal and about the fears I harbored about getting married for anything else but love. Both my parents told me that they thought that I should marry Matthew, because they too thought that we'd do well together. Not because I would be married to the future Earl of Grantham but because they both believed that we would find love eventually. I believed them and they were right. I did accept Matthew's third proposal and we got married in June 1913. I told him that I loved him in October that same year and it still holds true. I know that he feels the same for me.

My parents knew that we would find love because they spoke from experience. They didn't get married for love either. They both say that they liked each other before they got married but that was all there was to it, although according them that was already quite a lot. Regardless of that, everybody who has seen them together, maybe not in the last 40 years, but in the last 39 and a half years cannot deny that they love each other very much. My father once told me that loving my mother had become an integral part of him and that he couldn't imagine himself not loving her. Having lived in the same house as my parents for all my life I can vouch for my mother feeling the same. My parents have four daughters and three of them are married and all of them very happily. The reason we strove for love in marriage is because that was what we grew up with. My sisters and I talked about our parents quite a lot in the past few months and we all think of them as an entity. Although they are of course two individual people, in our minds and hearts, they belong together. None of us and I am now including Matthew, Tom and Michael as well, can imagine them without one another.

Mama, Papa, thank you for letting us grow up in a loving home. Thank you for showing us what a wonderful and loving marriage is. Congratulations on 40 years of happy marriage. … Papa, you may now do what you've been wanting to do for the past ten minutes. Kiss her."

* * *

I am not sure how satisfied I am with this ending, but I think it was the best I could do without either letting them lose everything or have someone die.

I will post some outtakes eventually, but probably not before the weekend.

In case you are interested: I'll start posting a new story today called _Playing with Fire_ which explores the possibilities of what might have happened had Mary and Matthew met before 1912.

Thank you all so much for the support, the views, favorites, alerts and reviews!


	86. Outtake 1

AN: This is the first one of the outtakes I promised. It'll always say after which chapter of the story the outtake is set.

The outtakes will include characters besides Mary, Matthew, Cora and Robert so that we will get to hear/see what other characters think and feel as well.

Hope you enjoy it!

Kat

* * *

Outtake 1

After Chapter 5

_Matthew and Isobel_

"I am going up to the Abbey for dinner tonight and I think that you should come too."

"Matthew, I can't. I've got a committee meeting. The Dowager won't be there, so I might be able to get my point across easier."

"Mother, the reason the Dowager won't be there is that she is going up to the Abbey as well. And I think you should too."

"We haven't been invited."

"Cousin Robert says that it is an open invitation and that we can always come for dinner."

"Matthew, I can't go. But you go ahead."

"There will be an important announcement tonight. I don't think you'd like to miss it."

"Matthew whatever it is, I am sure you will tell me all about it tomorrow."

"So you really don't want to come."

"No. My committee work is more important to me than some supposedly grand announcement the family at the house has to make."

"All right. Then I'll tell you right now. But please don't tell anyone else."

"If it is important to you, I won't."

"Mary and I are getting married."

"To whom?"

"To each other."

"You are getting married to Lady Mary Crawley."

"Yes."

"You don't love her."

"No."

"She doesn't love you."

"No."

"Then why are you getting married?"

"Because we'll do well together. We are a good match. I will eventually be the Earl and there are some aspects that I will always need guidance with and she can give it to me. And in return she gets the title, the estate and the money. And we don't hate each other. We both think that we can see each other every day without flinching."

"And that is your reason for getting married."

"Yes."

"Matthew, I am very disappointed in you. You know, your father and I"

"got married for love. Yes I do know that."

"You are missing out on a great happiness if you aren't getting married for love."

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Certainly Matthew. You are about to enter a marriage of convenience. Those marriages are never happy."

"That is not true."

"Is it not? Name one marriage of convenience that is very happy."

"Robert and Cora.

"That's a love match."

"That is not true. They got married because of money and a title. But look at them. They are blissfully happy now."

"Well, they must have found love somewhere along the way then. But that doesn't mean that it will happen to you and Mary as well."

"No. But I think the chances are rather good."

"Well Matthew, it is your decision. I hope you won't regret it."

"I don't think I will."


	87. Outtake 2

Outtake 2

After Chapter 11

_Anna and Mary_

"Mi'lady, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

"Of course Anna, although I suppose I should call you Smith now."

"Please don't. I've always been Anna and I always will be, even if I am a proper lady's maid now."

"All right then. But you wanted to say something."

"Yes. Mi'lady this isn't easy but I have to tell someone and I'd rather tell you than Mrs. Hughes."

"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

"You will have to tell her ladyship. It is about Ms. O'Brien. She thinks that your mother is looking for a new lady's maid."

"Mama is looking for a new lady's maid for Granny."

"Well, O'Brien doesn't think so and she is planning a revenge."

"What?"

"I don't know what she will do, but she is planning to hurt your mother."

"Physically? Will she stick her with hairpins while doing her hair?"

"I think it will be more serious than that. But she said that she wants your mother to be in pain. And that she wants to hurt the baby."

"Anna, how do you know this?"

"I overheard her talking to Thomas. I know I shouldn't have listened but"

"No, Anna, you should have listened to that. When did you overhear this?"

"Half an hour ago. I came to you straight away."

"Thank you for that. I better talk to my mother right now. She is in her room. I'll send O'Brien away. I hope Mama will finally chuck her. Would you be willing to take care of my mother as well for the time being?"

"Of course, mi'lady."

"Thank you, Anna."


	88. Outtake 3

Outtake 3

After Chapter 14

_Violet and Robert_

"I suppose Downton finally has an heir."

"What do you mean, 'finally'?"

"It has taken you long enough to produce one."

"What?"

"Mary was so adamant at not telling me the gender of the child that I assume that it is a boy and you wanted to tell me yourself."

"I wanted to tell you myself. That is true. But it's not a boy."

"So it's a girl then."

"Is there another possibility?"

"Are you disappointed, Robert?"

"No. I am relieved. And so is Cora."

"Relieved? Why?"

"Because we didn't want to take anything from Mary and Matthew. Or George. Even you must see that that would have been rather cruel."

"So this scandal was for nothing."

"What scandal?"

"You having another baby. If a man in his forties who is married to a woman his own age becomes a father again, it is always a scandal."

"Only if the woman he has the child with is not his wife. Which clearly isn't the case here."

"No. You are very loyal and faithful to your wife."

"Of course I am. I love her."

"I hope so, because she hasn't done her duty. But at least she's made you happy."

"Mama, there is a perfectly healthy little boy in our nursery who will eventually be the Earl of Grantham. Does it really matter if that boy is my son or my grandson?"

"Matthew will be the Earl first."

"Yes. And he will be a very good Earl. He is a wonderful young man and he will make my daughter, your granddaughter, Countess of Grantham. Isn't that enough for you?"

"Is it enough for you?"

"Of course it is."

"I suppose it must be enough for me because I assume that you will not have a fifth child."

"It is not very likely, no. Julia is our last child, I think."

"You've named her Julia. It's a nice name."

"Coming from you Mama, that is high praise."

"Well."

"Mama, come with me, take a look at your granddaughter."

"You only want me to do that because you know that she will have me wrapped around her little finger the moment you put her into my arms. And that I won't be complaining about her not being a boy anymore then because I will not be able to imagine anything more perfect than that little girl. We've been through this three times already."

"Yes. And you love all your granddaughters very much, even if you would never tell them that."

"How do you know I have never told them that? Are you there every time I am with one of them?"

"No. But you never tell me. Or Rosamund."

"But I do."

"I know, Mama. Let's go upstairs. Give Julia a chance to charm the wits out of you."

"I dare say she will be successful. She is your child after all."


	89. Outtake 4

AN: As is obvious to see for everyone (unless the review has been removed by now), there is a member on who accuses me of having plagiarized this story from other stories. I am not able to contact that person directly, because he or she has turned off the private message options. According to that user I am stealing both story line and conversations from other DA fics. This is not true, absolutely not. I wasn't even aware of the fact that there is a story like this on already. I just looked for it and I couldn't find it. So if any of you have any idea which story or stories I am supposed to have plagiarized, please let me know.  
I have just done a test and copied 15 randomly chosen parts of this story into Google (sometimes just one sentence, sometimes longer parts) and the only results that came up for all 15 searches was this story.

Thank you for your help.

Kat

* * *

Outtake 4

After Chapter 16

_Robert and Matthew_

"Matthew."

"Hello Robert. I've just come to have breakfast."

"Well, you've come into the breakfast room at 9:30 am so I thought that might be what you had in mind."

"I am not quite myself yet. I feel like I've been through hell and back. Being stuck behind enemy lines and then coming here and seeing Mary and George and the rest of the family, it's just such a contrast. I wonder if"

"You wonder if it wouldn't have been better for you had you not come home."

"I, I"

"Matthew. I've been to war. I know what you mean. As harsh as it sounds, I was glad that it took quite a long time to get back from South Africa. Life here was so different and everything here seemed so insignificant, or 'petty' as Cora would say. Cora and I had many fights right after I had come back. I was so glad to have her back but at the same time it all felt so wrong. I had killed hundreds of men and here I had to deal with my wife complaining about our daughters fighting about some doll and my mother inviting her for tea. It took months for me to get back to normal. And I knew I would stay. You know that you will have to go back. Try to enjoy our time here. We have all missed you so much."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For saying what you've just said. For understanding. For making me not feel like a total fool anymore. And for saying that you've all missed me. I know that of course but it is good to hear it anyway."

"Matthew, when the war office telephoned and they told me that they had no idea where you were and that you were likely dead, my world fell to pieces. I never told anyone that they told me that they thought you dead because saying that would have meant admitting to myself that that was a very likely possibility. And I just wouldn't have known how to deal with you being killed in a stupid war. You are much more to me than my daughter's husband, Matthew. You are so much more than that to us all."

"I am the heir to the Earldom."

"Yes, but that is not what I mean."

"I know. I do."

"Try to get some rest while you are here Matthew. Spend as much time with your wife and child as you can. And maybe spend a little time with the rest of the family as well."

"I will do all of that."

"Good."


	90. Outtake 5

AN: Jenwren and Eyeon, thank you so much for your support with that plagiarism business and your lovely reviews. What you have written really means a lot to me.

Just a small reminder (because this question came up around chapter 70 I think): This story is based on the idea that Mary and Matthew got married in 1913 but that neither one was in love with the other. (This outtake would not make much sense if you didn't know this)

Kat

* * *

Outtake 5

After Chapter 28

_Robert and Matthew_

"Matthew. I am not surprised to see you here."

"Well, my mother and yours coming to dinner warrants a drink before going anywhere near the dining room."

"That is exactly what I said to Cora."

"I knew you were coming here, so I've already poured you drink."

"Thank you. As a matter of fact I'm rather glad that I've met you here because I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Depends on the favor but generally, yes."

"I was wondering what you thought about Hepworth."

"I don't know."

"Neither do I. But I think that he might be a fortune hunter."

"It's possible. He is rather evasive when asked about his estate and London home."

"Cora thinks so too. And I was wondering if you would ask him a few, let's say, pointed questions."

"To find out if he really is a fortune hunter."

"Yes."

"Robert, I know you want to protect Rosamund, but are you and I really the right people to judge a man based on his reasons for wanting to get married?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were a fortune hunter and while I didn't marry Mary for her fortune, the reason I wanted her to be my wife was that I needed someone who would ensure that I was accepted in the right social circles."

"But that's different."

"Why?"

"Because you fell in love with Mary and I fell in love with Cora."

"But not until after the wedding."

"No. But somehow I don't see Hepworth falling for Rosamund. She likes him, I don't doubt it, but I am not sure about how he feels about her. Cora thinks that Rosamund is almost desperate for affection. And if Hepworth is a fortune hunter, Rosamund doesn't know. And she should know that."

"So you would like me to find out whether he needs money and whether he actually likes Rosamund."

"Yes."

"If he needed money but really did like Rosamund, what would you do then?"

"Give them my blessing."

"I'll try my best."

"Thank you."

"I think we have to face dinner now."

"There is no way getting around it."


	91. Outtake 6

After Chapter 31

_Julia and Edith_

"Edith, can I come in?"

"Why would you want to?"

"I want to talk to you."

"You are five. You have nothing to say."

"Wrong. Look, I have a kitty. Mama said I could keep it if Papa says I can. How do I make Papa say that I can?"

"Look at him and smile."

"I can do that. Want to hold the kitty?"

"No."

"All right. It can stay with me then. I don't know if it is a boy or a girl. But I think she is girl. Mama said almost everyone in this family is a girl."

"That is not true. Think about George."

"She said almost."

"I hate being a girl."

"Why? I think it's the best. You get to wear beautiful dresses but you can also wear trousers."

"You can wear trousers because you are still so small. I can't"

"Sybil and Mary can. When they go riding."

"Sybil and Mary don't know how to behave."

"Mama says they do. She always tells me that I should look up to Sybil and Mary and you. She always says 'Julie, look up to your sisters. They are proper ladies.'"

"Mama calls you Julie then?"

"Yes. But only when Papa is not around. She says Papa will go listic if he hears that."

"Papa will go what?"

"Lisitc. It means he will be mad."

"I think Mama said ballistic."

"That means George is right."

"Why?"

"He said that it is ballistic. I have to give him a dollar now."

"Why?"

"I bet him that it was 'listic'"

"Julie, do not bet. It is not lady like. And why a dollar? There is nothing you can do with it in England."

"Because Mama is American."

"That is a reason. Not a good one, but a reason. Do you have a dollar?"

"Yes. Mama gave it to me once to show me what it looks like. But I don't want to it give to George. He will crumple it. He is a boy. And sometimes boys are horrible. Like that man who was so mean to you today."

"Yes, that was horrible."

"Mama says that a man who juggles at the altar does not deserve any of us. But I didn't see him juggle."

"That is not what Mama said. It is not "juggle at the altar". It is to 'jilt someone at the altar'."

"What does that mean?"

"Leaving before getting married."

"Juggling would be funnier. It would be like in a circus."

"Sometimes weddings are like a circus."

"Edith, now that you didn't get married, will you stay here?"

"Where else would I go?"

"I am glad you are staying. I am sad that man made you sad and when I see him next I will kick his shins. Even if Mama says I shouldn't. But I love you and I am glad you will be here to play with me. Edith don't cry. I didn't want to make you cry. I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I will probably cry a few more times but it is not your fault Julie. In fact you've made me feel a lot better. And I love you too."

"Good. Wanna go to Papa with me and ask him if I can keep the kitty?"

"If you think it will help."

"It would be two against one. Mama says that is never fair, but Papa is so much older than us. He won't send us away."

"All right, I'll help you with keeping the kitty. But I want to get changed first. I'll get you when I am ready."

"Good. I'll be in my room."

_Robert and Cora_

"Just so you know, we now have a cat."

"She convinced you then."

"They. Julia brought Edith along. Although I have no idea how she managed to get Edith out of her room."

"The same way she got you to say 'yes' to keeping that cat. She was just herself."

"That is a dangerous talent. But she did get it from you, so I won't complain."

"How very nice of you."

"Kiss me."


	92. Outtake 7

Outtake 7

This is not after any particular chapter but someone said that I should write a scene between Julia and her father and I had so much fun writing the Julia/Edith conversation that I decided to write one between Julia and her father as well.

_Julia and Robert_

"Papa?"

"Julia. What are you doing in the library at this time of day?"

"Mama said you were busy."

"Shouldn't you let me work then?"

"I came to help you. Mama said you were too busy for your own goods."

"My own good, not goods. But your Mama is probably right."

"So can I help?"

"All right then, you can sit on my lap."

"What do you do when you work?"

"I am trying to find out which farms are profitable and which are not."

"Why?"

"Because the estate can only survive if it makes money."

"Why?"

"Because we need a lot of money. For our food, to maintain the house, to pay for the servants and much more."

"Matthew said that we need so much money because our clothes are so expensive. Then he looked at Mary and said 'specially yours'."

"What did you sister say?"

"She laughed at him and said he shouldn't ruin so many of them then. How does he do that? He doesn't wear Mary's clothes."

"I have no idea. But he is right. Mary's wardrobe is probably worth more than yours and your other two sisters' put together."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She just likes clothes I suppose."

"They are very pretty. She has to be very careful all the time."

"Why?"

"Mama always tells me I have to be very careful when I wear a pretty dress. That's why I like skirts and trousers. Even if I am less pretty then."

"You are always pretty. Even when you wear boy's clothes."

"Mama says I am too old to wear boy's clothes."

"Your Mama is a very smart woman."

"I know. She knows everything. We should work now or she will go listic."

"Ballistic, Julia. So, will you help me then?"

"Yes. Those are really big numbers."

"Yes."

"Is that how much money Mama has given to you?"

"What?"

"Nanny said you married Mama because she gave you a lot of money."

"Well, she didn't really give me any money. But she was very rich and her money was used to keep this house the way it is. And the estate too."

"That makes sense."

"Does it?"

"Yes. Mama lives here and I am sure she likes living in a nice house. And this is your house and it is very nice."

"That is true I suppose. Julia, you know that I love your mother, don't you?"

"Of course I do. You kiss her on the lips all the time. And George says you only do that to people you love very much in a 'grown-up way'. But he doesn't know what that is. He says Matthew told him that."

"Matthew is right about that."

"Matthew is always right. That is what Mary says."

"Your eldest sister is right then too."

"Papa, why am I so much younger than my sisters?"

"That is a very difficult question. Mainly because your mother and I were very lucky to have you."

"What does that mean?"

"We didn't think we could have another child. We thought that Sybil would always be our youngest daughter. And then we were told about you when Sybil was 18 already. And we were very happy when we learned about you."

"Nanny says I was an accident."

"You were a surprise. A very good surprise."

"Good. Because I didn't want you to be in an accident. I once saw an accident on the road. The people looked hurt. That would not be good for you or Mama."

"No, that would not be good."

"Mama said I could have lunch with you and her today if I behaved really well."

"That was very nice of your Mama then."

"I am trying to behave well very hard. Because I like having lunch with you and Mama."

"Good. But you know what? If you don't let me work now, I won't be able to have lunch with you and your Mama because I will still be working then. Why don't you go outside for a little while?"

"Can I take Isis?"

"If you stay in view of this window, yes."

"I will. Isis, come on, you mustn't disturb Papa."


	93. Outtake 8

Outtake 8

After Chapter 33

_Matthew and Tom_

"Tom."

"Matthew, I just wanted to say 'thank you'. I know I behaved like a jerk when you and Lord Grantham told me that I could never go back to Ireland."

"Thank you for saying that. But you might want to tell Robert too. I think it bothered him more than me."

"I can't tell him."

"Why not?"

"I am not. I don't know. I used to drive him around."

"And then you married his daughter. So now you are his son-in-law. And you will soon be the father of one of his grandchildren."

"It's all easy for you Matthew. They love you. All of them. You are like the son he never had to Lord Grantham."

"It hasn't always been that easy. But they are very decent people. All of them. And I love all of them too. And so will you if you get to know them. Really get to know them."

"But I won't. Because we won't stay."

"Where will you go?"

"Liverpool. I can get work in a garage there."

"Where will you live?"

"We'll find a flat."

"Tom. You could live here. As a member of the family. Let your child grow up as the grandchild of the Earl of Grantham. Nephew to one and cousin to another future Earl of Grantham. If you stayed here your child would have everything in life. If you go to Liverpool that child's life would be very, very different."

"Sybil doesn't"

"Sybil wants to stay here. She told Mary. She thinks it's best for all of you. And it is."

"It is not best for me. I feel so out of place here."

"You do now. But it will get better."

"How can it? I am a servant."

"You were a servant."

"They'll always look at me as a servant. All of them."

"No. I don't look at you as a servant. You are the first friend I've had in years. And Mary doesn't think of you as a servant either. The same goes for Edith."

"What about Lord and Lady Grantham?"

"Maybe if you stopped calling them that it would be easier for all of you."

"What am I supposed to call them instead?"

"Robert and Cora."

"Right. Matthew that is a grand idea. They will love it."

"They will agree to it if you and Sybil stay here. I am sure of it."

"If you talk to them about that, then I will think about staying here."

"We have a deal."


	94. Outtake 9

Outtake 9

After Chapter 36

_Matthew and Tom_

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Don't restrain yourself."

"You know that Jarvis is about to leave."

"Yes. And it was about time. He lives 40 years in the past."

"Yes, he does. But we need a new estate agent."

"I know. What's your question?"

"Would you like to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be the agent of the estate."

"That is a very bad joke."

"It is not a joke. I've talked to Robert about it. I told him it was a good idea and he agreed."

"He did?"

"Yes. Tom, you've got everything we need. You've got hands-on experience, you know about farming and about the estate. You are a member of the family. You are very well respected among the tenants. Your ideas are good, we get along very well and you do get along with Robert too."

"It would give me something to do."

"Yes. So will you do it?"

"All right."


	95. Outtake 10

AN: Outtake 9 was so short that I felt bad publishing it by itself, so here is Outtake 10 as well.

* * *

Outtake 10

After Chapter 38

_Edith and Robert_

"Papa, why are you reading _The Sketch_?"

"What do you think why? I am reading your column."

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I like reading what you write."

"Really?"

"Yes. Very much. You are very talented I think."

"I thought you didn't like me writing for _The Sketch_"

"I am not thrilled that you do in terms of being afraid that the editor only wants you to write for him because of your title. But that doesn't mean that I don't like your columns. You have a talent for bringing your point across. And you always make a point. Your columns always concentrate on important matters and you often point to things we normally don't think about."

"I didn't think you took my writing seriously."

"Edith, you are my daughter. Of course I take it seriously. And I agree with you on most subjects. Not every subject of course, but even when your opinion is contrary to mine, I still enjoy reading your column."

"I never knew. I always thought you didn't care."

"If course I care. I am very, very proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yes. You are a wonderful, independent, outspoken young woman. What more could I want in a daughter?"

"I am not married. I got jilted at the altar."

"And you didn't let it ruin your life. You didn't let that man make you fall apart. Not many women would have been able to deal with something like that way you did. Because you really loved him. But that whole business didn't break you, it made you so much stronger. You supported your little sister in her endeavor to convince me to let her keep that cat the same day Anthony left you. I didn't expect you to leave your room for days, maybe weeks, but you came out that same day to do your little sister a favor. And then you started to speak out for women's rights only a few weeks later. Don't you see how strong you are and how few people would have been able to do that?"

"I didn't want to wallow in self-pity. I wanted to do something with my life."

"Exactly. That is who you are. You want to do something with your life. You want to help others. Whether it is to helping your little sister getting a pet or fighting for the rights of war refugees."

"That is how you see me?"

"Yes. How else would I see you? There is no other way to see you."

"I don't know, I just, I just. I always thought you preferred the other three."

"No. I don't prefer any of you. I love all four of you very much. And I can't believe how lucky I am to have such wonderful daughters. And you are one of them Edith."

"Thank you, Papa."

"You are welcome my darling girl."


	96. Outtake 11

Outtake 11

After Chapter 46

_Random People on the Ship_

"Look, there they are."

"Who?"

"The Earl of Grantham and his mistress."

"Oh yes. And they've brought that child. And they are letting her walk between them, holding both their hands. The Earl is practically announcing to the world that he has a love child."

"He's got more than one."

"How do you know?"

"He told me so himself. I asked him whether his wife knew that he was travelling with his mistress and he said she knew that and that she also knew that they had their youngest child with them."

"Maybe his wife has got someone else as well."

"Who knows?"

"Well their marriage was certainly one of convenience. I remember the scandal very well. The family needed a lot of money and the needed it fast. So the Earl who was then the Viscount Downton had to marry an American heiress."

"He wasn't the only one."

"No. But we all know how those marriages went. They went down the drain. How could such a marriage ever work out? But at least the Earl's American wife doesn't seem to mind him being happy with someone else."

"I don't think she knows. I guess the Earl only said she did, so that we wouldn't tell her."

"I wonder for how long he has had that mistress. They seem rather comfortable with each other."

"I don't know. The child might be six or seven. They must have at least one older child, so maybe about ten years?"

"That's a long time with the same mistress. I wonder how he managed to keep the scandal under wraps that long. Even if his wife knew, it would still be a huge scandal."

"He must have established a living for that mistress somewhere and it must be close to Downton because he doesn't spend a lot of time in London."

"He doesn't have to spend a lot of time there to make a baby with his mistress."

"No. But look at the child. He isn't a stranger to her. He must spend time with the child as well."

"That is rather nice of him though."

"I wonder why he gives them such expensive clothes. The child and the mistress both seem to have a rather large and expensive wardrobe."

"From what I heard he makes a lot of money with his estate."

"How can he? He probably uses his wife's money to pay for his mistress and their child, or children."

"Did you hear that? The child just called him 'Papa'. How can he allow that?"

"Maybe I should tell the Dowager Countess about that. She is a rather close friend."

"Really? But wouldn't telling her be rather cruel?"

"No. I'd just be preparing her for the scandal that will eventually break."

"Why do you think it will break?"

"Do you really think we are the only people on this ship who have realized whom he is travelling with? Someone will sell it to the papers."

"Yes. That is something to look forward to when we are in England. Oh, the poor Dowager. To be so disappointed by her only son."

"Maybe she knows too."

"I can assure you that my mother knows who I am travelling with."

"Lord Grantham. Please excuse us, we didn't think you could hear us."

"I could hear you. And so could my daughter and her mother."

"We were only joking."

"No, you were not. And while Lady Grantham and I might be able to laugh about your conversation even if it wasn't a joke, Lady Julia is still too young to understand that there are people in this world who always assume the worst and who always want to cause trouble. So I ask you to stop spreading your ridiculous rumor about me travelling with a mistress. Even if you can't fathom it because your own marriages have 'gone down the drain' as you say, my wife and I love each other very much. And we certainly don't have need of having affairs outside of our marriage, quite contrary to some of you. Enjoy your meal."

_Julia and Robert _

"What's a mistress?"

"Something I don't have. I don't want one either."

"What _is_ a mistress?"

"You are too young."

"I'll ask Tom. He'll tell me."

"Don't you dare ask Tom. I don't want you to ask or talk about such things. Do you understand that?"

"Yes. I am sorry I made you angry, Papa."

"Oh, my darling girl, don't cry. You didn't make me angry. It was the people in the dining room who made me angry."

"Because they said you had a?"

"Yes. Maybe I should just tell you, you will find out eventually anyway. Some men who aren't happy with their wives sometimes are close to another woman. They spend time with other women."

"The way you spend time with Mama?"

"Yes."

"But then you can't have a mistress. You spend all your time working, or with us, or with Mama. You don't have time for a mistress."

"No, I don't. And I am very happy about that."

"You are even busy at night."

"What?"

"Mary said that you and Mama are always busy at night. She said that's why I wasn't allowed in your room anymore."

"You sometimes come into our room at night."

"But I always knock. And then I count to sixty before I come in. Mary told me to do that when I asked her if I could come to her if I had a nightmare and you were busy. She told me I couldn't come to her room. Do you think that is because she and Matthew are busy at night too?"

"Yes."

"Why are you laughing Papa?"

"Oh Julie. I love you. And I'm so glad I've got you. You make me very happy."

"You were angry and now you are not anymore."

"No. And it is because of you."

"I love you too. Will you tuck me in?"

"Yes."

_Cora and Robert_

"I overheard your conversation with Julie."

"That child."

"Yes. I will have sore muscles for days because I had to laugh so hard."

"I should have words with Mary."

"Why?"

"How can she tell Julia that we are 'busy at night'?"

"I am glad she did. I wondered about why Julie started to knock on our door. And she has no idea what being 'busy at night' means."

"No. But I sincerely hope she won't tell other people about it."

"Whom could she tell? Only her sisters' children. That might make things easier for her sisters."

"She could tell my mother."

"It's not as if your mother didn't know what we do at night. Or sometimes during the day. She and your father"

"I do not want to think about that Cora. I am glad my parents had a happy a marriage but that is all I need to and want to know about it."

"Maybe you should think about our marriage then."

"All right. It is a blissfully happy one."

"I was rather impressed by your performance in the dining room."

"Good. I need to impress my wife from time to time or she will get bored."

"She won't get bored if you keep her busy."

"Maybe I should kiss her then."

"You should certainly kiss her right now."


	97. Outtake12

AN: I know that it is sometimes unclear whether it is Robert or Cora speaking, that was done on purpose as they are of the same opinion.

I don't particularly like this one, but I've been working on it on and off for over a weeks and it is just enough and I think I am making it worse every time I rewrite a few lines in it. I am much more satisfies with Outtake 13, so I am posting that as well.

Thanks for everything again,

Kat

* * *

Outtake 12

After Chapter 49

_Robert, Cora and Edith_

"Edith, come in here please."

"Papa, what is it? Oh dear, you are both here. This can't be good."

"Edith,"

"Who has broken her promise? I bet it was Mary. I made her swear not to tell you. I'll kill her."

"No you won't. Because Mary has done the right thing."

"So, are you going to cast me out now?"

"Of course not."

"So you agree with me and think that I should get rid of the child."

"No, we don't agree with that. We think it would be the biggest mistake of your life."

"Bigger than having gone to bed with a man I am not married to."

"Much bigger Edith. Of course we are not happy about the fact that you did what you did. But you and Michael are stuck in a horribly difficult situation. If he was able to get a divorce, you'd have been married by now. This child is not the product of a careless one night stand."

"Your mother is right. I don't think you should spend your nights with Michael but you are an adult and you should make your own decisions. And you've made a decision that has led to a very serious consequence and you will have to deal with that. But you mustn't deal with it alone. You have to tell Michael before you take any further steps. He will want to know about his child. Because this child is his as much as yours and you cannot not tell him about it."

"But you must be so disappointed."

"Not really. Just as your father I am not happy you spend your nights with a man who is married to another woman but these are special circumstances. And you are an adult. Your father is right about that."

"Then you shouldn't tell me what to do. Because you are. You are telling me to keep a baby I don't want."

"Are you sure you don't want the baby? Or do you want to prevent the scandal? Because the scandal we could live with."

"I don't know."

"Talk to Michael. Invite him here and see what he says. After you've done that we can make further plans. We'll find a solution, one way or the other."


	98. Outtake 13

Outtake 13

Before Chapter 54

_Mary and Violet_

"Good morning Granny. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, yes. It is not my bed but comfortable enough."

"Good."

"Where are your parents?"

"I don't know."

"You do know."

"Why would I know that? I don't keep taps on them. They could be anywhere."

"They are in your mother's bedroom. Both of them."

"If they are still asleep then yes."

"So they really still sleep in the same bed every night?"

"As far as I know. Why?"

"It is most improper."

"Granny, that means we all are behaving improperly. Matthew sleeps in my room, Tom sleeps in Sybil's room and Michael sleeps in Edith' room. And if we all do it that way, wouldn't not sharing a bed be the improper way for married people to spend the night?"

"Your lawyer husband has taught you to twist everything to your needs."

"That wasn't Matthew Granny, that was you."

"I must be a very good teacher then."

"You are."

"But I haven't been able to teach your mother proper behavior. Sharing a bed with her husband at her age."

"Why does her age matter?"

"You are almost as American as her."

"Papa says I am not American. He says I am like Mama."

"Which means that you are American. Your father tends to forget who your mother was before he married her."

"Was she a different person then?"

"Mary, you know what I mean."

"I do. Why can't you just be happy for them?"

"Who says I'm not?"

"You keep complaining about them."

"I complain about their frivolous behavior, not about their happiness."

"Frivolous?"

"They were kissing in the library last night."

"So?"

"I wouldn't have been surprised had they been found in there this morning. Naked."

"Granny, everyone knows not go into the library at night if Mama and Papa were the last ones downstairs."

"Why ever not? It is a public place."

"Yes, it is. But that doesn't mean that it can't be used for private business."

"Are there certain pieces of furniture I should avoid sitting on?"

"Granny. How am I supposed to know that? And I dearly hope not. But I don't think they'd go that far."

"You have no idea where I caught your parents when I still lived in this house."

"You are right, I have no idea and I don't want to know. Let's talk about something else. What have you gotten Julie for Christmas?"

"How do they make sure that Julie doesn't see them?"

"Granny. I told her to always knock and count to 60 before she enters their room. I do not want to talk about that anymore. I am finished with breakfast and I am going upstairs now. I'll see you at lunch."

"Let's hope your parents will be finished by then."

"Granny."


	99. Outtake 14

Outtake 14

After Chapter 55

_Mary and Julia_

"Julie, may I come in?"

"Of course Mary."

"Do you still let that cat sleep in your bed?"

"Her name is Kitty."

"And she sleeps in your bed."

"Yes. But don't tell Papa."

"Why not? Do you think he might object?"

"I don't know, but it might make him sad because Mama says that Isis has to sleep in the library."

"That's a good reason not to tell him. Listen Julie, I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"Sybil and I are going to London tomorrow to meet Edith. And I was wondering if you would like to come along?"

"To London? With you? Is George going too?"

"No. Just Sybil and me. We'll take Anna to help us but no one else."

"Where will we stay?"

"With Aunt Rosamund. We'll stay for two nights and have dinner at her house."

"Aunt Rosamund doesn't have a room for children to eat in."

"She won't need one because you would be eating with us."

"Really? I can eat with the grown-ups?"

"Yes. We'll go out for lunch, just Sybil, Edith, you and I. We'll have some errands to run, I need to get a few more clothes for our trip to America and Sybil and Edith want to go shopping for the baby. You can chose what you would like to do."

"Go with you. I need a new dress."

"What for?"

"Dinner with Aunt Rosamund. I only have one fancy dinner dress. But if we eat there twice, I will need a second one."

"Julie, how do you suppose a dress to be made in one day?"

"I don't know, but we can ask. Maybe it is possible. If we went there before lunch the first day and went to pick it up after lunch the second day, it might work. We could ask really nicely."

"We'll try that then."

"Good. I will have to think about what to pack."

"I'll ask Anna to help you with it. She usually knows what to pack."

"Good. Then I can go tell Papa how to take care of Kitty."

"All right Julie. I see you later then."

_Robert and Julia_

"Julie, how can I help you?"

"I wanted to ask you a favor."

"What is it?"

"I am going to London with Mary and Sybil for two days. But someone needs to take care of Kitty."

"You are going to London with your sisters?"

"Yes."

"Who said you could?"

"Mary."

"That is interesting. Because I don't know anything about it. What are you planning to do in London?"

"Oh, this and that. What one does in London these days."

"What does one do in London these days?"

"We'll have lunch in a restaurant and dinner with Aunt Rosamund. Mary and I will go shopping for clothes because I need a new dress and she needs more clothes for her trip to America."

"What do you need a new dress for?"

"Papa, we'll have dinner with Aunt Rosamund twice and I only have one dress. We'll go to the dress maker really early on the first day, and if I ask really nicely the dress might be ready on the second day."

"I understand. That sounds like a nice trip."

"Yes. Would please you take care of Kitty while I'm gone?"

"Of course."

"You could play with her a little every day. She likes chasing strings. But don't let her chase Isis because I once did that and Mama got really mad."

"I won't let her chase Isis then because we can't have your mother really mad."

"No. She might make you sleep in your dressing room."

"I better be careful then."

"Thank you Papa. I love you. Next time you are gone, I will take care of Isis. I promise."

"That is good to know."

"I am going to help Anna pack my things now. It would be really unfair if she had to do it all by herself."

"Off you go then. And tell Anna 'thank you' for helping you."

"Of course I will tell her that."


	100. Outtake 15

Outtake 15

Before Chapter 57

_Tom and Robert_

"Robert, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure."

"Alone?"

"Of course. Let's go for a walk."

"I have had a letter."

"One that has obviously upset you."

"Yes. It is a letter I never thought I would get."

"Who is it from?"

"My father. It was in a letter my brother sent to me."

"Are you sure it is from your father?"

"Yes. Kiernan says so and he remembers him. He was 10 when my father left, so he recognized him."

"What does your father want?"

"He wants to meet me. But I am not sure why."

"Maybe he is sorry for what he has done and wants to apologize for it."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know your father, so I don't know what to believe."

"I am scared that he only wants to meet me because Kiernan told him what has become of me. And I know that Kiernan did tell him because my father wrote to me that he was very proud of me for 'making my way in the world'."

"That is a possibility."

"Yes."

"I think the question it comes down to is just whether you want to meet your real father at least once."

"I think I do. But I am afraid of, I don't know what. Being disappointed, I suppose."

"Tom, I think there is a very real possibility that you might be disappointed. But I think there also is a very real possibility that you will regret not meeting your father when you've had the chance."

"So you think I should do it?"

"I think that it is up to you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. And Tom, regardless of what happens; I'll be there for you. We will all be there for you."

"I know. And I am very thankful for that."


	101. Outtake 16

AN: All right, this is it. The last outtake and this story is finally complete. Thank you all for the support!

Kat

* * *

Outtake 16

After Chapter 79

_Cora and Violet_

"Mama, you wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes, yes dear. Sit down. Don't look so surprised."

"Thank you. How are you?"

"Better than expected I think."

"I am glad to hear it."

"Are you really?"

"Of course I am. I don't want you dead."

"That is reassuring."

"Mama, you couldn't honestly think that I'd ever want that."

"No, I suppose that wouldn't be you. To wish someone else dead. No matter how much you disliked them."  
"I don't dislike you either."

"You don't?"

"No. What do you think of me?"

"I don't know. We haven't been friends, exactly."

"Maybe not. But you are my husband's mother and you are a wonderful grandmother for our children."

"But I haven't been a very good mother-in-law."

"Not a very bad one either. We have our differences, quite a few of them and some of them rather substantial, but I think that all in all we've accepted each other to such an extent that we get along well enough."

"Get along well enough. That is what you think."

"Yes. Is that wrong? It could be much worse. To be honest, I thought it would be much worse when Robert and I got married."

"Cora, I know you think I didn't want Robert to marry you because you are American and because you don't come from an old family."

"Wasn't that the reason?"

"It was one of the reasons. The other one was something quite different."

"Mama, you don't have to talk about this if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

"It sets my teeth on edge to talk about it but I almost died and I want to talk about it, and you don't need to point out to me that that doesn't make much sense."

"I wasn't going to say that. So what was the other reason?"

"That Robert didn't love you. I wouldn't have objected, I wouldn't have said a single word, had he married you for love. Because that was what I wanted for him. I just couldn't fathom him getting married for money only. My only son tied himself to a woman he hardly knew, a woman from a different culture, for life just to safe the estate. I thought he was making a horrible mistake. I was afraid that your marriage would go down the drain. What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing important. Someone else once said that about our marriage and Robert lost his temper with that person."

"I imagine that he did. He keeps telling me that he is embarrassed about his motives for pursuing you."

"He is. Although I keep telling him that he shouldn't be. My motives weren't any more honorable than his."

"No, they were not. And I hated you for that. For marrying my son without loving him."

"You know that I love him now, don't you? We've been married for 38 years and I've loved him for 37 and half. Those first six months don't really matter. They were awkward and we didn't really know what to do with each other, but I think that had we both not been so preoccupied with doing what was expected of us, we might have realized that we had fallen in love earlier than we actually did realize it. But it really doesn't matter. It's almost four decades in the past."

"No, it doesn't matter. You've made Robert very happy."

"He has made me very happy too."

"I know that. I know that you have a wonderful marriage. And that makes me very happy too."

"Does it?"

"Yes. Cora, I love my children very much. And you've made one of them blissfully happy and I am very thankful for that."

"You are welcome then."

"Cora, I am sorry for all those uncalled for things that I said to you over the course of the last 39 years. Especially concerning your unsuitability for your role as Countess of Grantham and your inability to produce an heir. You aren't an unsuitable Countess, you are quite the opposite and I know that it is a matter of chance whether children turn out to be boys or girls. And you have given me four wonderful granddaughters."

"They are rather charming."

"They are much more than that. They are loving, gentle, kind, intelligent women who are not afraid to speak their minds. And they are the way they are because of Robert and you. Because of what you have given to them. You have given them a wonderful home, you have shown them what love is. You still do that. None of your older girls would be as happily married as they are now if they hadn't grown up as the children of such a perfect couple. You and Robert are an ideal match. And I am glad he proposed to you. I am even gladder that you accepted him. Had I know what was coming your way, the day of your wedding would have been one of the happiest in my life. You and Robert have been the glue of this family for decades now. It is the two of you who have turned this family into what it is today. And I love you for it. Both of you. And don't say it back. I am not made for that. I would be utterly embarrassed and that wouldn't be good for my health. But I know you do."

"Good."

"Don't ever tell Robert about this. Promise me."

"If it is important to you, then I won't tell him. I promise."

"Thank you."

"The girls are outside. Would you like to see them?"

"Yes. Send them in please."


End file.
